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02-10-2012, 08:44 AM | #1 |
YT 2000 Club Member | Dotties Ashes It's been six days today that Dotties been gone, every day without her gets harder and harder. We got her ashes back yesterday.... It's beyond hard. My heart literally hurts inside of me and I just want to puke. We're trying so hard to push forward but our days just seem to be full of tears that won't stop. Words just don't come to us, the silence is deafening.... I know I need to take her kennel down, but I can't bring myself to do it. All of our other furkids just want to be right here with us, in our face, licking our tears away, Mags and Jazzie sit in my lap as I type this, I know they know.... Elijah still sits in front of Dotties kennel, I think he's waiting for her to come back. People have told me to take her kennel down, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. For me it's like a double edge sword, on one hand, it kills me to walk by it and not see her in it, but on the other hand, somehow, it's a comfort still seeing it sit there. I don't want to do anything that's going to cause Elijah anymore anxiety or hurt. I'm so lost without her.... I used to tell our son when we lost our Isaiah a year ago, "he's only one breath and one heartbeat away," I now feel like I'm choking on those words. One breath and one heartbeat feels like like all the miles in the world, all I want is my girl back with me....
__________________ ~Tracy~ |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-10-2012, 08:47 AM | #2 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Patterson, Ca
Posts: 310
| I know how hard this is for you. We lost our beloved furbaby a little over a year ago, and my heart still hurts when I think of her. I pray for God's love and comfort during this time. God bless.
__________________ Shari and Belle |
02-10-2012, 09:08 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,995
| I'm so sorry that you are hurting and I do pray that it gets easier.
__________________ Have a great day... Mommy to Yoshi and Miss Priss |
02-10-2012, 09:30 AM | #4 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Idaho
Posts: 4,544
| You poor thing. I know that you feel like you will not live through it rite now but it will get a little easier as time passes. Don't rush yourself, you need to grieve as you have lost a Dear Family Member & your babies need to grieve as well as they have lost a Dear Friend. Maybe this is not the time to say it but I have found that if I add another who needs to be rescued, it helps the heart to mend & your Precious Dottie would not want you to be so sad as she Loved you as much as you loved her. Not ever replacing your Dear Dottie but instead just opening another door or chapter to your lives. I feel like when I have lost a Precious Pet that they cannot rest while I'm out of my mind with grief. I Pray that you can all find peace very soon. It brakes my heart that you are hurting so badly as I know that you Loved her with every ounce of your being, just as it should have been. |
02-10-2012, 09:37 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | It is so difficult. Hugs.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
02-10-2012, 09:38 AM | #6 |
Rosehill Yorkies Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 9,462
| Tracy, my heart hurts for you, my dear. We give our hearts and souls in love, to these precious pets, loyal gifts from God. We devote our days and nights to them, loving and caring for them, TRYING to remember that one day, He will call them home from us. As His caregivers for these precious pets He loans to us, we are certain that we will face the day we must give them back. Your love and devotion to your precious Dottie, goes with her on her journey back to Him that gave her life. She is whole and healthy, no pain, moving with all the vigor of the young girl she was so many years ago. He can do that for her now....you took care of all her needs on this side. Take comfort that she is indeed just a heartbeat and a breath away, watching and waiting for you to come for her! And take the greatest comfort with the knowledge that He is indeed pleased with the wonderful job you did as Dotties caregiver, while He left her in your care. I pray for you, that He looks now on your sorrowful soul, and that He will touch your heart and ease this pain. I pray He will comfort you and let you hear Him say, "Job well done, My faithful servant, job well done". |
02-10-2012, 10:04 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York
Posts: 3,896
| I have tears in my eyes reading this. I'm sending prayers for you and your family. It just hurts so very much. Put Dottie's things away only when you feel comfortable. I still have Sammy's basket of toys in the living room. Sometimes I break down crying when I look at them and sometimes I find comfort looking at them. It's so painful because we loved them so much. Big hugs to you. |
02-10-2012, 11:35 AM | #8 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: NY
Posts: 6,582
| When I was a teenager (several years ago) I lost a pet tragically. I cried almost hysterically for two straight weeks. Gradually I cried less but the sadness was still there for months. I have never dealt well with death, human or animals. Maybe you should take down her crate if only for the sake of your other dogs. They may be confused now thinking she may come back. It might make it easier for them to realize she is not. Dogs live in the now and will be OK with it once they know. Right now that have that reminder and a family that is in mourning. Help them to move on. You will move forward. It has only been a week. It takes time for our hearts and souls to recover from a loss like that, but you will. Of course you will always have a twinge in the heart but someday you will be able to remember the good and fun things about Dottie without so much pain. She brought you a lot of joy over the years and I'm sure she does not now want you to be in pain because of her now. |
02-10-2012, 11:40 AM | #9 | |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Idaho
Posts: 4,544
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02-10-2012, 11:54 AM | #10 |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| Tracy, I am so sorry you lost your precious Dottie. I remember the day I picked up Jack's ashes. I cried when they handed me the little box. All I could think of, "Is this all I have now." It made it all so real and so final.......Having suffered from the same loss I won't tell you that "time will heal", because it doesn't. You never get over it, all you can do is get through it. No matter what the circumstances of our loss, guilt, pain and a deep loss is there; it haunts our days, ruins our sleep, and tarnishes our memories. I had to come to the realization that some things were beyond my control. Oh, how I wished it wasn't so.....I would do anything in my power to protect and care for my boys. I also struggled with the decision as to whether I should put up his things or leave them out, always reminding of his absence. Were they making me feel better seeing them or worse constantly reminding me of the loss???....A part of me didn't want to "feel better".The thought of me "feeling better" too quickly may actually seem disrespectful. "Feeling better" seemed a lot like "letting go," and I was not be ready to do that yet. I just left them out until I felt ready to put them away. Some things are still out..... Grief as painful as it feels to us is inevitable, unavoidable, expected.... accept it, embrace it, allow it to take its course it's a testament to the power of love and attachments we have for our pets. May Dottie R.I.P. Say not, in grief, that she has gone But, give thanks that she was yours. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. Last edited by jp4m2; 02-10-2012 at 11:56 AM. |
02-10-2012, 01:21 PM | #11 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 305
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__________________ RIP CH SMART ALEX 1994 TO 2010 Last edited by licricket; 02-10-2012 at 01:22 PM. Reason: Add on | |
02-10-2012, 08:24 PM | #12 |
I ♥ my girls! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: With My Yorkies
Posts: 18,980
| I am so sorry. My heart just breaks for you. I can just feel your sadness in your post. I wish I had some advice for you. For me, putting the things away helped me to move on. You never forget them, ever. But it may make the day to day a little easier for you. Hugs to you sweetie. RIP Dottie
__________________ Momma to three sweet Yorkie girls Rosie Marie, Mikki Leigh , and Lily Mae Grace! |
02-10-2012, 08:31 PM | #13 |
YT 2000 Club Member | I just want to really thank all of you who've offered up prayers and have given so many words from your hearts to try to comfort my family and I. I really don't know what I'd do without your support and prayers. God must be hearing them cause I'm still breathing, even though my heart feels like it's ready to explode inside my chest and the pain is so overwhelming. I can't find the words tot hank you enough, but please know from the bottom of my heart, I thank you and appreciate you all....
__________________ ~Tracy~ |
02-10-2012, 08:34 PM | #14 | |
I ♥ my girls! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: With My Yorkies
Posts: 18,980
| Quote:
__________________ Momma to three sweet Yorkie girls Rosie Marie, Mikki Leigh , and Lily Mae Grace! | |
02-10-2012, 08:37 PM | #15 | |
YT 2000 Club Member | Quote:
__________________ ~Tracy~ | |
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