just need to vent a bit - YorkieTalk.com Forums

BLowry · 06-19-2011, 06:00 AM

My neighbor, and friends, lost their little Lhasa back in January. They were going to wait until a couple of years as they like to travel. My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a month ago...she is only 42 yrs old. They got is all out but she still needs radiation....she decided that not being able to travel and go out (clubbing) that now would be the time for a puppy....She was going to surprise me (by not telling me) that she was buying a Yorkie. I found out before she bought him and discussed the pros and cons of the breed. I pretty much begged her to research the breed before she decided to buy him....Well....that fell on deaf ears! Low and behold she bought a male puppy....She is SO excited!!!! which I can't blame her....She asked me over to see him.....She originally told me he was 8 weeks old....HE'S NOT! He is only 6 WEEKS OLD!!!I think the look on my face said it all....She was NOT prepared for this little guy at all!! she didn't even have food for him when she got home! NO crate, bed NOTHING!! I wanted to choke her!! I brought over an x pen for him to sleep in (in side their house) the first night he was home. I am letting them borrow my crate and let her borrow 2 of my Yorkie books so she can at least get an idea of what they are in for. She takes him EVERYWHERE with her...which isn't a bad thing but...again....he is only 6 weeks old! I told her about nutrical...she didn't get any. They went to Boston yesterday for the parade...they took the puppy with them. My husband told me to talk to her....he told me I will feel horrible if something happens to him....She just won't listen! The pup seems to be in good health...she hasn't taken him for a vet check yet either...She bought him from a woman that had 4 of them she only paid 400.00 for him. They want a dog that is going to potty outside all the time...doesn't want a dog that is "vocal"...we all know yorkies are hard to housetrain and are VERY vocal....I told her if it doesn't work out for them that I will take him...I am just very worried about this little guy...
Sorry about the long post but I just needed to vent this to people that would understand

Thank you everyone

Ringo1 · 06-19-2011, 06:07 AM

Wow. That's a toughie. Some people just have no clue about what a Yorkie requires. I think the best way you can help this pup is by maintaining your friendship and doing what you are doing - lending them the x pen; the books, etc.

I would suggest you direct her to YT - but better wait until your post ends up a few pages down!

It's great they take him everywhere - but like you said - he is only six weeks. Poor thing; I hope they can take proper care of him. No crate, no food, no bed for his first night home is a really bad sign!!

Micah my love · 06-19-2011, 06:14 AM

You tried and that is all you can do..some people have concrete skulls

i have 1 neighbor that picks her poodle up by his legs and another with a yorkie that wears a collar and i have seen her jerk his leash...yes i have explained to both the dangers of both of these but they continue..

kjc · 06-19-2011, 06:22 AM

Yes, the most you can do is to maintain the friendship and be available when she calls.... I'll pray for the little one...

Woogie Man · 06-19-2011, 07:11 AM

Taking him everywhere at this time is a terrible thing!

She should at least know that no puppy should be taken out before being vaccinated. Very easy to lose a dog to disease this way. He should not be taken out until a couple of weeks after his last round of shots. Please stress this to your friend...also the importance of a wellness check by a vet. The vet will be able to re-enforce the advice about keeping the pup home until after all vaccinations.

Other than that, all you can do is be available for her. Undoubtedly she will need your help and advice as this pup grows.

Lil Sis · 06-19-2011, 07:42 AM

Your friend is scared I am sure. Having breast cancer and the life altering effects have to be very hard and heart breaking. I am sure that may be leading to her not making the best choices for her new baby. She was a good "mom" to her first dog? I am sure she will learn what needs to done and come around. Yes... get her to join yt. I am sure she will see you concern in writing

I can tell you I made some uneducated choices for my first dog. Even my yorkie.. I know so much more now. She has you, and she loves the baby. It has a very good chance of being ok.. with your help. Just be supportive as you always sound to be. I think it is great she has you as a friend who cares.

Teresa Ford · 06-19-2011, 07:49 AM

You all are so right ! We have all seen something like this. People who get a puppy with no reality involved. I am so glad you are there for your neighbor, I just hope you can remain friends.

Teresa Ford · 06-19-2011, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lil Sis

Your friend is scared I am sure. Having breast cancer and the life altering effects have to be very hard and heart breaking. I am sure that may be leading to her not making the best choices for her new baby. She was a good "mom" to her first dog? I am sure she will learn what needs to done and come around. Yes... get her to join yt. I am sure she will see you concern in writing

I can tell you I made some uneducated choices for my first dog. Even my yorkie.. I know so much more now. She has you, and she loves the baby. It has a very good chance of being ok.. with your help. Just be supportive as you always sound to be. I think it is great she has you as a friend who cares.

I love this response, I wish I had been this nice ! Hugs to Lil Sis

My lil friend · 06-19-2011, 08:03 AM

As a friend you can be a great example to her. When my friends purchase a toy dog I try to help them prepare by being excited for them. I usually make baby blankets and a gift basket (including a book on the breed of choise). When I find great items online I send them the link. When I find really good information on food,grooming or general care I send them the link.
If you admonish her you will cut off communication and the chance to educate your friend and help protect a tiny life until Mommy gets a bit more knowledge. As with parenting of any kind,mentoring is the best way to learn.
You might suggest a sling or stroller so noone can touch the new baby if she is going to take him out. Remind her that the baby will need LOTS of water and rest while traveling. Get her a travel food and water set. She is insisting on taking the baby,you can help her by giving her ideas on how to protect her baby.
My suggestions do not mean that I agree that she should be taking the baby out,,,I do not. But you are not going to change her mind,therefore you can help protect this littleone by helping the mommy.
Your friend has been through something very scary and has a need for joy in her life. We dont always make the best decisions when we are trying to hang on to joy.
Bless you both

Taryn0405 · 06-19-2011, 09:16 AM

Talk about a rock and a hard place...

Well you did the best that you could. And like the other posters said, it's good that you talked to her and offered to take the pup if things got too complicated. Sadly, something as tragic as cancer can cause alot of emotional trauma thus leading many times to implusive behavior (a live like you were dying type of attitude). My mother-in-law *twitch* acts like this all the time and she is a breast cancer survivor.

6 weeks, yikes, poor baby probably doesn't even have all his puppy teeth yet. God bless you for trying to help her. Alot of people just don't know. I see Yorkie owners all the time pulling their babies around with collars, gotta love ignorance.

My prayers are with you and your friend not just for the puppy but for her all over health emotionally and physically.

Please keep us updated!
Hugs and kisses from Gizmo!

tjdmom · 06-19-2011, 09:24 AM

I truly believe that the love of these little guys can change you. I have hope that this little guy can help her with the scary thoughts she must have with her illness and bring her comfort and I think that she could fall in love and become like most of us here on YT. That's what I hope for and even though she has made some huge mistakes, I would try to be there for her as much as possible. Maybe even invite her for play dates and help her with training or things you might know more about that she does. But I do know how frustrating it can be for you! Good luck.....

susan lynn · 06-19-2011, 09:32 AM

It is great that she has you as a neighbor. I would be scared to death if I had to go through treatment for cancer, my babies are one of the things that would help me cope. Hopefully you can continue to help her and the puppy while she is going through treatments. She will probably need you more when she starts treatments. Praying everything goes well for your friend and the puppy.

a1navarro · 06-19-2011, 03:28 PM

I think it's a great thing you gave her the books bc to be honest when i got Secret 9wks ago i had done very little research on Yorkies. But thank goodness i new to get a book on the breed same day i purchased him and when i opened that book i was shocked at all i didn't know. Secret has been happy and heathy but just the thought of him having problems bc i didn't do my research and taking advice i don't think i could live with myself! Continue to be there for your friend!

Aidhla n Secret

KazzyK810 · 06-19-2011, 05:26 PM

You said your friend is grown woman of 42yrs and a prior dog owner. Is this really that big of a deal?

ladyjane · 06-19-2011, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Woogie Man

Taking him everywhere at this time is a terrible thing!

She should at least know that no puppy should be taken out before being vaccinated. Very easy to lose a dog to disease this way. He should not be taken out until a couple of weeks after his last round of shots. Please stress this to your friend...also the importance of a wellness check by a vet. The vet will be able to re-enforce the advice about keeping the pup home until after all vaccinations.

Other than that, all you can do is be available for her. Undoubtedly she will need your help and advice as this pup grows.

I would copy the above post for her! If this puppy gets sick and dies she will be devastated. Some people really do not understand that young puppies should not be drug all over town before they are immunized. This is something that really needs to be stressed above all things! He is very young and susceptible to so much.

Other than that, yep...I agree, just be there for when she undoubtedly will need you.

06-19-2011, 06:00 AM	#1
BLowry My furkids Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 4,625 Blog Entries: 1	just need to vent a bit My neighbor, and friends, lost their little Lhasa back in January. They were going to wait until a couple of years as they like to travel. My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a month ago...she is only 42 yrs old. They got is all out but she still needs radiation....she decided that not being able to travel and go out (clubbing) that now would be the time for a puppy....She was going to surprise me (by not telling me) that she was buying a Yorkie. I found out before she bought him and discussed the pros and cons of the breed. I pretty much begged her to research the breed before she decided to buy him....Well....that fell on deaf ears! Low and behold she bought a male puppy....She is SO excited!!!! which I can't blame her....She asked me over to see him.....She originally told me he was 8 weeks old....HE'S NOT! He is only 6 WEEKS OLD!!!I think the look on my face said it all....She was NOT prepared for this little guy at all!! she didn't even have food for him when she got home! NO crate, bed NOTHING!! I wanted to choke her!! I brought over an x pen for him to sleep in (in side their house) the first night he was home. I am letting them borrow my crate and let her borrow 2 of my Yorkie books so she can at least get an idea of what they are in for. She takes him EVERYWHERE with her...which isn't a bad thing but...again....he is only 6 weeks old! I told her about nutrical...she didn't get any. They went to Boston yesterday for the parade...they took the puppy with them. My husband told me to talk to her....he told me I will feel horrible if something happens to him....She just won't listen! The pup seems to be in good health...she hasn't taken him for a vet check yet either...She bought him from a woman that had 4 of them she only paid 400.00 for him. They want a dog that is going to potty outside all the time...doesn't want a dog that is "vocal"...we all know yorkies are hard to housetrain and are VERY vocal....I told her if it doesn't work out for them that I will take him...I am just very worried about this little guy... Sorry about the long post but I just needed to vent this to people that would understand Thank you everyone __________________ Brenda

06-19-2011, 06:07 AM	#2
Ringo1 Ringo (1) and Lucy too! Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: On the Edge of Glory Posts: 3,447	Wow. That's a toughie. Some people just have no clue about what a Yorkie requires. I think the best way you can help this pup is by maintaining your friendship and doing what you are doing - lending them the x pen; the books, etc. I would suggest you direct her to YT - but better wait until your post ends up a few pages down! It's great they take him everywhere - but like you said - he is only six weeks. Poor thing; I hope they can take proper care of him. No crate, no food, no bed for his first night home is a really bad sign!! __________________ Mommy to Lucy, Ringo, and Matthew

06-19-2011, 06:14 AM	#3
Micah my love Donating YT 100K Club Member & Top YorkieTalk Poster! Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western KY Posts: 108,935	You tried and that is all you can do..some people have concrete skulls i have 1 neighbor that picks her poodle up by his legs and another with a yorkie that wears a collar and i have seen her jerk his leash...yes i have explained to both the dangers of both of these but they continue.. __________________ Betty & Micah my love + Yogi

06-19-2011, 06:22 AM	#4
kjc I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 18,866	Yes, the most you can do is to maintain the friendship and be available when she calls.... I'll pray for the little one... __________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity

06-19-2011, 07:11 AM	#5
Woogie Man Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Mississippi Posts: 2,564	Taking him everywhere at this time is a terrible thing! She should at least know that no puppy should be taken out before being vaccinated. Very easy to lose a dog to disease this way. He should not be taken out until a couple of weeks after his last round of shots. Please stress this to your friend...also the importance of a wellness check by a vet. The vet will be able to re-enforce the advice about keeping the pup home until after all vaccinations. Other than that, all you can do is be available for her. Undoubtedly she will need your help and advice as this pup grows. __________________ ORANGUTANS ARE DYING FOR THE SAKE OF CHEAP PALM OIL....AND YOU USE IT!!! http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/ani...m-oil-you.html

06-19-2011, 07:42 AM	#6
Lil Sis Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: South Florida Posts: 8,008	Your friend is scared I am sure. Having breast cancer and the life altering effects have to be very hard and heart breaking. I am sure that may be leading to her not making the best choices for her new baby. She was a good "mom" to her first dog? I am sure she will learn what needs to done and come around. Yes... get her to join yt. I am sure she will see you concern in writing I can tell you I made some uneducated choices for my first dog. Even my yorkie.. I know so much more now. She has you, and she loves the baby. It has a very good chance of being ok.. with your help. Just be supportive as you always sound to be. I think it is great she has you as a friend who cares. __________________ Shinja mom to Remy lil Sis to Bailey and Sammy

06-19-2011, 07:49 AM	#7
Teresa Ford Therapy Yorkies Work Donating Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Central, Florida Posts: 3,863	You all are so right ! We have all seen something like this. People who get a puppy with no *reality* involved. I am so glad you are there for your neighbor, I just hope you can remain friends.

06-19-2011, 08:03 AM	#9
My lil friend Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FtWorth,TX,USA Posts: 3,269	As a friend you can be a great example to her. When my friends purchase a toy dog I try to help them prepare by being excited for them. I usually make baby blankets and a gift basket (including a book on the breed of choise). When I find great items online I send them the link. When I find really good information on food,grooming or general care I send them the link. If you admonish her you will cut off communication and the chance to educate your friend and help protect a tiny life until Mommy gets a bit more knowledge. As with parenting of any kind,mentoring is the best way to learn. You might suggest a sling or stroller so noone can touch the new baby if she is going to take him out. Remind her that the baby will need LOTS of water and rest while traveling. Get her a travel food and water set. She is insisting on taking the baby,you can help her by giving her ideas on how to protect her baby. My suggestions do not mean that I agree that she should be taking the baby out,,,I do not. But you are not going to change her mind,therefore you can help protect this littleone by helping the mommy. Your friend has been through something very scary and has a need for joy in her life. We dont always make the best decisions when we are trying to hang on to joy. Bless you both

06-19-2011, 09:16 AM	#10
Taryn0405 Owned by a Gremlin Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: The Mitten State! Posts: 3,706	Talk about a rock and a hard place... Well you did the best that you could. And like the other posters said, it's good that you talked to her and offered to take the pup if things got too complicated. Sadly, something as tragic as cancer can cause alot of emotional trauma thus leading many times to implusive behavior (a live like you were dying type of attitude). My mother-in-law twitch acts like this all the time and she is a breast cancer survivor. 6 weeks, yikes, poor baby probably doesn't even have all his puppy teeth yet. God bless you for trying to help her. Alot of people just don't know. I see Yorkie owners all the time pulling their babies around with collars, gotta love ignorance. My prayers are with you and your friend not just for the puppy but for her all over health emotionally and physically. Please keep us updated! Hugs and kisses from Gizmo! __________________ Taryn Momma to Gizmo AKA Monkeyman My husband, daughter, son, and dog make me who I am "My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am."

06-19-2011, 09:24 AM	#11
tjdmom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny Posts: 5,847	I truly believe that the love of these little guys can change you. I have hope that this little guy can help her with the scary thoughts she must have with her illness and bring her comfort and I think that she could fall in love and become like most of us here on YT. That's what I hope for and even though she has made some huge mistakes, I would try to be there for her as much as possible. Maybe even invite her for play dates and help her with training or things you might know more about that she does. But I do know how frustrating it can be for you! Good luck.....

06-19-2011, 09:32 AM	#12
susan lynn Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 3,262	It is great that she has you as a neighbor. I would be scared to death if I had to go through treatment for cancer, my babies are one of the things that would help me cope. Hopefully you can continue to help her and the puppy while she is going through treatments. She will probably need you more when she starts treatments. Praying everything goes well for your friend and the puppy. __________________ SUSAN : TESSIE : HOBBES :CALVIN :SASSY There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face! ~ Ben Williams

06-19-2011, 03:28 PM	#13
a1navarro Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Grovetown, Ga Posts: 32	I think it's a great thing you gave her the books bc to be honest when i got Secret 9wks ago i had done very little research on Yorkies. But thank goodness i new to get a book on the breed same day i purchased him and when i opened that book i was shocked at all i didn't know. Secret has been happy and heathy but just the thought of him having problems bc i didn't do my research and taking advice i don't think i could live with myself! Continue to be there for your friend! Aidhla n Secret

06-19-2011, 05:26 PM	#14
KazzyK810 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Michigan USA & Sheffield UK Posts: 4,119	You said your friend is grown woman of 42yrs and a prior dog owner. Is this really that big of a deal? __________________ Karan & ZoE (Chelsea )