Should I have skin kids or NOT?

[edwardsmom]

I have to be honest I love children but there are sooo many more things to worry about when u have ur own, and i would love to just have at least 3 yorkies so far i only have one b/c i am currently unemployed but as soon as that changes im getting a secomd one! so i would hate to have to get rid of my furkids b/c of my having skin kids. Im also super scared of child labor and the fact that u have them and go through thick and thin with them and some of them will grow up to not appreciate u or hate you or just grow up to be ppl that u never thought they would. My mother whenevr i tell her im not sure if i want to have kids she starts saying u have to have at least 2 b/c that is your family... but my bf is older then me and he has 3 skin kids and he tries so hard to be a good parent and being that im the stepmother they will tell me things they dont tell him and it just feels like they are selfish and take advantage of his good nature all the time. Also in the future i wanna get into fostering rescues and doing a whole bunch of thing to help Yorkies as well as all dogs in need.

So the question is what does everyone think about this? are there any of you who never had children? never wanted to or couldnt and the regrets of not having them?

[nana911]

Wow, that is a very personal and loaded question. Ann Landers did a survey decades ago and asked people with kids if they had to do it again would they have have their kids and surprisingly the majority said, no. I would not. I wouldn't take billion dollars for my kids, but I wouldn't do it again.

You are right, having kids is a crap shoot. You don't know how they are going to turn out. You can raise them right and they still will turn out wrong. You just never know. And with the crap facing them nowadays. It is chancy. Mine are in their mid thirties. Love my grandkids, but I fear for them.

If you can find your satisfaction in channeling all your love into furkids and rescues, more power to you. They won't step on your heart, disappoint you, wind up in jail, divorced etc...

It is a personal decision and yours alone to make. Don't let anyone else make it for you.

[WV~Yorkies]

I guess it is a personal thing but I couldn't see my life without my kids and yorkies. I have no problem handling both.

[Rhetts_mama]

I'm with Melissa, I can't imagine my life without either my skin kids or my furbutts (though depending on the day, I could do without one or the other ). But you have to follow your own heart as to what is right for you. Families come in all shapes and forms.

[BanditSocks2]

Just curious how old you are and if you're married and for how long?

I'm 26, been married a year, and in my 5th year of teaching. My DH is a PE teacher so we're never going to be $$ but we're comfortable at the moment. We have 2 yorkies. I know I eventually want kids but being a teacher you see the worst (and of course best, but the worst just sticks in your head when thinking about having your own lol) of them. Some parents are obviously not ready (not in the accidents happen sense but in the maturity sense) and don't truly want them and I think to a certain degree it ruins both the parents and kids life. My DH and I are tentatively planning to have kids around 30 but like you, don't want it to mess up our "fur kids" life. I even asked my mom what would happen if I didn't like my kids as much as my pups lol.

Just my thoughts- just make sure it's what you want, and if it's not yorkies are more than enough

[camile]

Since you asked.................

In that you even raised the question, your answer is, no. Unless a couple, really know they want to start a family, they should wait. Even if they wait forever. Since you feel that you might not be able to care for both children and dogs and you want to keep and eventually add to your dogs, why are you considering a child? Children take an enormous amount of everything, not the least of which is, you. I knew when I was still a child myself, that I wanted a family. I also love and have always had pets, mostly dogs. I will say that when my babies were very small, I didn't have dogs, but my sons were raised in a housefull of pets of all kinds and I felt this was important for their well-balanced up-bringing. There is nothing wrong with people opting out of parenting, in fact, I see many women with kids that should have stuck with a grasshopper. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

[LuvMySissy]

I think if you an asking this question, the answer would be now. If you are not 100% certain this isn't a road you want to go down. To paraphrase a line in "Eat, Pray, Love" ~ having kids is like getting a tatoo on your face. You need to be really sure its what you want before you do it!

If you don't have kids and decide something is missing, you can always foster or be a Big Sister. There are lots of ways you can parent without actually having kids.

[BanditSocks2]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

If you don't have kids and decide something is missing, you can always foster or be a Big Sister. There are lots of ways you can parent without actually having kids.

Or adopt another lil yorkie

You don't have to have the answers now. If you're not ready now then don't have kids now. If you decide you want them later and are sure, then have them, if not, you'll have the best trained most spoiled yorkies ever

[edwardsmom]

Thanks for all the great advice i am 24 so i have a lot of time to think about it but I completely agree with the fact that parents that didnt want kids but had them so now both the parents and the kids lives are ruined. I feel like i have so much to offer a child of my own but then i think what happens those days when i want to be left alone and i cant shove him/her back up...lol. And im definitely not going to leave this decision up to anyone but myself. I have been with my bf since i was 18 and for like a yr now he has asked me when are we having a baby? But i always tell him real easy for you to say when u will not be the one bearing the child! plus he has three that have not even left the house yet! I am very happy right now but it just seems like all my friends already have kids like im literally the only person in my circle that doesnt have any on top of that they all think im crazy b/c none of them have pets and they have not even gotten married. I definitely need to get married b4 i have my first child if i do have any, I need to get married even if i dont have any skin kids.


I love YORKIE TALK where else can i get this type of advice!

[BanditSocks2]

I moved down to MD from NY and was shocked at how many of my new friends (I was 22 when I moved down) started popping out kids... and they were married and settled down already!!! I knew it wasn't for me at the time, and while I'm still friends with them I'm closer with other people now. It's something I want but I want it YEARS down the road lol.

[JDS]

This is a very personal decision. Do I think everyone is "cut out" for being a parent? NO. Reading your questions did make my mind wander a bit, though. Not to be ugly, but it sounds like you are afraid kids would "impose" on your life. They absolutely DO impose on your life...they, in fact, become the center of your life!

I'll tell you my story. I got married when I was barely 19. My dh and I had been together since I was 16, he was 19...we were & still are best friends. 8 months into marraige, we found out I was pg...not really planned, but not unwanted either. We both wanted kids eventually. So, I had my dd at the age of almost 21. We had our second child 2 years later, our third two years after that, & our 4th and last 2 years after that.

We are happy. But not everything is roses. There are days where I want & need to be alone without the responsibilities of parenting. Sometimes the grandparents can help out & give me and my dh the time we need for ourselves, sometimes they can't. So there are times that I would like to have alone, but can't. But it doesn't make me resent my kids or wish I hadn't had them. There are also days where I ask, what did I do? What was I thinking? But then they will do something so incredibly cute or wonderful that the bad goes away. There's just a love there that you can not explain & you won't understand until you have a child.

I do worry about what if they don't turn out to be good people. My answer to that is to do everything in my power to guide them in the right direction & leave the rest to God. I have one son that we have trouble with...he's a great kid, has a lot to offer but he has issues with responsibility & respecting authority. He's only 7 so we have time to correct this behavior, thankfully. My dh and I have to work together parenting or it just doesn't work for us. It definitely takes the both of us (along with a lot of prayer!!!)!

You're young. You have time. My advice is to search your heart, talk with your dh. If you really don't want kids, do NOT have them! Do not have kids just b/c your parents want grankids or b/c all of your friends have kids. That does no one any good...you will be miserable, your dh will be miserable, & your kids will be miserable.

[YubYub]

I'm 27 and occasionally get to hang out with two close friends from HS. We are otherwise surrounded by friends with babies and children but the three of us all agree that we are not interested in kids yet, love our disposable income and relative freedom and are basically too selfish to want children right now. We're ok with that. Too many old friends had kids and shotgun weddings and are now miserable and regretful. Both friends are married, one insists that if she decides one day she'll adopt, the other and her husband enjoy going out to the happening places in Boston for DINC dinners. Double Income No Children. There is plenty of time to have kids when the feeling is right, no need to rush into a choice.

[bribunny]

Okay, since you asked. First off, I am a mom of 2 little girls and are we are expecting our 3rd in April. That being said, I am a firm believer in you can do anything you put your heart to. From your situation, you raise a lot of HUGE questions that are very personal. However, I believe these things will come in time. For example, when my husband and I got married, I wanted kids right away and he didn't. However, one day he looked and asked if we could start trying. Now 3 kids later, I do not regret it at all. I would say that you aren't ready right now and that your best bet would be focus on getting to a stable place in your relationship and in your personal life.

You will never feel financial comfortable with having a child. Well at least in my experience. There are ways to help cut the cost, but thats another story!

Anyways, after all my rambling the point I wanted to make is, when you are ready you will know. If you never feel ready, then that is your answer.

Kids shouldn't be a burden. Yes, some days are going to be awful and you want them gone. But, the sweet smiles and Mommy I love you's are worth it.

[edwardsmom]

Thanks everybody after more thought and ur advice i realize IM definitely not ready and probably wont be for many more yrs to come. And bribunny thanks you are so right when im ready i will know but if i never feel ready then thats my answer I will keep that in mind forever!


Thank you everybody
This community for me feels so strong and close but i guess thats the power of Yorkies bringing us together!

[bribunny]

Originally Posted by edwardsmom

Thanks everybody after more thought and ur advice i realize IM definitely not ready and probably wont be for many more yrs to come. And bribunny thanks you are so right when im ready i will know but if i never feel ready then thats my answer I will keep that in mind forever!


Thank you everybody
This community for me feels so strong and close but i guess thats the power of Yorkies bringing us together!

No problem! I wish you luck! You're life will end out the way it is meant to be!