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Old 04-29-2010, 05:01 PM   #1
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Default What can i possibly say?

A friend of mine had to have her dog put down today,he an older s**tzu.
she has not been my friend for long only about a year and i have not been keeping in touch the past few weeks. I guess in the past few months he has lost his ability to see hear and walk. My friends parents had him at the vet when he started losing his hearing and vision and they said with his advanced age they might should consider having him put to sleep they hesitated and when he was no longer able to walk they really started thinking about it then when he stopped eating they decided it was time. I guess my friend has been feeding him liquid diet replacement for senior dogs for a week.

What should i say to her to help her through this? i thought about a card but that seemed impersonal. what would you want to hear if this was(god forbid) you?I thought about going to see her but i cant leave gatsby alone (he is on a new med for anxiety,he has bad allergys so he has to be watched close for a sign of allergic reaction) and that seems bad taste
what do I do? what do i say?
Thanks for the advice
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:06 PM   #2
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If it were me, I would love to hear from a friend. A phone call would be more personal and let her know you are there if she needs to talk. Even if it's been a while since you've spoken it would probably mean the world to her right now!
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:07 PM   #3
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I think a card would be lovely. They have some nice ones for loss of a pet. Just personalize it with a little story she's told you about her little one and that you know how much he meant to her. So sorry. I know you feel her pain. xo
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:08 PM   #4
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Do a google search on the Rainbow Bridge...I love it and I think there are websites where you can light a candle...this will help you express your sadness to your friend. Death is hard to deal with but we all must go through it with loved ones and it is important you tell her you are sorry for her pain and then maybe give her the Rainbow Bridge Poem.
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:21 PM   #5
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The replys are on target. What a person does not want to hear after a loss is ....
-He/She is in a better place now. People mean well, but sometimes say the wrong thing. I unfortunately have personal experience with that.

All you can do is be supportive, talk if the person wants to talk, and be a friend. A card or expression of sympathy, a donation to a shelter, is always nice.
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:26 PM   #6
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a card is a tad inpersonal but accompanied with a phone call, flowers and maybe a doggy teddy would be gr8 .i hope all goes well with ur doggy too
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:35 PM   #7
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When I last lost a dog, cards from friends were much appreciated... the people who said "its just a dog" were not

A card says that you understand that it is a difficult time and you are acknowledging it
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:43 PM   #8
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When I lost Biscuit in November, kind words were what I wanted to hear. I needed to know that people understood how much he meant to me and how deeply I felt about his passing. I think a phone call would be nice if you were close enough, otherwise a card is appropriate. It is a good friend that shows that they care enough to let you know they are thinking about you.
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:48 PM   #9
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I agree with all of the above. A call would let her know you are there for her. If she doesn't feel like talking you will know. I am sorry for her loss.
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Old 04-29-2010, 06:12 PM   #10
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A phone call would be a bad thing from me....I know I would get upset, which would defeat the purpose - 2 friends of mine lost their dogs within the past week, and we live in a very small town - lots of people on FB told them to read Rainbow Bridge - I find this very sad and it upsets me - I still think of my Toffee.....I am surprised more people don't find this sad and not helpful.
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Old 04-29-2010, 06:44 PM   #11
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You can't go wrong with a heartfelt message in a card or call to acknowledge someones pain and grief. There are no perfect words to say, but do at least let the person know you are sorry for their loss. It means more than you will ever know to have someone reach out in that way when you are hurting (been there so I know).
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Old 04-30-2010, 05:06 AM   #12
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Thanks everyone i called her last night but her mother said she would not come out of her room so today me and two of her other close friends are going to go over and take her to lunch and a movie. she seems really hit by this im trying to remember that she has had rags (her s**t-zu) since she was 7or 8 years old almost her whole remembered life to her its like losing a sibling and im having trouble grasping that .
but im hopeing she will feel a little better after our day out
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:09 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misslissa View Post
Thanks everyone i called her last night but her mother said she would not come out of her room so today me and two of her other close friends are going to go over and take her to lunch and a movie. she seems really hit by this im trying to remember that she has had rags (her s**t-zu) since she was 7or 8 years old almost her whole remembered life to her its like losing a sibling and im having trouble grasping that .
but im hopeing she will feel a little better after our day out
Good for you for reaching out to her. I know it will make her feel a little better just to know you care!
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:29 PM   #14
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Love A card would mean so much

When my one dog had to be put down, it killed me. I searched these poems and they game me some peace. The vet that put him down sent me a card later that week. All it said was I "am sorry for your loss" it meant so much to me knowing someone took the time to send me a card and to this day I still have that card, and writing about it is making me tear up!





I ONLY WANTED YOU


They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.



<ul>The Last Battle

</ul> If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.




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