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04-29-2010, 05:01 PM | #1 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: canton ohio us
Posts: 1,574
| What can i possibly say? A friend of mine had to have her dog put down today,he an older s**tzu. she has not been my friend for long only about a year and i have not been keeping in touch the past few weeks. I guess in the past few months he has lost his ability to see hear and walk. My friends parents had him at the vet when he started losing his hearing and vision and they said with his advanced age they might should consider having him put to sleep they hesitated and when he was no longer able to walk they really started thinking about it then when he stopped eating they decided it was time. I guess my friend has been feeding him liquid diet replacement for senior dogs for a week. What should i say to her to help her through this? i thought about a card but that seemed impersonal. what would you want to hear if this was(god forbid) you?I thought about going to see her but i cant leave gatsby alone (he is on a new med for anxiety,he has bad allergys so he has to be watched close for a sign of allergic reaction) and that seems bad taste what do I do? what do i say? Thanks for the advice
__________________ Don't say I love you unless you mean it, but if you do say it a lot. People forget. |
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04-29-2010, 05:06 PM | #2 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Lake Charles, La, United States
Posts: 325
| If it were me, I would love to hear from a friend. A phone call would be more personal and let her know you are there if she needs to talk. Even if it's been a while since you've spoken it would probably mean the world to her right now! |
04-29-2010, 05:07 PM | #3 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: santa clarita, CA
Posts: 289
| I think a card would be lovely. They have some nice ones for loss of a pet. Just personalize it with a little story she's told you about her little one and that you know how much he meant to her. So sorry. I know you feel her pain. xo |
04-29-2010, 05:08 PM | #4 |
Princess Poop A Lot Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,728
| Do a google search on the Rainbow Bridge...I love it and I think there are websites where you can light a candle...this will help you express your sadness to your friend. Death is hard to deal with but we all must go through it with loved ones and it is important you tell her you are sorry for her pain and then maybe give her the Rainbow Bridge Poem.
__________________ Cindy & The Rescued Gang Puppies Are Not Products! |
04-29-2010, 05:21 PM | #5 |
BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Illinois
Posts: 4,603
| The replys are on target. What a person does not want to hear after a loss is .... -He/She is in a better place now. People mean well, but sometimes say the wrong thing. I unfortunately have personal experience with that. All you can do is be supportive, talk if the person wants to talk, and be a friend. A card or expression of sympathy, a donation to a shelter, is always nice. |
04-29-2010, 05:26 PM | #6 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: bronx
Posts: 115
| a card is a tad inpersonal but accompanied with a phone call, flowers and maybe a doggy teddy would be gr8 .i hope all goes well with ur doggy too |
04-29-2010, 05:35 PM | #7 |
I ♥ Armani & Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,895
| When I last lost a dog, cards from friends were much appreciated... the people who said "its just a dog" were not A card says that you understand that it is a difficult time and you are acknowledging it
__________________ Armani & Chloe |
04-29-2010, 05:43 PM | #8 |
♥Luv my Trixie Belle♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 3,010
| When I lost Biscuit in November, kind words were what I wanted to hear. I needed to know that people understood how much he meant to me and how deeply I felt about his passing. I think a phone call would be nice if you were close enough, otherwise a card is appropriate. It is a good friend that shows that they care enough to let you know they are thinking about you.
__________________ RIP Biscuit My heart belongs to Trixie |
04-29-2010, 05:48 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I agree with all of the above. A call would let her know you are there for her. If she doesn't feel like talking you will know. I am sorry for her loss.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
04-29-2010, 06:12 PM | #10 |
YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: MacTier Ontario Canada
Posts: 365
| A phone call would be a bad thing from me....I know I would get upset, which would defeat the purpose - 2 friends of mine lost their dogs within the past week, and we live in a very small town - lots of people on FB told them to read Rainbow Bridge - I find this very sad and it upsets me - I still think of my Toffee.....I am surprised more people don't find this sad and not helpful.
__________________ Mr. Darcy Miss Lizzie Toffee in Heaven at 15-1/2 - still sadly missed 1993-Christmas 2008 |
04-29-2010, 06:44 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Maui, Hawaii
Posts: 7,740
| You can't go wrong with a heartfelt message in a card or call to acknowledge someones pain and grief. There are no perfect words to say, but do at least let the person know you are sorry for their loss. It means more than you will ever know to have someone reach out in that way when you are hurting (been there so I know).
__________________ SANDY, MOM TO TIKI , KAYLA , KARLEE , R.I.P. MEIKA |
04-30-2010, 05:06 AM | #12 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: canton ohio us
Posts: 1,574
| Thanks everyone i called her last night but her mother said she would not come out of her room so today me and two of her other close friends are going to go over and take her to lunch and a movie. she seems really hit by this im trying to remember that she has had rags (her s**t-zu) since she was 7or 8 years old almost her whole remembered life to her its like losing a sibling and im having trouble grasping that . but im hopeing she will feel a little better after our day out
__________________ Don't say I love you unless you mean it, but if you do say it a lot. People forget. |
04-30-2010, 06:09 PM | #13 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Maui, Hawaii
Posts: 7,740
| Quote:
__________________ SANDY, MOM TO TIKI , KAYLA , KARLEE , R.I.P. MEIKA | |
04-30-2010, 06:29 PM | #14 |
Yorkie Yakker | A card would mean so much When my one dog had to be put down, it killed me. I searched these poems and they game me some peace. The vet that put him down sent me a card later that week. All it said was I "am sorry for your loss" it meant so much to me knowing someone took the time to send me a card and to this day I still have that card, and writing about it is making me tear up! I ONLY WANTED YOU They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill. If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again. <ul>The Last Battle </ul> If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this -- the last battle -- can't be won. You will be sad I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test. We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see. I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Don't grieve that it must be you Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close -- we two -- these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears.
__________________ ~*~ KristenDanielle & Zoey Lynn ~*~ |
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