What am I going to do?

[violet voon]

Last night, as I was watching tv show with my mum
All of a sudden, mum popped up this

"...what are you going to do if one day Sugar leaves you..."

I was all shocked, looked at her in the eyes...
"Mum, why did you ask that?"

I never want to imagine what would happen 15+ years later. I lost my cat when I was 16, either someone took her or she lost her way. I searched everywhere...no one saw her. I cried for many months, still cry over it until now. I know mum concerns about this, she knows I love Sugar... I believe she just wanted to 'remind' me that Sugar is not going to stay with me until my hair turns grey. But my heart felt so painful, I know everyone I love is not going to stay with me forever, but I don't want to be reminded, I'm already having a hard time imagining every possible bad things might happen, it didn't do any good to me, I always ended up having bad time... since then, I only look at the brighter side, but still...it's not easy

What am I going to do?
I didn't answer mum

[Twinkie2Cute]

I think we should enjoy the time we have with our babies and then treasure the memories.

[Zeus08]

Originally Posted by Twinkie2Cute

I think we should enjoy the time we have with our babies and then treasure the memories.

I agree you have to be thankful for the time you do get with Sugar and not worry about the "what if's". That kinda stuff will drive you nuts.

[violet voon]

I agree I often think too much...

[MeganS]

I am very guilty of thinking way way too much about things like that. It's hard. I agree with the others - try to just treasure the time, and take a lot of pictures and videos. and remember that your baby will always be with you in heart.

[QuickSilver]

Okay, this is kind of weird, but: I used to kind of be haunted by the thought of Thor's death. Like the fact that I will likely be there with him when he dies, I can't stand to picture it. Then a few weeks ago, I got pet insurance, and part of that process is deciding how much coverage to get. I opted for the max, which is $20K. Afterwards, I started to wonder what quality of life Thor would have if he had some kind of illness or injury that actually cost $20K. I kind of thought about opening a thread on it, but I didn't know how to word it.

I guess I want to say that death is not the worst thing that can happen. We have the luxury of choosing when our pets will die. It is in many ways an awful luxury, but at the same time, death is a natural part of life, and helping your pet "cross over" is one of the most loving things you can do.

Someone very close to me died a violent, tragic death, and for several years afterward, if someone had said the kind of thing I said above, I probably would have decked them. Grief is known in psychology as temporary insanity! So yes, it will be awful, and we will probably be inconsolable for some time, but we can look at it another way, and see our pets joining in the one experience that absolutely everything under the sun (including the sun!) undergoes. And yes, it makes it that much more important to enjoy them while they are here.

Hope that helps somewhat and is not too morbid.

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by violet voon

Last night, as I was watching tv show with my mum
All of a sudden, mum popped up this

"...what are you going to do if one day Sugar leaves you..."

I was all shocked, looked at her in the eyes...
"Mum, why did you ask that?"

I never want to imagine what would happen 15+ years later. I lost my cat when I was 16, either someone took her or she lost her way. I searched everywhere...no one saw her. I cried for many months, still cry over it until now. I know mum concerns about this, she knows I love Sugar... I believe she just wanted to 'remind' me that Sugar is not going to stay with me until my hair turns grey. But my heart felt so painful, I know everyone I love is not going to stay with me forever, but I don't want to be reminded, I'm already having a hard time imagining every possible bad things might happen, it didn't do any good to me, I always ended up having bad time... since then, I only look at the brighter side, but still...it's not easy

What am I going to do?
I didn't answer mum

I am the exact same way. I use to get physically ill (and sometimes still do) at the thought of losing my dad. I even made him promise me to take me with him when he goes. I was really young then and I understand now that he can't keep that promise. My dad snuck that same question in this weekend, but added, "Would you get another yorkie? You know you'll never find another one like Kaji."
That thought makes me cringe.

[violet voon]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

Okay, this is kind of weird, but: I used to kind of be haunted by the thought of Thor's death. Like the fact that I will likely be there with him when he dies, I can't stand to picture it. Then a few weeks ago, I got pet insurance, and part of that process is deciding how much coverage to get. I opted for the max, which is $20K. Afterwards, I started to wonder what quality of life Thor would have if he had some kind of illness or injury that actually cost $20K. I kind of thought about opening a thread on it, but I didn't know how to word it.

I guess I want to say that death is not the worst thing that can happen. We have the luxury of choosing when our pets will die. It is in many ways an awful luxury, but at the same time, death is a natural part of life, and helping your pet "cross over" is one of the most loving things you can do.

Someone very close to me died a violent, tragic death, and for several years afterward, if someone had said the kind of thing I said above, I probably would have decked them. Grief is known in psychology as temporary insanity! So yes, it will be awful, and we will probably be inconsolable for some time, but we can look at it another way, and see our pets joining in the one experience that absolutely everything under the sun (including the sun!) undergoes. And yes, it makes it that much more important to enjoy them while they are here.

Hope that helps somewhat and is not too morbid.

I thought of getting pet insurance for Sugar too, but sadly I couldn't get it in my country

[violet voon]

Originally Posted by DvlshAngel985

I am the exact same way. I use to get physically ill (and sometimes still do) at the thought of losing my dad. I even made him promise me to take me with him when he goes. I was really young then and I understand now that he can't keep that promise. My dad snuck that same question in this weekend, but added, "Would you get another yorkie? You know you'll never find another one like Kaji."
That thought makes me cringe.

...I use to tell my mum the same thing, I told her I would follow her when she goes...mum just smiled and said no
Sigh, we should stop thinking all these!
Let's not to think too much, I'm learning to love/appreciate everyday, as long as I live

[Jellybears]

I don't know if this is the same - but - I am getting older - 60 - and not being here 'for always' has got into my mind. I look at my grandkids and think I won't be here for all their time, and my daughter - thinking about not always being here for her. We are very close. I do try to 'talk' to myself and shake myself out of these thoughts - it's hard. But then I think - when I am 80 I will look back and say 'waste of time - enjoy each day Lynne!!!!!!!!

[jp4m2]

I don't think it's odd that you've thought about this issue....it's scary to have to wonder about the eventual loss we will have to face concerning someone we love so dearly......I've been at that dark place myself many times.

My Jack was recently diagnosed with kidney disease and I find myself thinking about this often....I can't help but think: How much time do we have together?....Does he know?....How bad is this going to get?.......And then I have to get a hold of myself into not going to this dark place and just enjoy him while he is here or all of his remaining time will be wasted with worry instead of loving him.....


"You graced my life with your presence. Thank you for every moment we shared. Until I can journey to where you now are, you are just one breath away. I hold you in my heart until we are together once more when I will hold you in my arms never to be parted again."

[Ivy Lucille]

I lost my first beloved Yorkie (Ivy Lucille) several years ago. I was devastated. She was my first "child" and I loved her like one. I won't get in to the whole story of her death but in the end, I had to decide to let her go. It tore me up. I was physically ill as we went through our last day together. It was a long time before I could look at pictures of her or her baby teeth. I had cut a lock of hair from her on the last day and tucked it away.

It took me a few years before I could even consider getting another Yorkie even though I longed for her. I finally missed having a little dog around so bad I finally got my Mayzie and then my beloved little Mozes. I often think of the pain that I will inevitably have to endure again and it scares me to death. But I can't imagine what I would have been giving up if I had not gotten either of these guys. They bring me so much joy that I am willing to face that again. In some ways, I think it will be a LOT harder now because at the time of Lucy's death, I had young children to occupy my time and now my kids are teens and I am fully invested in Mayzie and Mo.

Sorry, I have gotten long winded here--my point is this: While losing them scares the hell out of me, I try not to let that fear sap my joy that these little guys bring me every day. While I do think about it--to often actually, I try not to think about losing them, when I should be enjoying them while I have them.

[yorkieusa]

It is part of life and something we can't avoid. Just live and enjoy each day with your beloved Sugar and be thankful you have her to love.

[yorkie_mama22]

I already had to deal with the death of my first yorkie Stormy. It was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. I really can't remember crying more then that day when I came home to find my sweet little Stormy's lifeless body. It was very hard for me because my fiancee had called me and told me that Stormy was having a hard time breathing and to hurry home. I was across the city it took me about 15-20 mins to rush home with my mom, she has a mustang and she was driving fast. Thank God I wasn't driving or I would of probably had an accident. I just remember getting this weird feeling in my gut but I just kept praying that it was some sick joke my fiancee was playing on me.

Stormy had been fine 5 hours earlier when I had left my house. I had cuddled with her on the couch and I was going to bring her with me when I left to drop my car off at the mechanic's but at the last minute I said I will leave her home, I wasn't expecting to be gone 5 hours otherwise I would of brought her. I wish so badly that I had brought her, maybe she wouldn't of died.

When I got home and burst through the door I could just hear my fiancee in the bathroom saying " breath Stormy, comon girl ", I went into the bathroom and he had her on the counter doing CPR to her. I just touched her body and she was lifeless, I just said to my fiancee " She is gone, leave her be now "

It was too late she was gone and I didn't even get to say good bye to my baby I know my fiancee tried what he could, he was doing CPR the whole time from the phone call to when I got there. I just took her into my arms and wrapped her in her blanket and balled like I have never balled before. I just kept crying that I couldn't even breath asking WHY, WHY did you have to go? I was so angry that I was screaming at my fiancee calling him names because I didn't know how else to react. I held her for about half hour maybe less until her body was stiff that I couldn't bare to hold her anymore like that. My mom took her and put her in a box wrapped up and brought her to be buried.

My baby had what I believe was a seizure and never awoke from it. She was known to have seizures from stress. This was a monday and that Saturday and Sunday I had worked about 12 hr days each, I usually brought her to work in the office but I had to work on the boat after the office and wouldn't of had time to bring her home. So she stayed home. I didn't get to spend any time with her that weekend and Monday's cuddles were very short. I think she may of felt that I had left her again like I had left her at the vets for more then 3 weeks when she was ill.

Sorry for the long story but the point is that. It was so painful and heart breaking for me to deal with it, it was so much worse then I could imagine. I was a mess for a while I couldn't eat or sleep. Finally though I opened my heart again to Lola and she has brought so much joy to me I really believe Stormy sent me a healthy baby to make me smile because even though Stormy and I shared lots of love and smiles, it was even more hurt and heartbreak with her constantly sick in her short life. Now I have two wonderful yorkies who don't replace my baby who I still miss dearly, but they do help the pain.

[Mom to Hot Rod]

I will sometimes hold Hot Rod so close and tight to me and just whisper to him that he has absolutely no idea just how much I love him. We lost our 12 year cat a year before we got Hot Rod and that is why we talked about getting a dog. When we lost Rambo, it was like my heart stopped beating. I couldn't get through a day without crying my eyes out and it physically hurt to breath. within 2 months after Hot Rod coming into our lives, we lost our second cat who was 13 at the time. My hubby says that she waited until we had someone else to take care of us.

I just try to enjoy everyday with Hot Rod and Maggie May and I can only do my best to make sure that they have the best life that is possible for them. One day that pain will be here again, but until then, I try to make the best life for all of us.