...Hurt's My Heart...

[MollyAndMe]

Sooo, My Husband and I just got back from seeing a local band play at one of our downtown pub's. [great 80's cover-band, by the way ].
Anyhow, Molly stay's in our room when we leave; she usually nap's and is perfectly fine. We never leave her for long, and give her a Dental Stick and put 'Ferngully' on for her to watch. [she loves that cartoon and it's kina like a 'security blanket' for her; she knows we'll be home soon when we put that on for her.]
We were gone for about 3 hours, and when we returned, My Cousin [our roomate] said that Molly was crying SO loud that she could hear her over the T.V. She let her out of our bedroom and Molly was just running all around the apartment looking for us, then ran up to our upstairs bathroom and laid on a pair of my shoes. We've never heard her 'cry' before, and no one has ever seen her act this way........granted, Molly does have a couple of issues that are improving, this is the wrong direction. I'm glad I haven't started a new job yet, because now I don't know how it will affect her.........
She jumped straight into my arms and WOULD NOT let me put her down. She's okay right now; won't let me out of her sight as usual.
This breaks my heart. I don't want her to cry. This makes me NOT want to go ANYWHERE I can't take her.........
I don't know what to do.........
I know she's REALLY attatched to us, but I don't want her to have THAT kind of Seperation Anxiety.......Poor Baby...I can't stop thinking about how scared she must have been........I just don't know why all of a sudden she started this.......

[Wabbit]

awwww that poor baby girl!! I can see why that hurts you so much!! We don't ever want to think our babies are crying for us when we're gone...

Have you ever considered getting another small dog? That way she would never feel all alone... And would have a playmate for those times you have to leave or work...
That might be something you could consider if you ever decide or have to go back to work full time.. There are many, many small dogs that need adopting at local animal shelters....just food for thought...

I hope you figure it out... For her sake and your hearts!

[Elaine Benise]

Oh this breaks my heart!!! I think the idea of another dog is a good idea. She is lonely when her mommy isn't there!!!

[Gennies]

IMO it sounds like she has some separation anxiety. Not all dogs are happy with another doggy companion. If adding another pup is not an option for you consider getting a book on teaching your dog independence. It's like teaching a human baby to self sooth. It's like "tough love". Attention is given on your terms, not on their's.

I love watching Victoria Stillwell's training techniques on It's Me or the Dog. She has written a book: "It's Me or The Dog How to Have the Perfect Pet".

In it she covers training independence and redirecting their attention so that you are not the center of their world. If you like I'll lay out more of what she writes, but only if you're interested.

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by Wabbit

awwww that poor baby girl!! I can see why that hurts you so much!! We don't ever want to think our babies are crying for us when we're gone...

Have you ever considered getting another small dog? That way she would never feel all alone... And would have a playmate for those times you have to leave or work...
That might be something you could consider if you ever decide or have to go back to work full time.. There are many, many small dogs that need adopting at local animal shelters....just food for thought...

I hope you figure it out... For her sake and your hearts!

Hi, thanks for your reply.
Molly dosen't get along with dog's too well, especially smaller breed dog's.
There is also a Cocker Spaniel that lives with us. [our cousin's dog], and Molly is not fond of him. The only time she's okay with other dog's is at the park....and she's still not "playful" with them. She's not a "playful" dog at all!

Molly was adopted from a shelter; my Husband is an ACO. We make adoption our ONLY choice.

We have alot of reason to believe that Molly was raised with cat's, but My Husband and I are both allergic, and can't have anymore pet's in our apartment anyhow.

I'm thinking about the "Dogsitter" DVD's.......has anyone ever tried that?

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by Gennies

IMO it sounds like she has some separation anxiety. Not all dogs are happy with another doggy companion. If adding another pup is not an option for you consider getting a book on teaching your dog independence. It's like teaching a human baby to self sooth. It's like "tough love". Attention is given on your terms, not on their's.

I love watching Victoria Stillwell's training techniques on It's Me or the Dog. She has written a book: "It's Me or The Dog How to Have the Perfect Pet".

In it she covers training independence and redirecting their attention so that you are not the center of their world. If you like I'll lay out more of what she writes, but only if you're interested.

Hi!
I do think Victoria is amazing!
What tips does she have for seperation anxiety?
I don't want Molly to feel like she's being punished for missing us.....I just want her to be "okay" with it.......

[Gennies]

Originally Posted by MollyAndMe

Hi!
I do think Victoria is amazing!
What tips does she have for seperation anxiety?
I don't want Molly to feel like she's being punished for missing us.....I just want her to be "okay" with it.......

Reading her definition of seperation anxiety sounds worse then what you described. She says you can't leave your dog alone for even a minute. It howls if you take a bath and shut it on the other side of the door type of thing.

Your situation sounds like she just needs independance training....It's nothing bad. And Victoria doesn't believe in punishing dogs so don't worry about that.

She says you should do five things:

Don't respond immediately to thier demands for attention. It's on your terms. She advises that if they are demanding it ignore them. It's teaching them a simple way to imporve their social skills

If they are overly hyper when you return home, ignore him until he calms down & then reward the calmness. If he jumps again turn around and ignore again.

Make your dog work for attention by doing obedience training.

Keep your dog stimulated w/play and exercise.

Don't allow your dog to follow you where ever he wants to...like into the bathroom. Close the door behind you so he learns to have paitence.

I think it's all about teaching your dog that you are the leader and you will protect and guide them. Once they learn that they don't need to be the one protecting you they can calm into a lower status within your family.

Does that help? Hope so...see, not too bad.

I'm stepping out for a while will check on you this evening. Good Luck

[DaisyMaesMama]

:Try leaving a shoe or a piece of clothing that you have worn (so it has your smell on it) with her when you leave. That may be some comfort for her.

Good luck. That would tear my heart out too.

~Kathy

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by Gennies

Reading her definition of seperation anxiety sounds worse then what you described. She says you can't leave your dog alone for even a minute. It howls if you take a bath and shut it on the other side of the door type of thing.

Your situation sounds like she just needs independance training....It's nothing bad. And Victoria doesn't believe in punishing dogs so don't worry about that.

She says you should do five things:

Don't respond immediately to thier demands for attention. It's on your terms. She advises that if they are demanding it ignore them. It's teaching them a simple way to imporve their social skills

If they are overly hyper when you return home, ignore him until he calms down & then reward the calmness. If he jumps again turn around and ignore again.

Make your dog work for attention by doing obedience training.

Keep your dog stimulated w/play and exercise.

Don't allow your dog to follow you where ever he wants to...like into the bathroom. Close the door behind you so he learns to have paitence.

I think it's all about teaching your dog that you are the leader and you will protect and guide them. Once they learn that they don't need to be the one protecting you they can calm into a lower status within your family.

Does that help? Hope so...see, not too bad.

I'm stepping out for a while will check on you this evening. Good Luck

Thank You!
And I have noticed, that if I keep her active, she's easier to leave because she's worn out and wants a nap. lol.

[Nikki+2]

No advice, just sympathy. Honestly I'm not the greatest dog trainer. Sugar is fine left alone (no people in the house) but if I leave for very long and my daughter or husband is home, they tell me he starts this pitiful howl. I can not even imagine Sugar howling- he's never done anything remotely like that when I'm home. It does break your heart. I know he is fine as long as he doesn't have a human witness because I come and go all day when my husband is at work and my daughter is at school and when I come home he is lazily getting out of his bed to greet me and I can tell he has just been sleeping. I know the right things to do- not pay him attention when I get home right away, etc. but I just can't do it. Luckily it doesn't come up too often.

I have 2 other dogs and I really don't think they comfort each other or make anything easier on each other. If anything I think they feed off of each others weak points. Gracie was my first dog and she used to drive me crazy when I vacuumed. She'd chase it and bite at it and I was always afraid I'd accidentally hurt her. Then we got my daughter's dog, Spike. Sweetest baby ever, but afraid of everything. Now, Gracie is scared of the vacuum. Our last addition is Sugar, my baby. I got him as an adult and he didn't have any weird fears. Now after watching Spike, he gets scared when it rains. So, in my experience adding more dogs just escalates the neuroses.

[YorkieMumma]

Poor baby! I know how you feel, it's always so sad when our babies cry for us.

Have you tried some sort of flower essence? My sister uses them for her Chihuahua (who has a ton is issues), and they help her!

She uses Bach's Flower Essence - Rescue Remedy.

She also highly recommends Spirit Essences Spirit Essences - Holistic Remedies for Animals and they help too. They have one for Separation anxiety.

These remedies can help in conjuntion with training/behavior modification.

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by DaisyMaesMama

:Try leaving a shoe or a piece of clothing that you have worn (so it has your smell on it) with her when you leave. That may be some comfort for her.

Good luck. That would tear my heart out too.

~Kathy

Thanks for your reply!

Molly does love to lay on our clothes.......in fact, she get's very protective of our laundry if my cousin's cocker spaniel walk's by her. lol.

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

No advice, just sympathy. Honestly I'm not the greatest dog trainer. Sugar is fine left alone (no people in the house) but if I leave for very long and my daughter or husband is home, they tell me he starts this pitiful howl. I can not even imagine Sugar howling- he's never done anything remotely like that when I'm home. It does break your heart. I know he is fine as long as he doesn't have a human witness because I come and go all day when my husband is at work and my daughter is at school and when I come home he is lazily getting out of his bed to greet me and I can tell he has just been sleeping. I know the right things to do- not pay him attention when I get home right away, etc. but I just can't do it. Luckily it doesn't come up too often.

I have 2 other dogs and I really don't think they comfort each other or make anything easier on each other. If anything I think they feed off of each others weak points. Gracie was my first dog and she used to drive me crazy when I vacuumed. She'd chase it and bite at it and I was always afraid I'd accidentally hurt her. Then we got my daughter's dog, Spike. Sweetest baby ever, but afraid of everything. Now, Gracie is scared of the vacuum. Our last addition is Sugar, my baby. I got him as an adult and he didn't have any weird fears. Now after watching Spike, he gets scared when it rains. So, in my experience adding more dogs just escalates the neuroses.

Hey girl! Thanks for the reply!
I know what you mean about not even being able to imagine Sugar howling. I can't even picture Molly doing that! She's never done that; that I'm aware of. And previously, when we'd leave for a little while and come home, you could tell she had been sleeping, too.

I don't really know why she started that last night, but I hope it's not a usual thing now.

And I completely agree; I think dog's feed off of each other's energy! definitely.

[MollyAndMe]

Originally Posted by YorkieMumma

Poor baby! I know how you feel, it's always so sad when our babies cry for us.

Have you tried some sort of flower essence? My sister uses them for her Chihuahua (who has a ton is issues), and they help her!

She uses Bach's Flower Essence - Rescue Remedy.

She also highly recommends Spirit Essences Spirit Essences - Holistic Remedies for Animals and they help too. They have one for Separation anxiety.

These remedies can help in conjuntion with training/behavior modification.

hmm, I haven't heard of that; but I will check it out.
Thanks!

[Gennies]

You're welcome!!! I agree totally with the exercise. Barley spent 4 hours going shopping with my teenaged daughter and I today and he's currently in a deep sleep (well it is midnight) but he has been worn out since we returned at 8 ;o)

I know I wrote it quickly, and when I looked at it there's a lot on ignoring. But if you remember Victoria's technique it's just a few seconds, not minutes. SO not too bad. Good luck to you