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01-31-2009, 02:49 AM | #1 |
Bailey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NC
Posts: 1,553
| Dear Dogs and Cats I received this yesterday in an e-mail and thought you might enjoy it. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to tur n the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you d on't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'niture. 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3. Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
__________________ Shirl and Bailey |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-31-2009, 03:01 AM | #2 |
Bailey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NC
Posts: 1,553
| Btw.. while I'm on the subject of e-mail. Check out the one titled An Angel in the Post Office. I received it yesterday but it has a photo attached so I can't post it here. It's fantastic and I so hope it's true. You'll need a tissue when you read this one.
__________________ Shirl and Bailey Last edited by shirlblack; 01-31-2009 at 03:02 AM. |
01-31-2009, 05:34 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: KS
Posts: 3,289
| Cute, cute, cute! If you don't mind I'm going to copy and save this. Can't believe how I can identify with the entire reading. Thanks, Shirl. ~Joanne~
__________________ Joanne Eli ChipperEva Snowboy Rosie(R.I.P. 1996-July 29, 2013) Cocoa(R.I.P 1998-April 26, 2012): Last edited by 4doggiemama; 01-31-2009 at 05:38 AM. |
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