Help... He bit my fiance tonight

[AndiMarie]

Yorkie Parents I need your help.

I have a rescued yorkie Tobi, age 13 months. When I got him, my fiance was living with me, so he has always known Dave to be part of the package. Since the beginning, he barked at Dave when he got home or when he came into the backyard when Tobi and I were back there alone. Dave takes this personally and gets quite annoyed and tells Tobi who he is and then goes to pet him. Tobi usually backs away and then will eventually come sniff him and then everything is fine again. I have explained to Dave that Yorkies, especially rescued ones are one person pups and he might always bark at him.

Tonight, I can barely type this without crying, was absolutely terrible. After Dave and I took Tobi for a walk, I took Tobi into the backyard and Dave stayed out front to salt the icy walk. I left the gate open so Dave could join us after. Tobi did his thing and then saw the silhouette of Dave moving up the walk and he tore off barking this mean bark I hadn't heard before. Dave came towards him, annoyed that he was barking at him, Tobi barked louder, Dave went to go grab him to pick him up and Tobi started to bite his hand and screame like I have never heard a dog scream before. I watched the whole thing so I know that Dave was not hurting him. He finally picked Tobi up and the dog was shaking.

Now, from where I was standing, I can tell you it was dark outside and the streetlight created a silhouette - you couldn't see Dave's face. I want desperately to believe that this is why Tobi was so aggressive. I don't know if I am just in denial though. Dave's hand is fine. Tobi broke the skin in one small place, but did not bite deep. My other thought is, why on earth would anyone lunge at a barking dog to pick them up when they are clearly yelling "STAY BACK!!" Do you think that my fiance has some part in this too?

Do any of you have yorkies that bark at your spouses? How do you and they handle it? How worried should I be?

Thanks

P.S. I have emailed our dog trainer too.

[DukesMommy]

I know this all too well. My oldest Yorkie, Duke, is like this. When I first got him it was just me, and he would act that way with any guy who I would get involved with. Now I am married and he still gets like this with my husband, though we have been together for 3 years.
I think the biggest reason that Duke acts this way is because my dad is more or less an ass, and has treated him so badly that he has an issue with men. Duke gets really possesive especially when I am around, and if he feels threatened in the slightest, he lashes out. He has bit my father several times, and has bitten my husband breaking the skin once.

Since yours is a rescue, maybe he had an incident that made him more fearful of men. Or he just started preferring you to your fiance. With time and patience you can work on it, but if your fiance gets frustrated the dog will be able to sense it, and it will have an affect on him too.

Good luck!

[Erin]

You are right that your fiance should not have reached out to him. Tobi redirected his anxiety to him. Obviously now that you know he will bite/snap you need to keep him controlled (on leash) from now on.

Your dog is very scared. Something or someone in his pre-rescued life scared him and that is what he remembers. He was probably barking at the shadowy figure, not your fiance. I think the barking at your fiance is a separate issue and you need to work with your trainer on that (he is guarding a resource - YOU). Loki used to do it with my husband and I forget exactly what we did but it was a combo of me completely ignoring him and giving him a time out in another room when he did it and my husband rewarding him when he did not bark. Mine also bark at "scary" things like garbage cans, but I'm able to get their attention back and call them inside. Only after TONS of work was I able to do this with Loki. He is an anxious dog and he is 4 and we have worked with him consistently since he was a puppy.

Anyway, you are going to get 45 responses on this board from people who recommend Cesar Milan and think you need to show him who is boss (or alpha ) and I'm warning you, do not alpha roll your dog, do not do ANYTHING to make him more fearful than he already is. Work with your trainer (hopefully a good one) to help him become more confident and manage his fears. You will not see change overnight. You'll have to work hard to change his behavior, but you can do it. Good luck!

[AndiMarie]

Hi Erin and DukesMom,

Thanks for your replies. It makes me feel better just to know that other people have expereinced the same thing.

Erin, thanks for the heads up - so to nip this in the bud, I know Caser Milan... I know what he recommends, but I work with a trainer that recommends especially for this dog, who is quite fearful and has been timid from the get go, NOT to do the dominance, alpha dog, alpha rolls stuff. So any help along those lines will not be helpful in this situation.

I read that this barking at family members can be a yorkie thing and it is helpful to know if others experience this and how your families handle it.

Thanks.

[DukesMommy]

Originally Posted by Erin

You are right that your fiance should not have reached out to him. Tobi redirected his anxiety to him. Obviously now that you know he will bite/snap you need to keep him controlled (on leash) from now on.

Your dog is very scared. Something or someone in his pre-rescued life scared him and that is what he remembers. He was probably barking at the shadowy figure, not your fiance. I think the barking at your fiance is a separate issue and you need to work with your trainer on that (he is guarding a resource - YOU). Loki used to do it with my husband and I forget exactly what we did but it was a combo of me completely ignoring him and giving him a time out in another room when he did it and my husband rewarding him when he did not bark. Mine also bark at "scary" things like garbage cans, but I'm able to get their attention back and call them inside. Only after TONS of work was I able to do this with Loki. He is an anxious dog and he is 4 and we have worked with him consistently since he was a puppy.

Anyway, you are going to get 45 responses on this board from people who recommend Cesar Milan and think you need to show him who is boss (or alpha ) and I'm warning you, do not alpha roll your dog, do not do ANYTHING to make him more fearful than he already is. Work with your trainer (hopefully a good one) to help him become more confident and manage his fears. You will not see change overnight. You'll have to work hard to change his behavior, but you can do it. Good luck!

Good point about the alpha role! I didn't even think of that.

When my dad tries dominating over Duke it only makes it worse, and that's when he does attack at him for sure (and I don't know if this is bad on my part or not but I don't even "punish" Duke for attacking at that point because I think it is provoked, so I actually just try to calm him down) My husband had to try building trust with Duke before we could get anywhere with him.

[Erin]

Originally Posted by AndiMarie

Hi Erin and DukesMom,

Thanks for your replies. It makes me feel better just to know that other people have expereinced the same thing.

Erin, thanks for the heads up - so to nip this in the bud, I know Caser Milan... I know what he recommends, but I work with a trainer that recommends especially for this dog, who is quite fearful and has been timid from the get go, NOT to do the dominance, alpha dog, alpha rolls stuff. So any help along those lines will not be helpful in this situation.

I read that this barking at family members can be a yorkie thing and it is helpful to know if others experience this and how your families handle it.

Thanks.

I wouldn't say it's a Yorkie thing but maybe a terrier thing? Yorkies that are yappy dogs tend to be that way because their owners didn't treat them like dogs (not referring to wardrobe, etc. and we all love our dogs like kids and a coat isn't going to ruin a dog) but I mean things like feeding them from the table, letting them get away with jumping, chewing, etc. It's easier to not train a little dog because you can just pick them up and their messes are small. No one would just let their Golden pee on the floor because it's easier than getting up at night, but oddly some think little of it with Yorkies because they are so small.

Sorry... it's late and I can't sleep so you get to hear what I really think.

Anyway, some other things to help with the guarding/barking would be teaching "drop" and "leave it" Loki used to growl at me when I would take his stick or Kong (any food toy or anything food related) so I taught him "drop" and "leave it" which of course come with a MUCH better reward (or simply immediately returning the object, once they get good at it.) It took maybe a month or so of working on this for him to drop his stick from across the room. Even today I will walk over to him while he is chewing and pet him, ask him to drop the stick, pick it up and look at it, praise him and give it right back with a big "THANKS BUD!" Seriously no one wants his stupid stick, but he thinks we do, so he needs to know that even if we take it we will give it right back OR give him something better (cheese, a new stick when his gets too small, etc.) He is really smart so he even knows phrases like "no one wants your stick buddy" (I bet Tobi is smart too, the smart ones can be nervous because they remember everything.) I use "leave it" for when he is getting too interested in something, like tonight I set my bowl on the coffee table after dinner and he kept trying to sniff it. I told him to leave it BEFORE it became an issue. LOVE the leave it command Teaching them to stay while I fix their food and then a release command to eat is good too!

The anxiety is harder. You have to teach him to look to YOU for cues. Loki thinks big dogs are going to eat him so when we see a big dog I give him a super easy command (like SIT) and act like I just won the lottery. Now when he sees a big dog he looks at me like, why aren't you acting like a dork and giving me treats??? Anyway, this took years but it works. And I'm not so good about walking him every day so we only work on it like once a week in decent weather. You can get results faster if you work on it all the time.

As far as him guarding YOU, have your fiance walk into the room (hiding a treat) If you can, place Tobi on the floor if he was on the bed or couch with you so there is less to guard. If he is nice to your fiance, then he gets the treat (and attention from both of you) If he barks, say "no" or "AH AH" and remove him from the couch/bed/room calmly. He gets 5 minutes without your attention, which is what he really wants. If he behaves for his time out, then start over. If he's smart and you do it a few times he will realize that barking=time out. Then he will realize he gets a treat when your fiance comes in. You don't have to keep this up forever. We did it for like a month and then the behavior just kinda disappeared.

Some people will say they have to stop sleeping with you or sitting on the couch because you have to be "above" them, but that's a misunderstanding. I love sleeping with my dogs, so I taught Loki the "move" command since he would growl if you reached over and moved him. (if he did, again he was immediately removed from the bed for the night) But it was also kind of a respect thing. He prefers (and happily obliges) if you ask him to move, rather than just shoving him over (and waking him up). (BTW, Loki has medical issues so he was actually in pain when we touched him causing the growling. Now he is on meds that fixes the pain and the training fixed the behavior so no more issues. But you can definitely check for medical issues!) He also knows up and OFF. Off is great. If he is being obnoxious about his "spot" (like laying sideways!!!!) he is asked to get OFF and he knows what it means. He has to be invited back up. Seriously, just work with Tobi and learn how to communicate with him. Loki sleeps next to me but he knows that it is my bed and he is allowed to sleep up here if he follows the rules, but not because I yanked on his collar or yelled at him. He just gets annoyed when I ask him to get off that he stays off. It's not worth his effort There are dog beds on the floor. He's snoring away in one right now because I was disturbing him by moving around

People have tried to tell me that Loki is trying to dominate me. It's not true. You can just tell by body language. Heck, he gives in to his little 6lb sister who is half his size. He's more like a little nerd with no social skills who goes into meltdown mode a lot. We had to seriously build his confidence and teach him stuff like "It's on TV" for when a doorbell rings or a dog barks on TV. He used to completely freak out and now I just say "it's on TV" and he looks around and goes back to his nap. Just one example but these are things that help a LOT.

[Wabbit]

Since your little guy is a rescue...you have NO idea what he's gone thru before you got him.... or what abuse he may have suffered....soooooo you will need to help your fiance to understand how actions like his only makes your baby more fearful and distrustful of him. AND
Your fiance reaching out and grabbing him up while he was in a fearful state only contributed to his getting bit.

He will need reassurance that your fiance doesn't mean him any harm....and your fiance will have to learn that "man-handling" (i'm not saying he was hurting him) a fearful little guy will only escalate his terror!!!

I FIRMLY believe in CESAR MILAN...but nowhere does he say you are to DOMINATE an already fearful dog!!!! I didn't catch how long you have had him...but it's just going to take time for him to learn to trust.....and hopefully your fiance will not do things like that in the future...because it will not help to balance your little guy out. He needs love...understanding and PATIENCE....if he's ever going to get out of that state. Good luck...

[QuickSilver]

You've already gotten great advice, and I think with work everyone in your family can get along! Your dog does sound very fearful. They sure make awful sounds when they are upset, don't they? Yikes.

I am a disciple of "It's Me or the Dog". Victoria has done many shows on dogs with anxiety problems of various types, including dogs who are fearful and aggressive towards certain types of people. She does the kind of stuff discussed above -- less attention from you, calm corrections for aggression, treats from your fiance. Please help your fiance understand that it is NOT personal, obviously something from the dog's past is triggering him. Sending him into a state of panic will only exacerbate the situation. Your dog needs to learn over and over again that hey, good things happen when I'm around this human!

Anyway, I also wanted to suggest that you make sure to exercise your dog vigorously. Tired dogs don't have the energy to be anxious.