[News] Divorce Can Be Tough for Dogs

[fasteddie]

On yet another occasion I was called to attend a six year old male Yorkshire Terrier, Bobby, who had always been a good pet with a good nature. For no apparent reason Bobby was now showing severe aggression, and marking in the home. When I first took the telephone call I immediately put this down to dominant behaviour. However after a further conversation with Helen I was told that she had just divorced her husband, James, and to be fair to Bobby, James was allowed to visit Bobby on weekends to take him out for half a day.

I have heard of visiting rights for children but this was the first for me to learn of visiting rights for a dog! The husband, who I eventually met was a dominant person and as far as "Yorkshire Bobby" was concerned was the Alpha of the pack. This little Bobby was not aware of the divorce, he only knew that his "Alpha James" came for him and that he enjoyed himself. The problem was that Bobby did not consider Helen as a superior "animal" and was indeed correcting her, with aggression, and calling (howling) for his Alpha. After many hours I was able to convince Helen that matters would deteriorate and that in Helen and Bobby's best interest, the dog should go to live with James, with Helen visiting Bobby at weekends.

http://www.zongoo.com/article6982.html

[bettyeanne]

Isn't it amazing how change of any sort affects our pets? Toto really gets out of sorts with certain changes in our lifestyle. Patrick and I went to a cookout last night and since it was at a friends house who has a very large spoiled female cat and we weren't going to be gone long, we decided it would be better for Toto to stay home. Just before we left we made her all comfy in her x-pen ... all her comforts ... even cheated on her diet and gave her some pasta w/parm! She was still as devistated when we returned! I know it's our fault that she is so "clingy" but now I don't quite know what to do about it. If for some reason beyond our control she had to be seperated from one of us I feel like it would be very damaging to her! Any suggestions?

[Higgin's Mom]

One of the things I've read is NOT to make a big deal about leaving them and NOT to make a big deal about returning home, either. Pogo is the dog that has "separation anxiety" and will howl when we go. Since he has had Higgins for company, both seem to be fine. When Higgins was little, we left him for SHORT visits, still not making any fuss going or coming home. I think he has learned that we DO come back, so he doesn't seem to get upset. So, I would try just popping Toto in her x-pen without much fanfare, then go on a short trip to the store, then pop in and take her out of her x-pen with no fanfare or extra hugs when you get home. Keep us posted.

[Higgin's Mom]

My first husband and I divorced after 20 years of marriage and the CAT went into a tailspin! She wandered the house for DAYS just howling for Bob! And every time he came to see the kids, that cat came RUNNING to see him and climb all over him and lick him! And he hated that cat! Go figure.

Pogo was my second husband's dog. They were inseparable and Pogo was right by him on the bed at home when he died of cancer. When Herb's heart stopped, Pogo got down off the bed and went to his favorite place on the sofa and would not look at me for three days! Didn't eat. Wouldn't go out.
Went into such a severe depression that he had to be treated by the vet and put on antidepressants! He got another depression when we moved from our country place in the woods into a condo in town. Then he thought he was in heaven when he and I paid our first visit to Don in the woods by the lake in Maine. Now he has his "man" back and his woods, and the lake, and camping, and he is one happy pooch!

[bettyeanne]

Originally Posted by Higgin's Mom

One of the things I've read is NOT to make a big deal about leaving them and NOT to make a big deal about returning home, either. Pogo is the dog that has "separation anxiety" and will howl when we go. Since he has had Higgins for company, both seem to be fine. When Higgins was little, we left him for SHORT visits, still not making any fuss going or coming home. I think he has learned that we DO come back, so he doesn't seem to get upset. So, I would try just popping Toto in her x-pen without much fanfare, then go on a short trip to the store, then pop in and take her out of her x-pen with no fanfare or extra hugs when you get home. Keep us posted.

THANKS! We actually tried that this AM. Had appointments at eye docs very near our house so we left Toto home. Sorry .... she was so excited we couldn't resist the extra hugs when we returned and she was kissing us to death!! She does a little thing to me that makes me "putty in her paws" .... nestles her head on my shoulder and just gets really still and makes a tiny little sound. I just melt ... I think she knows it too!!

[fasteddie]

You could always setup a video camera like we did when you are gone. We just found Yoda sleeping the time away (for 60 minutes until the tape ran out)... When he was a baby, he was VERY depressed when we would leave him, now it seems that he at least accepts it, but not like he likes it or anything. When we come home and open the sliding door to the kitchen, he jumps up and licks us and his tail goes 60mph.

[bettyeanne]

Originally Posted by fasteddie

You could always setup a video camera like we did when you are gone. We just found Yoda sleeping the time away (for 60 minutes until the tape ran out)... When he was a baby, he was VERY depressed when we would leave him, now it seems that he at least accepts it, but not like he likes it or anything. When we come home and open the sliding door to the kitchen, he jumps up and licks us and his tail goes 60mph.

THANKS!! Great idea ... as I mentioned in my "Getting to know you" ... my husband worked in television but we are like the proverbial "plumbers wife" whose faucet always leaks! We have always had a video camera around "somewhere" and have very little footage of our kids! However, I think it's time to drag that new one that's seldom ever used out and try it on Toto! We often wonder what she does if we're not around! Now we can find out!! Will let you know how it turns out.

[Junebug]

This probably explains why Otis behaves so differently at Mike's house!

At my house, he's very alert, barks when someone is at the door, and is in "protective" mode.

At Mike's house, he's a lot more playful and never barks. Maybe Otis knows it's Mike's domain and he doesn't have to protect the clan.

[Junebug]

Originally Posted by fasteddie

You could always setup a video camera like we did when you are gone.

We did that, too. The second we left the house, Otis got on the phone and called his girlfriends, checked his e-mail, surfed the web, then tried to watch the dirty channel on T.V., but we had it blocked.

[bettyeanne]

Originally Posted by Junebug

We did that, too. The second we left the house, Otis got on the phone and called his girlfriends, checked his e-mail, surfed the web, then tried to watch the dirty channel on T.V., but we had it blocked.

THAT explains all the long distance calls we can't understand ... and our snacks that go missing!! No wonder Dr. Lucy put the Toto on a diet!! TOTO!! Girl .... you are soooo grounded!!!

[Higgin's Mom]

Roflmao !!!! :d :d :d

[fasteddie]

LOLOL!
Otis is the mack! But I thought he was gay? Or just gay around you and Mike? :P

[Junebug]

Originally Posted by fasteddie

LOLOL!
Otis is the mack! But I thought he was gay? Or just gay around you and Mike? :P

He is gay! The girls he's calling aren't his girlfriends....they're his fag hags! (oops, can I say that here?)

[fasteddie]

You're the moderator! Can you? :P

Heheh... it's fine, it's not directed towards any members here or any groups of people maliciously...