Need Advice On Being a Friend

[nydia]

I have been friends with Jasmine since elementary school, we met when we were both in the 5th grade and have been friends ever since. Jasmine use to be Omar, she is a transgendered individual, when we were growing up Jasmine was a boy, she was raised with her mother and grandmother no father figure around, but both her mother and grandmother were religious women and Jasmine as Omar was a good boy, she went to school and went to church, but since she was little we all knew she was going to be how she is now she never wanted to play with my brothers, she always wanted to play with my sisters and I with our barbies.

Anyway...
I come from a big strong loving family and a very open family, they welcome any and everybody, I was brought up not to judge people, you just don't know the next persons story to make judgements and that is how we were with Jasmine we just excepted her as she was. When Jasmines grandmother died, Jasmines mother had a break down and went on drugs and for Jasmines whole entire high school years she lived with us with my mother and I. We love Jasmine, she is family to us, but really to me she is my best friend, but recently we have not been in touch and that is my fault or so that is how I feel.

Jasmine recently started hanging with new people and those new people got her on drugs, I have a funny feeling she has been using coke or something stronger. Thing is Jasmine was on drugs before, when she first started her transition she couldn't handle the ridicule from outsiders and she started popping pills, I told her I didn't agree and we always ended up arguing over her drug use until eventually she went to rehab. She was okay for about 2 years, now that she has new friends she is back on drugs. I have always supported her but I don't want to be her enabler, I feel if I except her as she is now, high on drugs, without letting her know my feelings then I am enabling her to keep going, but if I do say something she won't come around or even call. I haven't heard from her in almost two weeks I ring her phone and no answer, I send her emails and no answer, I'm worried about her and that is another thing that makes me want to give up, I worry to much and what if something does happen to her, will it be my fault for not trying harder to reach her??? I already feel powerless she won't listen to me and get the help she needs and leave the people she be with alone so what do I do? do I let a friend go of over 20 years and just give up or do I hang in there and fight for her because she can't fight for herself???

[mom 4 winston]

JMO,,, hang in, be her friend. Do things with her that does not include drugs. This is a time that she really needs someone that truly loves her. I'm pretty sure she is ignoring you because she is probably feeling guilty about the drug use. You must be strong and keep communicating with her (or keep trying). You need to push (if necessary) yourself in on her life, she needs someone that is a GOOD influence. Don't give up on her !!!

[Ashley V]

Wow you are in a tough situation...

If you ignore it then you could be putting yourself in danger too...

but... if you say something, then she could get angry with you...

However, I think you should say something. I wouldn't do it to where she gets defensive, but point out facts about the dangers, tell her you love her for this reason, this reason, and this reason, but that you don't love the fact that she is doing drugs. Tell her how much you care about her and don't want her hurt in any way. Tell her that you are there to support her through rehab and will always be there for her.

I you are ever with her and she is high and going out of control, you have the right to call 911 and have her admitted. If you think she is really in need of immediate attention, I would consult a professional, get your family, and some friends and do an intervention.

She might get angry and she might not talk to you for awhile, but eventually she will wake up and realize that what you told her and did for her was best.

[yorkiemomto4]

I really wouldn't know what to tell you. I hope your friend gets the help he/she needs. You could call Steve Wilko...i think hes great at helping people.