Help

[spypeach]

Help

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I think I used to post her a long time ago, so maybe some of you will remember me. I have two Yorkie's; Gracie and Bella. We got Bella 3 years ago and things have never been that great between the two of them. But recently Gracie who is 6 has gotten more and more aggressive towards Bella. We cannot have any toys in the house because Gracie wants them all and will hurt Bella if she tries to get one. She also bites and goes after Bella if Bella barks to close to her. I think I have decided to surrender Gracie, but it's so hard because she is such a great dog in every other respect. But poor Bella is afraid of everything, she runs away from people including me and when she does try to show affection she seem real uneasy about it. I'm so torn. Does anyone know if this behavior can be stopped, or will it just get worse.

I put this originally in another thread because I couldn't figure out how to start my own. Sorry

[JeanieK]

The situation can be corrected. Gracie thinks she is the pack leader. You need to let her know that you are the boss and not her. i also have one that will try to steal and hoard toys. When i catch her doing this, I take the toy and lay it in front of me, if she goes for it, i snap at her just like she does to the other dogs. I show my teeth and i use my hand like a mouth to nip her on the neck. she is not allowed to have the toy until i hand it to her and then she has to take it very gently.

Doing that exercise will let her know that you are the boss and everything is yours.

Also, don't pick the other one up and comfort her when she is cowering, that only reinforces that behavior. Only give affection when the dog is calm.

[leipshen]

I really do believe that this can be overcome. Please try the different ideas that will submitted to you before you surrender your furbaby. I know how upsetting this is to you , however, you are the MOM. You are the boss.

Lets face it, we all adore our precious pups. We do tend to spoil them (a great deal) They inevitably get the impression that they are "the king and queen" of the home. Usually there is no extreme problems, so they experience our loving acceptance and gentle "No No" as the extent of our dissatisfaction when they 'mis behave".

Only a short time ago I got a darling "tiny" Pom Pappillon male (5 mos old). I came accross him unexpectantly. I felt compelled to purchase him because he was living in less than optimal circumstances. I was positive that "Biscuit" would be excited to have a tiny playmate, as "Leipshen" my Schnauzer is 12 ys and blind (no fun).

The two got along famously and for the first time "Biscuit " was "the big brother" . Last week I noticed that "Biscuit" was being a bit selfish with the toys. He also would push his way in between myself and "Bubby" giving extreme kisses to me trying to divert me from paying attention to "Bubby". I was gentle with 'Biscuit" always sharing the affection and explaining that "Bubby was his brother and needed love too. I have never even yelled at "Biscuit" , he is such a good boy and being a shy puppy, I have always just babied him to death. He deserves it.
Well the other night I was reading on the bed, both pups were on the bed with me. I looked up and spoke to "Biscuit" . then I gave Bubby sweet words, the next thing I know "Biscuit" walked over to "Bubby" and was all "Bowed up" like in an aggressive stance, and then he growled and snapped quickly at him and was going back again.

I immediately grabbed "Biscuit" from underneath , swiftly bringing him to my face. He yelped because I scared him and then my face was in his. I looked him in the eye, with a very angry look. (something he had never seen, ) I spoke in a very low and determined voice, and I squinted my eyes. I was holding him above me slightly and he was petrified. I said" Dont't you ever snap at Bubby again" I looked over at Bubby and back at him. I set him down , did not look at Bubby again, and told Biscuit to go lay down at the end of the bed. I continued reading. I did not coddle Bubby so as to further aggrivate the jealousy. About 15 minutes later, Biscuit slowly, tail tucked came to me. I loved him and told him he must be good to Bubby. In a few minutes they were playing again.

There have been two incidents since, however, they have never esculated because all I have to do is give Biscuit that look and speak low and he remembers and forgets. his attitude.

I am sure I will have to address the problem again, just as human children take awhile to "get it", so do our furbabies.

Good luck and be patient. JeanieK was right on about not coddling Bella when she is cowering. In fact chances are that Bella is reacting to "Your Upset reaction" when this happens , even more that to Gracie. If you show how much this upsets you, Bella will react by becoming more afraid. The next thing you know...she is more afraid of you , than of Gracie. At different times of the day, bring Bella into a room and give her focused love and reassurance, then return to normal. REMEMBER...stay calm and emotionally in control when dealing with the problem as it happens, be determined and keep eye contact with Gracie...letting her know that you will NOT stand for this behavior. YOU ARE THE LEADER OF THIS PACT.

Hope it helps
Patti

[spypeach]

This is all such great advice. I fear you are right that the problem is that Gracie does not think of me as the boss. But I have tried, when she tears into Bella I scruff her and put her on her back and look at her and tell her no, I then put her in the cage. She gets aggressive when there are toys; when they are playing outside, fence racing with the neighbors dogs; and when someone comes to the door and they all start barking. I have noticed that it's gotten worse because I think Bella is trying to fight back. The truth is I do get very nervous and upset when they start fighting, it scares the crap out of me, and I get so angry at Gracie for hurting Bella. I'm scared at this point to even introduce a toy because of the fighting I know will happen. I'm not sure honestly, that I can become the pack leader I need to be. So what I'm left with is to have a very controlled house with no toys and constant supervision in those instances that they fight. The ironic thing is that they sleep together, they snuggle and get along most of the time, as long as their is no competitive situations going on. With a more assertive mommy they could probably overcome this, but I'm not sure I'm up for the task

[jadecomputergal]

I'll take her.

[lilbumbleybees]

This is definately an issue that can be resolved. Everyone else is already giving you fabulous advice!