Our "jobs"

[eensor]

This was originally on another post that didn't get many hits, so I thought I'd share some Yorkie occupations with you. What do your Yorkies do for a living?




Scruffy (RIP) was Sargeant Scruffy aka Scruff-man, Winkie-man, Scruff-Puff, etc. He would rat out Cinder everytime she came near the little ones water bowl. He also liked to call OnStar and get directions to Super Fresh for carrots, etc.

Gracie (RIP) was a radio talk show host and always answered the phone with "Dis is Gwacie, how tan I help?" She also ran the household, the neighborhood, and generally any group in which she found herself! She loved malls, Chinese restaurants and pink leather. She never played with a toy in her life!

Miss Lexy Marie (whom you all may identify as Wexy) works for Toys R Us as a toy tester. She loves to play with toys of all kinds! She has a side job as a urine tester for Congoleum. They wanted to know how many times a floor could be peed on without wearing out. She is still working on that assignment and expecting a huge bonus in '06. Lexy, in her spare time, is learning that drywall and woodwork belong on the wall and not in your mouth. She aspires to be an all natural girl and have dreadlocks, but that is not to be. One must suffer to be beautiful at times. Often, her dreams of grandeur include turning into a "bwack Wab." Don't anyone tell her she is short and only 2 1/2 lbs. ok? We don't want to break her spirit!!
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[simonandhallie]

haha You are too funny and I am not creative enough to respond to this thread I'm trying to think and a million things are running thorugh my head. Now I'm going to be working on this all day (instead of doing my "real" work)

[rrosenberry]

[B]Bailey is actually , THEE - Pauls Body Shop... greeter... he greets everyone that comes in the door, even though he actually sleeps on the job,, he DOES get up out a dead sleep, to greet someone if the door open. THis is a highly busy and tedious job,,, BUT- someone has to do it,and he is just the DOG! HIS hours of operation are M-F - 8am to 5pm,,, his mother only wishes that he got a PAYCHECK!! maybe someday...

[Rex'z momma]

i am NOT creative, oh well here it goes.

Rex aka Wex aka Wexy Poo~Is the lady's man. he helps shy and ugly dogs get a date with a princess poodles. his worse match that he ever had to do was match a shi-t zu to a black lab. a bad habit of Rex is going after the dog he matched and giving her constant kisses. specializes in poodles and MORKIES! loves his job but is trying to end his habit of hitting on the girl dogs that he had already matched with someone

[centralnewyorki]

Originally Posted by simonandhallie

haha You are too funny and I am not creative enough to respond to this thread I'm trying to think and a million things are running thorugh my head. Now I'm going to be working on this all day (instead of doing my "real" work)

Kimberly- I would say that Simon must be, at least, a minor-league soccer star at this point, right?!

Olivia has just been promoted from rug-durability tester to livingroom chair and ottoman durability tester. Last week, she and her assistant, Theo the cat, tested the strength of the material on the underside of these items. While the material is stong enough to withstand the weight of either tester crawling up into either the chair or ottoman, it was not able to withstand the "teeth" or "nails" tests. This material was given an unsatisfactory rating by each tester. The team is now testing the amount of superflous foam and padding in each item, that doesn't actually affect the comfort of the chair. Olivia, being the hardworking employee that she is, has put in some overtime testing the strenght of the strings at the bottom of the chair. Preliminary results show that, unlike a sweater, by simply pulling on strings that you get loose, the entire chair doesn't unravel. Future results and photos will be posted on their parent company website: MomAndDadCan'tHaveAnythingNice.com.

[eensor]

Originally Posted by centralnewyorki

Kimberly- I would say that Simon must be, at least, a minor-league soccer star at this point, right?!

Olivia has just been promoted from rug-durability tester to livingroom chair and ottoman durability tester. Last week, she and her assistant, Theo the cat, tested the strength of the material on the underside of these items. While the material is stong enough to withstand the weight of either tester crawling up into either the chair or ottoman, it was not able to withstand the "teeth" or "nails" tests. This material was given an unsatisfactory rating by each tester. The team is now testing the amount of superflous foam and padding in each item, that doesn't actually affect the comfort of the chair. Olivia, being the hardworking employee that she is, has put in some overtime testing the strenght of the strings at the bottom of the chair. Preliminary results show that, unlike a sweater, by simply pulling on strings that you get loose, the entire chair doesn't unravel. Future results and photos will be posted on their parent company website: MomAndDadCan'tHaveAnythingNice.com.

Hahahahah! That is soooo funny!

[bchgirl]

Thanks for the morning laugh, centralnewyorki

At our house, we used to say...d-mn kids, can't have nothing....

[eensor]

Since Layla (black Lab) was sprung from da joint, she has been having trouble adjusting to life on the outside. As many ex-cons will attest, freedom can require a big adjustment. She has only broken parole once, and luckily got back before the cops found out. Like Martha Stewart, Layla must wear an electronic device at all times to ensure her whereabouts. Occupational therapy for Layla includes, eating any and all potted plants and their containers, strength testing the thin plastic grill cover, smearing snot on the glass back door, and generally keeping our yard resembling a war zone. Layla is still working on her kleptomania that got her in trouble in the first place. Some of Lexy's toys seem to find their way to the yard and get returned missing limbs, eyes, etc. Perhaps Layla is training for a new life as a Voodoo priestess.

Cinder (black Lab) is currently enjoying semi-retirement from her career as a security agent. The country owes a great debt to Cinder for keeping those pesky UPS people in line all these years. She also gives much needed job training to garbage men and meter readers. In her leisure time, Cinder enjoys babysitting, swimming and cookouts. Recently she became a home owner and is busy decorating and landscaping. She is available for consultation MWF 8:00 to 10:00 a.m., but never works weekends and holidays anymore. She is in high demand and appointments are recommended.

[bchgirl]

Trace is ready for employ as a four legged vacuum. This is a new position for him and he trained for one week w/ his dashaund (sp?) cousin who maintains a professional status at vacuuming. Trace's goal includes the elimination of humans ever having to sweep the kitchen floor or run the dreaded monster vacuum.

He also holds a degree in landscaping. He will happily weed or eliminate any pesky flowers in your flower beds or pots and lord knows, you can never have too many holes in the yard.

[rrosenberry]

This is all too funny, now that I read all these requirements..of these dogs,,they are pretty darn BUSY animals...
Bailey also, when not at his REAL job, does the landscaping cleanup,, pick up and any pulled weeds or twigs and limbs in the yard. Or trying to help with the sanitation dept,, as he try to help the wheels on the garbage can go a little faster when Im rolling to the curb.
ANd he also, feels the there are NEVER enough holes in the yard,, I think he might possibly be digging a pool. ..Who knows?

[bchgirl]

I forgot to add Trace is a licensed and bonded paper shredder. Important documents? Not a problem, eliminate the need for confidentiality, shredded beyond recongization in minutes flat. Should you actually require the item shredded, great fun can be had with tape and/or glue....hours of puzzle fun. This last part is provided at no additional charge

[kindness_001]

Missy is always on duty as the mouse catcher, and a great job she does. Always brings them to you. But, one day she mistaked a hamster for a mouse, man was she in trouble. also she keeps the moles outta the yard.

Bobo is the mascot for the baseball team. he lovces the games and being with nate. Shoot he loves going everywhere.

Stardustis the baglady she is always bring something into the house it looks like the city dump pop cans, straws, cups, hair ribbonsd the grands don't put up and her specitalty is shoes.

Harley is the baby, but he loves greeting people at the door. i just laugh and say his barks worse than his bite.

[fourdez]

Well, Desi (upon receiving her Phd. diploma from the University of PetSmart) has embarked on a career as " Executive Food Analyst". Her main demanding role is to pre-taste all family food consumption and determine its eligibility for distribution amoung her family unit. This hazardous assignment requires her to stand by the dinner table and stare intently at each individual, until a sample of food is given to her for analysis. Once the "all clear" is given everyone can resume their comsumption. She executes her responsibilities with enthusiasm, proffessionalizm and takes great pride in assuring the well fare of all under her charge.

[sneri13]

Mellie is a pediatrist/pedicurist. She will trim you nails as well as give a great foot wash. She has branced out into nose and throat specialist.
Her part - time job is also document shredding. No job too large or small.

Mac is currently inspector 12 for the stuff animal industry. He checks the durabilty of these critters for the international saftey board.

[centralnewyorki]

Originally Posted by sneri13

She has branced out into nose and throat specialist.

Olivia did this for a while, also. She seemed to like it. After performing the perfect through-the-nose brain-cleaning procedure on numerous occasions, Olivia felt she needed to find something new in order to challenge herself. She also dabbled in the paper shredding industry for a while, but it just wasn't for her.

On the side, she also works in waste-management, helping mommy to keep on top of her brother's litter box. Olivia feels that although it's a dirty job, someone's got to do it.