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07-08-2008, 12:04 AM | #1 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: West Chester, PA, USA
Posts: 323
| Letter to the dogs Many of you have probably already seen this. Posting it for those who haven't. Dear Dogs, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children. |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-08-2008, 02:05 AM | #2 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 138
| Very cute!! I love the Rules!! Thank you for posting it.
__________________ Buster's Mom |
07-08-2008, 04:58 AM | #3 |
..... and BLAIR'S too ...... Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,190
| ... Lol ....
__________________ I LOVE MY LIFE AS A MOMMY AND A WIFE |
07-08-2008, 05:21 AM | #4 |
YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Fairborn, OH
Posts: 345
| hilarious!! just hilarious! i especially like the part at the end about selling their children.
__________________ Mae, Kash & Milan |
07-08-2008, 05:29 AM | #6 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 765
| ahhaha. soooo cute |
07-08-2008, 05:32 AM | #7 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 662
| That is very cute. I think I am going to frame it up and teach my Hubby a thing or two! LOL
__________________ Jenni and (thanks to YT) Essie!!!! Essie's on Myspace. Add us! myspace.com/brenden_allison |
07-08-2008, 01:17 PM | #8 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: ohio
Posts: 158
| Very cute! ive never read this before, i love it.. thanks for sharing!
__________________ Proud U.S. Navy veteran! Mommy to Teddy, his cat sisters Layla and Salem and a bunch of fish |
07-08-2008, 01:23 PM | #9 |
YT Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: clifton, nj
Posts: 321
| This was hilarious! I love it! I especially love the rules for non-pet owners. I might just print that and hang it on my door...LOL
__________________ I love my angels...Bella, Missy, Feebee, Mocha |
07-08-2008, 02:00 PM | #10 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Thank you for your post - I needed a smile today! |
07-08-2008, 02:49 PM | #11 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: So. IL
Posts: 496
| cracked up at work! hilarious!
__________________ Bella-Boo member of the Pink Club-Spoiled Rotten Club-Lil Heartbreaker Club TEAM EMMA |
07-08-2008, 03:19 PM | #13 |
Forever Athena's Mommy Donating Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 806
| Oh I love the rules going to need to remember that!@
__________________ Proud Mommy Cyan Korbin Athena : Venus |
07-08-2008, 05:22 PM | #15 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Georgia
Posts: 59
| I have not been to the bathroom alone in years!! I do not know if I could manage without an audience!! It began with my children and now the "babies" have taken their place!!
__________________ Rigger and Mavrick's Mommy Momma's Boy Club Member |
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