Not Welcome

[mizzwanned]

Everytime i go to my brother's house i take my dogs with me and always feel like they are unwelcome. My brother and gf say its fine i take them and don't mind however everytime i go my brother who is not a dog lover at all, always has something negative to say. He always make remarks about how its ridiculous i buy them clothes, or treat them like babies..how they shouldn't be on the couch, they are animals and should be treated like it(sometimes i wonder how we were even raised together lol) we are so different. Today we were there with my dad and his fam, since my brother is also a new dad. We don't like to leave the dogs alone so we always make an effort to take atleast 2 with us, a couple times we take all 3 but it is stressful enough to keep them all calm in the car(my bro lives upstate) and its about a 40 min drive. It's even more stessful when my brother is making all these remarks about my dogs. I try to go there as much as i can to see my adorable neice but it's more of an uncomfortable visit when me and my dogs are the target. I'm starting to think i should just leave them home, it makes me not want to go as often and that sucks cause i do want to see my niece grow up and all the stages that she goes thru, she is now starting to crawl, she even seems like she likes the dogs, she always smiles at them but with the way my brother is i wouldn't be surprised if she grows up to hate dogs too. Do any of you have family that does not approve of you spoiling your dogs? How do you handle it?

[JonlyCajunQueen]

We love to spoil our babies too. We only bring them where we feel they are loved and wanted. Not all are dog lovers. I would not bring them if they are being complained about. My visit would be shorter. I buy my babies all sorts of clothes, toys among other things. They are our babies!!!

[Ash The Great]

ignore them?

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by JonlyCajunQueen

We love to spoil our babies too. We only bring them where we feel they are loved and wanted. Not all are dog lovers. I would not bring them if they are being complained about. My visit would be shorter. I buy my babies all sorts of clothes, toys among other things. They are our babies!!!

You're right i should leave them home and i try to sometimes but my bf always wants to take them too, we just hate leaving them home. We always atleast take one, he's less of a pain that way cause London usually just stays in my lap but even when i dont take them he still has something to say. He would randomly bring my dogs up in family conversations and talk bad about the whole treating your dogs like your kids in general. He hates the idea of it

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Ash The Great

ignore them?

umm its almost impossible to when its brought up mostly everytime i go there, it's either him or sometimes my dad even chimes in joking how if he were starving he would eat the dog(he was in the army and ate weird things) but still it makes me mad

[smartpuppiepets]

Keep bringing the doggies to visit her ... i am sure she will enjoy and get to love them as she grows.... and one thing no one will never take from her: the memories of her "auntie" and the happiness she brought in everytime she came to visit with the dogs...
Be sure to know that your niece will be the first to thank you when she grows to be old enough to do it !!!!

You have the privilege to introduce her to "unconditional dog love" !!!

[ShellKaye]

You have to respect people's feelings in their own homes. By what you have said, it sounds like your brother is not really fond of your dog's visits. My boys are my babies but I don't take them to other people's homes unless I am positive they are welcome. Many people are dog lovers, just not "inside" dog lovers. I was raised with an inside dog so I have always welcomed pets in my home. My husband was not, so I do not take my dogs to my inlaws. However, my DH takes them with him to their house all the time!! We only live about 10 miles from them and he usually stops by their house a couple of times a week. But you know how that goes, he is their "baby" so he can get away with more than I can! LOL.

Now if my brother was in MY home and got an attitude about my dogs, that would be another story!!

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by smartpuppiepets

Keep bringing the doggies to visit her ... i am sure she will enjoy and get to love them as she grows.... and one thing no one will never take from her: the memories of her "auntie" and the happiness she brought in everytime she came to visit with the dogs...
Be sure to know that your niece will be the first to thank you when she grows to be old enough to do it !!!!

You have the privilege to introduce her to "unconditional dog love" !!!

I hope she ends up loving animals like me

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by ShellKaye

You have to respect people's feelings in their own homes. By what you have said, it sounds like your brother is not really fond of your dog's visits. My boys are my babies but I don't take them to other people's homes unless I am positive they are welcome. Many people are dog lovers, just not "inside" dog lovers. I was raised with an inside dog so I have always welcomed pets in my home. My husband was not, so I do not take my dogs to my inlaws. However, my DH takes them with him to their house all the time!! We only live about 10 miles from them and he usually stops by their house a couple of times a week. But you know how that goes, he is their "baby" so he can get away with more than I can! LOL.

Now if my brother was in MY home and got an attitude about my dogs, that would be another story!!

You're totally right about that and I understand that not all ppl love dogs. However my brother grew up with me, we always had a pet in the house and he knows how much i love animals. When i was little one time he kicked my poor bird but anyway they say it's fine i take my dogs, they don't mind it at all as long as they wear their diapers, which they always do but it's just the whole him talking bad about how i treat them that bother's me. It's my business if i want to buy them clothes, or w.e. I wouldn't take my dogs to someone's house if they didn't like them either, and i don't. It's just my brother i am talking about and how he criticizes(sp.?) me and my bf for treating them like our babies. He doesn't only say stuff when i go to his house, it's when we're in other ppl's houses too, he'll bring little things up

[Epsilon]

I would continue to bring them. I think your brother is being a "brother" and probably likes seeing you get riled up. Don't let him win.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Epsilon

I would continue to bring them. I think your brother is being a "brother" and probably likes seeing you get riled up. Don't let him win.

He def. likes seeing me riled up that's for sure since i am his 'little sister' he always thinks im still a baby when we are both grown up already

[ShellKaye]

It sounds like your brother has other issues. I am not trying to arm chair shrink your relationship, but is there some sibling rivalry here? Is he using the dogs to get in an "easy" passive/aggressive shot at you. On the other hand, some people think money spent on dogs as a waste, and can't help giving their opinion on the subject. Money matters can always hit a nerve.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by ShellKaye

It sounds like your brother has other issues. I am not trying to arm chair shrink your relationship, but is there some sibling rivalry here? Is he using the dogs to get in an "easy" passive/aggressive shot at you. On the other hand, some people think money spent on dogs as a waste, and can't help giving their opinion on the subject. Money matters can always hit a nerve.

I don't think there's really any sibling rivalry. Since i am the youngest and it was just us 2 i was always babied by our parents but we are both treated equal. I think a lot of times he says stuff about the dogs just to get at me, atleast it seems like it. I don't even do anything, but it seems he does it the most when people are around, like when he has company like my dad and family, etc. His ex gf had a Yorkie and to him omg he was the best dog in the world and he loved him, and other ppl's dogs but then my dogs it like stops there. im like that's not fair I really think he says things to make me mad or something. His fiance's sister has a chihuahua that she takes everywhere with her, and when she's over he will let him walk all over his couch, on the pillows, everything but there's no way my dogs could do that. Not that i ever let them cause i know he doesn't like it and even though they are so clean, just cause theyre mine he says something but if it's his friend or someone else he doesn't mind

[ShellKaye]

I know it is hard, but like someone else here said, you just have to ignore him. If he is doing it to just to get to you, and you react, then he will keep doing it because you are giving him the reaction he wants. I know people who have personalities like this. They can usually dish it out but can't take it!! I have a big brother too, so I can sympathize, LOL!!! You gotta love 'em.

[LittleMansMomma]

Yep, I sure do! My FIL makes such comments about me dressing Little Man. He is a dog lover though. He really don't make comments except when he sees Little Man and he's dressed. I just really ignore the comments. He has his opinions, but that's all he has. He don't take care of Little Man, I do.

Now, I do have an Aunt and she lives with my cousin and they have a yorkie. I normally don't go for a visit with Little Man. But when we have really serve storms, Little Man and I use go down to their house. She makes comments like, "Oh I just can't breathe. Larissa, you need to take Little Man downstairs." I take him downstairs and we (Little Man & I) hang out down there while we are there. I'll go up to get something to drink and she'll say, "I'm sorry Larissa, but he's shedding like crazy and its making my asthma act up." The only thing I say is, "It's okay, I understand." and I let it go at that. Then, I go back downstairs and be with my Little Man and watch the weather. While everyone including their yorkie are upstairs.

I love my aunt, and she's the one that invites us (Little Man & I) to come over when it storms. But after 3 times of not feeling welcome and her comments about Little Man all the while holding their yorkie. I just quit going over there when it storms. I now stay home, watch the weather, and do alot of praying. I have my "storm" room ready at all times and everything I need in that room, so when I need to take shelter all I gotta do is grab up Little Man and go hide and keep praying that Little Man and I will stay safe.

All in all if something is said about my baby, I'll say something at first, just to defend myself and Little Man. If it continues, I'll either ignore it or exclude me and Little Man from the situation, and that includes some family functions. But most of my and hubby's family don't mind if Little Man is with us. They do love him and think he's the sweetest baby there is.