A little concerned - YorkieTalk.com Forums

kathrynS · 12-28-2007, 06:35 AM

Just wondering if anyone has heard from Dena and how she was doing over the loss of natalie. I wish she would come on so she can talk to us and we can help her through it some.

jp4m2 · 12-28-2007, 06:41 AM

Oh my!....I haven't been on for a while, I had no idea this had happened...The last I heard little Natalie was doing so well....This is so sad, that poor little baby....

kathrynS · 12-28-2007, 07:09 AM

So sorry, I just came across this from Deana, I put it here so everyone could see.

It is still with such a heavy heart, I sit here this evening..... but I needed so badly to acknowledge the kindness and compassionate words you all have shared with me.

Please forgive my not yet responding to individual PM's and emails... I've just not had the strength to put my feelings into written words.

So many of you have become the dearest of friends to me, even with never having met - and I can't tell you how comforting it is to have this "safe place" to grieve for the loss of my angel.

Unfortunately, I have not handled Natalie's passing well at all. I have become physically ill - throwing up almost constantly over the 24 hours following the loss of my little girl, I had become dehydrated... and evidently my nerves have completely left me - as I had to make a run to the emergency room yesterday for an epinephrine shot to control the massive outbreak of hives over EVERY inch of my body... (which didn't help much, as I'm still red welts from head to toe) and an 2 bags of IV fluids, along with Phenergan to control the nausea and a script for some kind of "muscle relaxers".

I haven't slept - eaten - or even gotten out of my pj's since I lost her. My eyes have swollen almost shut three times with a combination of the hives and the tears....

It has just been so hard for me to accept that she's gone.... she was doing so well and I suppose I had convinced myself that I would have yet, many beautiful years to care for her.

I still don't know what happened..... and I'm sure that's the one of the hardest parts... the "not knowing" and the "If only I had..." and just the sheer guilt of not being with her to prevent whatever it was that took her from me.

I rarely spend a moment away from her, but the weather has been so bad and with holiday chaos to endure, I just felt it best that she stay at home whenever I had to go out this past week.

We had taken the kids to their dad's for the Christmas break from school.... (so thankfully, they were not here when Natalie passed.... I've yet to tell them - - I don't know how I will.... )

Having been in her playpen while we were gone - tucked in with her little Snuggle-Safe heat disc, wearing her pj's, and having eaten her dinner like the piglet she had recently become... I can't imagine what could have gone wrong! She had her albuteral inhaler in the morning and wasn't due for it again until 10pm.

She had still been having a few "attacks" with regard to her breathing, but had learned to "comfort and calm herself" through them.... she'd rest a little longer than normal after each one, but then would be back to bouncing around in no time.

By the time I got to her, she was lifeless - with only the shallowest of breath to sustain her. I of course, LOST IT.... running around with her in my arms, crying hysterically and gathering myself to get her to the ER..... we never made it to the door.

Though it was only a few brief moments before she let go.... it was hours before I could bear to put her down.

Thinking back on it, I must have looked like crazed fool..... crying... and rocking her.... whispering to her..... ugh, it was the worst heartache I have EVER experienced in my life.... it has yet to leave me....

Being Christmas night, it would be the next morning before we could get my precious girl to the Pet Memorial Gardens for cremation, where she lies at this moment..... needless to say, my mind was wild knowing that her tiny little body would be with me for so long - and when I finally put her down, I couldn't again touch her.... I didn't dare....

I curled her up in her best pink satin-lined cuddle blanket.... put her tiny little pink stuffed puppy in her arms and under her chin (like she always slept with it) and tucked her into one of the Christmas boxes she had opened - that was full of gifts just that very morning.... The box is covered in teddy bears and snowflakes..... she looked like she was sleeping and I can't tell you how very hard I prayed and prayed to God, that she would wake up......

This morning I took down her playpen.... put her clothes and toys away.... and cried some more.

I'd sit down to respond to this thread..... then read some of the loving words you all have written.... or receive an email or PM...... and cry some more...... not able to respond.

In the mail yesterday, came the YT calendar..... with Natalie's picture - and all of the beautiful faces I have come to adore here on YT..................... again, I cried for my baby....

Today in the mail...... Natalie's satin nighties from Des at GoFetch.... and her dresses from Shana at Tinkerbell's Closet....................... more crying.
(And Shana, I so wanted to wish you and precious Tess all the best and a Happy Birthday to your sweet darling! - - Even in all of this, know that I was praying and checking the board for news of an easy delivery and a healthy little girl.... congratulations to you all!!)

I'm not sure how I'm feeling tonight........... I'm still angry.... empty.... and quite lost without her....

Gracie, Cessy and the others are upset with me.... and I know it's awful, but I can't bear to comfort them.... I'm thankful that they have each other right now.

I've lost pets in my life.... even family and friends.... as I'm sure all of you have shared the same ...................... I can't explain why my heart is feeling so many more emotions with the loss of sweet Natalie, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it.

"Time heals".... I know...... so I suppose.... I'll wait....... until then.... I'll cry some more.

Thank you all for being out there, for understanding and appreciating what has to be - - and for knowing that "this too, shall pass".................... I pray that it does so quickly....

I am trying to occupy myself with a video memorial to Natalie.... it's rather lengthy and you've all likely seen most of the images before.... but it will comfort me to share it.

I'll put it here when I finish, if I can... otherwise, in the video thread.

Much love my friends....................... hold those little fur-angels a little closer tonight!

Nikki+2 · 12-28-2007, 07:54 AM

OMG I had no idea anything had happened. That was absolutely heartbreaking to read. I am so so sorry for Dena's lost and will pray for her.

laurenr · 12-28-2007, 08:51 AM

I only found out about little Nat yesterday (my computer crashed Christmas day),and was horrified and saddened beyond words. I emailed Dena immediately, but have not heard back from her yet. I am VERY concerned about her; she fought so hard to save this baby's life, and she had been so encouraged last week because of the weight gain. Natalie seemed to be gaining strength, not deteriorating at all, so it must have come as such a horrendous shock to Dena. I also wish she would come online and let us know how she is doing. She does not mention whether anyone was with her when Nat passed away, I just pray to God she was not alone. I am so heartbroken for her. She had sent my Mango the cutest toys for Christmas, beautifully wrapped, with a delightful picture of Mango on the front. Dena is so thoughtful, so caring and I wish I had a way to ease her pain.

Lauren

JPop & Taz 2 · 12-28-2007, 12:14 PM

I'm so sad to hear this!

I just read Denna's message, and people must think I'm crazy; sitting here at my desk crying like a baby. Wish I was home so I could love up on my babies. I'm so sorry this had to happen.

scrapindee · 12-28-2007, 12:26 PM

I just read this too. I am so sorry for Deena and for the loss of Natalie. It will be one day at a time for Deena for a while. My prayers and good thoughts to her.

littlewhip · 12-28-2007, 12:30 PM

She is taking this extremly hard

i cant even imagine how she feels, she loved that little girl so much, it will be awhile before she can talk about it, she does know everyone is here for her.. I still cry thinking about her

sweetheartsok · 12-28-2007, 04:26 PM

This is the first I heard of this also. I was so happy when I saw the last post on how Natalie had gained weight. Poor Dena...I am so sorry for your loss and pray that God will fill the void in your heart. Hugs to you. God bless you for loving little Natalie the way you did and how happy you made her while she was with you. You're an angel.

peanut · 12-28-2007, 04:35 PM

I am so sorry, I thought she was doing some much better also, Dena big hugs and just know your in my prayers and thoughts, Rest in Peace sweet little angel Natalie

Amy81 · 12-28-2007, 04:36 PM

Ms. Dena,

I am just now seeing this and I am sooo very sorry to hear that precious Natalie passed.. I too have been down that road when mine & mom's female passed with CT. So I for one can say I know exactly how you feel.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know I don't live close but if there's anything at all I can do . please don't hesitate to ask!

Cody James wanted me to tell you he sends kisses and he will be keeping you in his doggie prayers.

R.I.P. sweet baby natalie.

we all are going to miss you

12-28-2007, 06:35 AM	#1
kathrynS Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: MA Posts: 726	A little concerned Just wondering if anyone has heard from Dena and how she was doing over the loss of natalie. I wish she would come on so she can talk to us and we can help her through it some.

12-28-2007, 06:41 AM	#2
jp4m2 Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys Posts: 5,056	Oh my!....I haven't been on for a while, I had no idea this had happened...The last I heard little Natalie was doing so well....This is so sad, that poor little baby.... __________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too..

12-28-2007, 07:54 AM	#4
Nikki+2 I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 7,373	OMG I had no idea anything had happened. That was absolutely heartbreaking to read. I am so so sorry for Dena's lost and will pray for her. __________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226

12-28-2007, 08:51 AM	#5
laurenr Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Orange County, California Posts: 2,161	I only found out about little Nat yesterday (my computer crashed Christmas day),and was horrified and saddened beyond words. I emailed Dena immediately, but have not heard back from her yet. I am VERY concerned about her; she fought so hard to save this baby's life, and she had been so encouraged last week because of the weight gain. Natalie seemed to be gaining strength, not deteriorating at all, so it must have come as such a horrendous shock to Dena. I also wish she would come online and let us know how she is doing. She does not mention whether anyone was with her when Nat passed away, I just pray to God she was not alone. I am so heartbroken for her. She had sent my Mango the cutest toys for Christmas, beautifully wrapped, with a delightful picture of Mango on the front. Dena is so thoughtful, so caring and I wish I had a way to ease her pain. Lauren __________________ Besotted Mama to Magical Mango and Granny Spanky & li'l Zsa Zsa- their Yorkie paw-prints cover my heart.

12-28-2007, 12:14 PM	#6
JPop & Taz 2 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: LA Posts: 989	I'm so sad to hear this! I just read Denna's message, and people must think I'm crazy; sitting here at my desk crying like a baby. Wish I was home so I could love up on my babies. I'm so sorry this had to happen. __________________ Linda, owned by JPop, Taz, TJ, Halo, my "Lil Deuce Coupe", and my angel Tia

12-28-2007, 07:09 AM	#3
kathrynS Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: MA Posts: 726	So sorry, I just came across this from Deana, I put it here so everyone could see. It is still with such a heavy heart, I sit here this evening..... but I needed so badly to acknowledge the kindness and compassionate words you all have shared with me. Please forgive my not yet responding to individual PM's and emails... I've just not had the strength to put my feelings into written words. So many of you have become the dearest of friends to me, even with never having met - and I can't tell you how comforting it is to have this "safe place" to grieve for the loss of my angel. Unfortunately, I have not handled Natalie's passing well at all. I have become physically ill - throwing up almost constantly over the 24 hours following the loss of my little girl, I had become dehydrated... and evidently my nerves have completely left me - as I had to make a run to the emergency room yesterday for an epinephrine shot to control the massive outbreak of hives over EVERY inch of my body... (which didn't help much, as I'm still red welts from head to toe) and an 2 bags of IV fluids, along with Phenergan to control the nausea and a script for some kind of "muscle relaxers". I haven't slept - eaten - or even gotten out of my pj's since I lost her. My eyes have swollen almost shut three times with a combination of the hives and the tears.... It has just been so hard for me to accept that she's gone.... she was doing so well and I suppose I had convinced myself that I would have yet, many beautiful years to care for her. I still don't know what happened..... and I'm sure that's the one of the hardest parts... the "not knowing" and the "If only I had..." and just the sheer guilt of not being with her to prevent whatever it was that took her from me. I rarely spend a moment away from her, but the weather has been so bad and with holiday chaos to endure, I just felt it best that she stay at home whenever I had to go out this past week. We had taken the kids to their dad's for the Christmas break from school.... (so thankfully, they were not here when Natalie passed.... I've yet to tell them - - I don't know how I will.... ) Having been in her playpen while we were gone - tucked in with her little Snuggle-Safe heat disc, wearing her pj's, and having eaten her dinner like the piglet she had recently become... I can't imagine what could have gone wrong! She had her albuteral inhaler in the morning and wasn't due for it again until 10pm. She had still been having a few "attacks" with regard to her breathing, but had learned to "comfort and calm herself" through them.... she'd rest a little longer than normal after each one, but then would be back to bouncing around in no time. By the time I got to her, she was lifeless - with only the shallowest of breath to sustain her. I of course, LOST IT.... running around with her in my arms, crying hysterically and gathering myself to get her to the ER..... we never made it to the door. Though it was only a few brief moments before she let go.... it was hours before I could bear to put her down. Thinking back on it, I must have looked like crazed fool..... crying... and rocking her.... whispering to her..... ugh, it was the worst heartache I have EVER experienced in my life.... it has yet to leave me.... Being Christmas night, it would be the next morning before we could get my precious girl to the Pet Memorial Gardens for cremation, where she lies at this moment..... needless to say, my mind was wild knowing that her tiny little body would be with me for so long - and when I finally put her down, I couldn't again touch her.... I didn't dare.... I curled her up in her best pink satin-lined cuddle blanket.... put her tiny little pink stuffed puppy in her arms and under her chin (like she always slept with it) and tucked her into one of the Christmas boxes she had opened - that was full of gifts just that very morning.... The box is covered in teddy bears and snowflakes..... she looked like she was sleeping and I can't tell you how very hard I prayed and prayed to God, that she would wake up...... This morning I took down her playpen.... put her clothes and toys away.... and cried some more. I'd sit down to respond to this thread..... then read some of the loving words you all have written.... or receive an email or PM...... and cry some more...... not able to respond. In the mail yesterday, came the YT calendar..... with Natalie's picture - and all of the beautiful faces I have come to adore here on YT..................... again, I cried for my baby.... Today in the mail...... Natalie's satin nighties from Des at GoFetch.... and her dresses from Shana at Tinkerbell's Closet....................... more crying. (And Shana, I so wanted to wish you and precious Tess all the best and a Happy Birthday to your sweet darling! - - Even in all of this, know that I was praying and checking the board for news of an easy delivery and a healthy little girl.... congratulations to you all!!) I'm not sure how I'm feeling tonight........... I'm still angry.... empty.... and quite lost without her.... Gracie, Cessy and the others are upset with me.... and I know it's awful, but I can't bear to comfort them.... I'm thankful that they have each other right now. I've lost pets in my life.... even family and friends.... as I'm sure all of you have shared the same ...................... I can't explain why my heart is feeling so many more emotions with the loss of sweet Natalie, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it. "Time heals".... I know...... so I suppose.... I'll wait....... until then.... I'll cry some more. Thank you all for being out there, for understanding and appreciating what has to be - - and for knowing that "this too, shall pass".................... I pray that it does so quickly.... I am trying to occupy myself with a video memorial to Natalie.... it's rather lengthy and you've all likely seen most of the images before.... but it will comfort me to share it. I'll put it here when I finish, if I can... otherwise, in the video thread. Much love my friends....................... hold those little fur-angels a little closer tonight!

12-28-2007, 12:26 PM	#7
scrapindee Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Redlands Posts: 4,842 Blog Entries: 2	I just read this too. I am so sorry for Deena and for the loss of Natalie. It will be one day at a time for Deena for a while. My prayers and good thoughts to her. __________________ Scrapindee--Team Furry & the Biewers www.houseofwags.com

12-28-2007, 12:30 PM	#8
littlewhip Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: wiith my furbabys Posts: 8,874	She is taking this extremly hard i cant even imagine how she feels, she loved that little girl so much, it will be awhile before she can talk about it, she does know everyone is here for her.. I still cry thinking about her __________________

12-28-2007, 04:26 PM	#9
sweetheartsok YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 626	This is the first I heard of this also. I was so happy when I saw the last post on how Natalie had gained weight. Poor Dena...I am so sorry for your loss and pray that God will fill the void in your heart. Hugs to you. God bless you for loving little Natalie the way you did and how happy you made her while she was with you. You're an angel. __________________ ~Mary~ Mommy to Mindy 1 Years Old and Bear I Years Old "Proud Member of the Little Gentlemen's Club "

12-28-2007, 04:35 PM	#10
peanut Dogs Rule Cats Drool! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 7,895	I am so sorry, I thought she was doing some much better also, Dena big hugs and just know your in my prayers and thoughts, Rest in Peace sweet little angel Natalie __________________ KIM

12-28-2007, 04:36 PM	#11
Amy81 No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Palatka, Florida Posts: 6,523	Ms. Dena, I am just now seeing this and I am sooo very sorry to hear that precious Natalie passed.. I too have been down that road when mine & mom's female passed with CT. So I for one can say I know exactly how you feel. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know I don't live close but if there's anything at all I can do . please don't hesitate to ask! Cody James wanted me to tell you he sends kisses and he will be keeping you in his doggie prayers. R.I.P. sweet baby natalie. we all are going to miss you