Horrible Separation Anxiety!!! HELP PLEASE!! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

evil_soma · 02-28-2007, 10:32 AM

Ok, ive posted before but didnt really get a response. Here's my problem, like the title says, my yorkie, soma, has HORRIBLE separation anxiety. I mean if there was a worse word i would use it. He pants, paces, barks, whines, jumps up the walls, he climbs up onto things and just now he almost fell 3 feel after jumping on this bed, then onto a big pillow, then on to a window sill all in an attempt to get to me! I had to run in there and grab him and move everything away from the window.

Now why is he so close you may say? well, i work at this place called the heavenly pet resort and employees can bring there dogs for free, so i bring him. He had a 10 by 10 foot area to run around it, a radio and a tv going and even a little chihuahua to play with, but he still whines and whines and whines. I wish he would just calm down while i work but he just keeps on freaking out ALL DAY! im worried he's going to hurt himself trying to get out which he has done before. even now he's clawing at the walls and trying his hardest to get to the window again. He as destroyed things, chewed on wooden doors and fallen after climbing to try to get over things to me.

I really just want him to be able to relax so someone, please help me out.

Lexi Rae · 02-28-2007, 10:49 AM

im sorry your having this problem with him, i cant help you, but i will
bump this up for you. good luck

marcerella02 · 02-28-2007, 10:52 AM

been there! stressful isn't it.. it used to just break my heart... but layla overcame it! how old is your little guy? Layla was a nut when i left her up until she was about 10 months... and something just happened it seemed.. but we used to wean her... i'm not sure if you are in the position to do the same.. but we'd leave the house for about 20 min. then come back... layla was not kept in an x-pen because she used to try and get out of it! she has run of the house and woudl just sit on the steps and wait... then i'd come back.. not making a big deal.. hand her a treat and move on . she used to follow me around but i never picked her up... we moved the time to 25 min then 30 min... someone said dogs can't judge time beyond 20 min.. but they havn't met layla! lol.. now when i am home she generally wants to be where i am.. but that is typicall of yorkies.. but i can go shower... outside and shovel the driveway.. pretty much anything and she knows that i am coming back.

evil_soma · 02-28-2007, 10:53 AM

thanks, i hope i can find some way to help him soon, its really hard to see him when he goes into his fits...

evil_soma · 02-28-2007, 10:57 AM

he's one year and one month, he wasnt always this bad, i mean he would whine for a while then calm down, but now its constant, ill add a pic of where he's staying, its a big area so its not like he feels closed in and he can still see me from where he is, the picture was taken about 5 feet away from my work area.

BlondieGirl87 · 02-28-2007, 11:13 AM

I can totally relate to your problem!
Jaden has the worst seperation anxiety! I can't even go into the bathroom for two minutes with the door shut without him spinning in circles, crying and barking.

I've tried everything, every homeopathic thing out there, Rescue Remedy, Calm Ease, and about 5 other things, none of which did anything for him. It's gotten progressively worse, he works himself up into a frenzy and if I have to leave him when I come home he's panting, his heart is racing and he is SUPER hyper for me to be home. I used to put him in his crate but his newest thing is he's started defacating due to his anxiety when I leave. The last time I left him in his crate and stepped outside for 20 minutes, when I came back in he had deficated in his crate and covered himself in it

It is the most frustrating thing and it has gotten to the point where I have to take him with me just about everywhere.

I don't mind bringing him along but I just wish he wasn't so attached and could enjoy life without me for 10 minutes. I talked with a behaviorist and he suggested a bunch of differen things. Stepping outside for thirty seconds and coming back then increasing it to longer periods of time, giving him something entertaining to play with, something tasty to chew on, leaving music on, leaving a tape on with my voice on it....so far nothing has worked

I even got him a new baby sister this past December to keep him company for the few hours a week I have to be gone and up to this point, even that doesn't seem to be helping all that much. I am going to speak with another beahviorist, supposed to be an expert in his field and we are driving 6 hours to speak with him. I am hoping maybe he can shed some light on this, I hate to drug him so I've been trying everything else first, however, if nothing else works I suppose I will have to look into prescription drugs and see if I can find something that is not harmful that would help him to live a calmer life for the few hours I am away...

Please keep in touch and let us know how your little one is doing. I know I don't have a lot of advice to give to help you but wanted to let you know that you're not the only one going through this.

Hugs,
Joy

evil_soma · 02-28-2007, 11:20 AM

thanks you, i will keep in touch. I dont want to turn to medication either. Ive even thought about submitting to be on the dog whisperer

. And I know what you mean about taking him everywhere, i do that too. i mean i guess the one good thing is when he's in his crate he WILL NOT poop or pee, no matter how much he has to go, but i also go to school and if i left him in his crate while i went to work it would mean he would only see me a couple hours a day. but he still stresses out in his crate and has destroyed part of the towel over his crate and to my surprise i came home and found a big hole in a shoe box i had left to close...its frustrating.

My mom is home most of the time but refuses to let him out when she's there, she use to but now she wont at all. unlike me she doesnt like dogs and she does like soma but will not watch him for me...it makes it even more frustrating...

but ya, keep in touch with me. that way if i find something i can tell you and if you find something you can help me

BlondieGirl87 · 02-28-2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evil_soma

thanks you, i will keep in touch. I dont want to turn to medication either. Ive even thought about submitting to be on the dog whisperer

. And I know what you mean about taking him everywhere, i do that too. i mean i guess the one good thing is when he's in his crate he WILL NOT poop or pee, no matter how much he has to go, but i also go to school and if i left him in his crate while i went to work it would mean he would only see me a couple hours a day. but he still stresses out in his crate and has destroyed part of the towel over his crate and to my surprise i came home and found a big hole in a shoe box i had left to close...its frustrating.

My mom is home most of the time but refuses to let him out when she's there, she use to but now she wont at all. unlike me she doesnt like dogs and she does like soma but will not watch him for me...it makes it even more frustrating...

but ya, keep in touch with me. that way if i find something i can tell you and if you find something you can help me

Absolutely, I'll let you know what the behaviorist has to say, maybe he'll be able to shed some light on something for both of us!

mmn000 · 03-01-2007, 06:40 PM

You've probably tried this, but Kong toys frozen with peanut butter in them can help. Also, the Everlasting Treat Ball keeps mine busy for a while. dog.com sells them fairly cheap.

pip'smom · 03-01-2007, 08:00 PM

In the book, "The Dog Listener" Jan Fennell addresses this issue. She explains it as the dog feels like it's alpha, making it responsible for the pack. The dog is usually made to feel it's alpha by our actions toward, by all the love and attention we give it, catering to it's every whim. Feeding, playing, loving on demand. When you leave with out the dog, it can't see you and know you're ok, so it's stressed. Kinda like your child walking out of the house, and you not knowing what's on the other side of the door, you'd worry, too! If you were in the alpha position, the dog would accept that you come and go as you want, the alpha does what it wants, the other pack members accept it as normal and not to be questioned.

When I leave in the morning, I pick up my purse and walk out the door. I don't hug Pip one last time, I don't tell her good bye, I don't give her all kinds of treats and toys. She already has toys to occupy her. I don't make a production out of it. She doesn't bark and carry on, I know because I've stood outside the door for at least 15 minutes listening on several occasions. When I come home, I walk in, and she's dancing all around my feet begging for me to notice her. I put my stuff down, kick off my shoes, greet my husband, take care of what ever business I need to do, and I don't make eye contact with Pip at all. After about one minute, she calms down, and sits quietly. When she does, I look down and notice her, and reach down and pick her up and give her hugs and kisses. She accepts her place in the pack and it happy with it, and she's a much nicer baby to be around.

To some, my actions would seem mean but I don't really think dogs think in terms like that. In their own packs, there's no feelings such as mean, nice, being polite, etc. There's your's, mine, alpha, and then all the other members of the pack. To regain control and to put yourself back in the alpha position will only be 'mean' to you, but the dog will adjust and accept. That's what they do, tho their personality's might dictate how quickly they learn their new status.

I could go on and on about these methods, Pip is the second dog I've trained using them, and believe me, they work! I'm by no means an expert on the subject but the book will help you understand a lot of why the dog acts the way it does. Sorry to ramble on so much.....

FirstYorkie · 03-02-2007, 09:13 AM

Perhaps Soma would be better off at home?

celstu1 · 03-02-2007, 01:22 PM

My boys had it sooooo bad! They dug a hole in the kitchen wall ... like they tried to get out of the house to come after me! I would hear them HOWL like crazy when I left. It broke my heart everyday! I finally took away their ability to see me when I was leaving! Left them a bed with a sweater of mine in it as a blanket. They are doing much better now! I repaired the wall and they have not redug it. (they redug it once when I fixed it). I also ignore them when Im leaving now, and when I get home I put away my things first, I let them calm down a bit before I let them out of the kitchen. This seems to work pretty well for when I go to work. But when I leave to go out (not to work) I can still hear them howl sometimes! Its very very sad! My heart breaks, but they need to learn that they cannot come with me everywhere.

red98vett · 03-02-2007, 01:38 PM

I'm unsure of what to say but is there a way where he can be there with you but NOT see you ??

He'd calm down if he couldn't I bet...My girls are the same way and it's my fault for being with them so much ...but once I'm out of site completely they calm down and just wait for me.....poor baby...he does look like he's trying really hard to get out

that's why groomers dont want people being there when their pets are being done - if your pet can actually see you it adds to their stress and they think of only trying to get to you. If you're out of site...he won't have anything to strive for and maybe will relax

jlyn · 03-02-2007, 02:20 PM

Wow, You do have some work to do with your little boy!!!

pip'smom hit the nail right on the head!!!!!!! You must regain control of the pack. It might seem painful at first, but for your sanity and your babys health , you should really try.

If you can read some behavior material, as was suggested, you will get alot of information. Or you might sign up for a class with your little man so you can learn how to regain your position.

It's soooo hard to be "tough" on our kids, but they expect us to be the leader and believe it or not, life is easier for your pup if he feels secure that you are his trusted leader.

Best of luck.

mmn000 · 03-02-2007, 04:06 PM

Yes, I agree, Pip's mom is exactly right. I've been working with a dog trainer for several months and it's taken me a while to feel OK about ignoring them when they are in an excited state, but we're all getting used to it. It helped me when the dog trainer said what Pip's mom said. The dog's feelings don't get "hurt" if you ignore them. They have to learn that they are not the center of your world. So now I take the "nothing in life is free approach" whenever I feed them or even give them water, or anything, I make them sit for me. I won't let them sleep in my bed at night either. That took them a long time to get used to, but they're fine with it now. They're like kids -- they want limits put on them b/c it makes them feel more relaxed. Like they don't have to be the leader.

02-28-2007, 10:32 AM	#1
evil_soma Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: whittier Posts: 44	Horrible Separation Anxiety!!! HELP PLEASE!! Ok, ive posted before but didnt really get a response. Here's my problem, like the title says, my yorkie, soma, has HORRIBLE separation anxiety. I mean if there was a worse word i would use it. He pants, paces, barks, whines, jumps up the walls, he climbs up onto things and just now he almost fell 3 feel after jumping on this bed, then onto a big pillow, then on to a window sill all in an attempt to get to me! I had to run in there and grab him and move everything away from the window. Now why is he so close you may say? well, i work at this place called the heavenly pet resort and employees can bring there dogs for free, so i bring him. He had a 10 by 10 foot area to run around it, a radio and a tv going and even a little chihuahua to play with, but he still whines and whines and whines. I wish he would just calm down while i work but he just keeps on freaking out ALL DAY! im worried he's going to hurt himself trying to get out which he has done before. even now he's clawing at the walls and trying his hardest to get to the window again. He as destroyed things, chewed on wooden doors and fallen after climbing to try to get over things to me. I really just want him to be able to relax so someone, please help me out.

02-28-2007, 10:49 AM	#2
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	im sorry your having this problem with him, i cant help you, but i will bump this up for you. good luck __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

02-28-2007, 10:52 AM	#3
marcerella02 Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 11,257	been there! stressful isn't it.. it used to just break my heart... but layla overcame it! how old is your little guy? Layla was a nut when i left her up until she was about 10 months... and something just happened it seemed.. but we used to wean her... i'm not sure if you are in the position to do the same.. but we'd leave the house for about 20 min. then come back... layla was not kept in an x-pen because she used to try and get out of it! she has run of the house and woudl just sit on the steps and wait... then i'd come back.. not making a big deal.. hand her a treat and move on . she used to follow me around but i never picked her up... we moved the time to 25 min then 30 min... someone said dogs can't judge time beyond 20 min.. but they havn't met layla! lol.. now when i am home she generally wants to be where i am.. but that is typicall of yorkies.. but i can go shower... outside and shovel the driveway.. pretty much anything and she knows that i am coming back. __________________ http://misscanam.blogspot.com/ Layla 's Simon

03-02-2007, 09:13 AM	#11
FirstYorkie YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: American in London Posts: 1,739	Perhaps Soma would be better off at home? __________________ FirstYorkie We Love Clicker-Training!

03-02-2007, 01:38 PM	#13
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I'm unsure of what to say but is there a way where he can be there with you but NOT see you ?? He'd calm down if he couldn't I bet...My girls are the same way and it's my fault for being with them so much ...but once I'm out of site completely they calm down and just wait for me.....poor baby...he does look like he's trying really hard to get out that's why groomers dont want people being there when their pets are being done - if your pet can actually see you it adds to their stress and they think of only trying to get to you. If you're out of site...he won't have anything to strive for and maybe will relax __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

02-28-2007, 10:53 AM	#4
evil_soma Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: whittier Posts: 44	thanks, i hope i can find some way to help him soon, its really hard to see him when he goes into his fits...

02-28-2007, 11:13 AM	#6
BlondieGirl87 No Longer A Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: The Big Friendly City :) Posts: 4,236	I can totally relate to your problem! Jaden has the worst seperation anxiety! I can't even go into the bathroom for two minutes with the door shut without him spinning in circles, crying and barking. I've tried everything, every homeopathic thing out there, Rescue Remedy, Calm Ease, and about 5 other things, none of which did anything for him. It's gotten progressively worse, he works himself up into a frenzy and if I have to leave him when I come home he's panting, his heart is racing and he is SUPER hyper for me to be home. I used to put him in his crate but his newest thing is he's started defacating due to his anxiety when I leave. The last time I left him in his crate and stepped outside for 20 minutes, when I came back in he had deficated in his crate and covered himself in it It is the most frustrating thing and it has gotten to the point where I have to take him with me just about everywhere. I don't mind bringing him along but I just wish he wasn't so attached and could enjoy life without me for 10 minutes. I talked with a behaviorist and he suggested a bunch of differen things. Stepping outside for thirty seconds and coming back then increasing it to longer periods of time, giving him something entertaining to play with, something tasty to chew on, leaving music on, leaving a tape on with my voice on it....so far nothing has worked I even got him a new baby sister this past December to keep him company for the few hours a week I have to be gone and up to this point, even that doesn't seem to be helping all that much. I am going to speak with another beahviorist, supposed to be an expert in his field and we are driving 6 hours to speak with him. I am hoping maybe he can shed some light on this, I hate to drug him so I've been trying everything else first, however, if nothing else works I suppose I will have to look into prescription drugs and see if I can find something that is not harmful that would help him to live a calmer life for the few hours I am away... Please keep in touch and let us know how your little one is doing. I know I don't have a lot of advice to give to help you but wanted to let you know that you're not the only one going through this. Hugs, Joy

02-28-2007, 11:20 AM	#7
evil_soma Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: whittier Posts: 44	thanks you, i will keep in touch. I dont want to turn to medication either. Ive even thought about submitting to be on the dog whisperer . And I know what you mean about taking him everywhere, i do that too. i mean i guess the one good thing is when he's in his crate he WILL NOT poop or pee, no matter how much he has to go, but i also go to school and if i left him in his crate while i went to work it would mean he would only see me a couple hours a day. but he still stresses out in his crate and has destroyed part of the towel over his crate and to my surprise i came home and found a big hole in a shoe box i had left to close...its frustrating. My mom is home most of the time but refuses to let him out when she's there, she use to but now she wont at all. unlike me she doesnt like dogs and she does like soma but will not watch him for me...it makes it even more frustrating... but ya, keep in touch with me. that way if i find something i can tell you and if you find something you can help me

03-01-2007, 06:40 PM	#9
mmn000 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Vienna, VA Posts: 42	You've probably tried this, but Kong toys frozen with peanut butter in them can help. Also, the Everlasting Treat Ball keeps mine busy for a while. dog.com sells them fairly cheap.

03-01-2007, 08:00 PM	#10
pip'smom Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 34	In the book, "The Dog Listener" Jan Fennell addresses this issue. She explains it as the dog feels like it's alpha, making it responsible for the pack. The dog is usually made to feel it's alpha by our actions toward, by all the love and attention we give it, catering to it's every whim. Feeding, playing, loving on demand. When you leave with out the dog, it can't see you and know you're ok, so it's stressed. Kinda like your child walking out of the house, and you not knowing what's on the other side of the door, you'd worry, too! If you were in the alpha position, the dog would accept that you come and go as you want, the alpha does what it wants, the other pack members accept it as normal and not to be questioned. When I leave in the morning, I pick up my purse and walk out the door. I don't hug Pip one last time, I don't tell her good bye, I don't give her all kinds of treats and toys. She already has toys to occupy her. I don't make a production out of it. She doesn't bark and carry on, I know because I've stood outside the door for at least 15 minutes listening on several occasions. When I come home, I walk in, and she's dancing all around my feet begging for me to notice her. I put my stuff down, kick off my shoes, greet my husband, take care of what ever business I need to do, and I don't make eye contact with Pip at all. After about one minute, she calms down, and sits quietly. When she does, I look down and notice her, and reach down and pick her up and give her hugs and kisses. She accepts her place in the pack and it happy with it, and she's a much nicer baby to be around. To some, my actions would seem mean but I don't really think dogs think in terms like that. In their own packs, there's no feelings such as mean, nice, being polite, etc. There's your's, mine, alpha, and then all the other members of the pack. To regain control and to put yourself back in the alpha position will only be 'mean' to you, but the dog will adjust and accept. That's what they do, tho their personality's might dictate how quickly they learn their new status. I could go on and on about these methods, Pip is the second dog I've trained using them, and believe me, they work! I'm by no means an expert on the subject but the book will help you understand a lot of why the dog acts the way it does. Sorry to ramble on so much.....

03-02-2007, 01:22 PM	#12
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	My boys had it sooooo bad! They dug a hole in the kitchen wall ... like they tried to get out of the house to come after me! I would hear them HOWL like crazy when I left. It broke my heart everyday! I finally took away their ability to see me when I was leaving! Left them a bed with a sweater of mine in it as a blanket. They are doing much better now! I repaired the wall and they have not redug it. (they redug it once when I fixed it). I also ignore them when Im leaving now, and when I get home I put away my things first, I let them calm down a bit before I let them out of the kitchen. This seems to work pretty well for when I go to work. But when I leave to go out (not to work) I can still hear them howl sometimes! Its very very sad! My heart breaks, but they need to learn that they cannot come with me everywhere.

03-02-2007, 02:20 PM	#14
jlyn Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 35	Wow, You do have some work to do with your little boy!!! pip'smom hit the nail right on the head!!!!!!! You must regain control of the pack. It might seem painful at first, but for your sanity and your babys health , you should really try. If you can read some behavior material, as was suggested, you will get alot of information. Or you might sign up for a class with your little man so you can learn how to regain your position. It's soooo hard to be "tough" on our kids, but they expect us to be the leader and believe it or not, life is easier for your pup if he feels secure that you are his trusted leader. Best of luck.

03-02-2007, 04:06 PM	#15
mmn000 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Vienna, VA Posts: 42	Yes, I agree, Pip's mom is exactly right. I've been working with a dog trainer for several months and it's taken me a while to feel OK about ignoring them when they are in an excited state, but we're all getting used to it. It helped me when the dog trainer said what Pip's mom said. The dog's feelings don't get "hurt" if you ignore them. They have to learn that they are not the center of your world. So now I take the "nothing in life is free approach" whenever I feed them or even give them water, or anything, I make them sit for me. I won't let them sleep in my bed at night either. That took them a long time to get used to, but they're fine with it now. They're like kids -- they want limits put on them b/c it makes them feel more relaxed. Like they don't have to be the leader.