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02-18-2015, 07:05 AM | #1 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Urbana
Posts: 13
| HELP WITH A BIG MOVE! Pretty Please! WELL, I'd really appreciate it if you guys could offer some advice for me. There's a couple questions here, so I'll try to keep them short. I've made the decision to move in with my boyfriend this August. He's never had an indoor dog (he's a country boy that believes the dog should be outside – which is NOT happening!). My morkie (Teddie Ruxpin Bear) is 7 years old, and he’s quite a monster…but a cute one! I haven’t been the best with his potty training and he barks a lot (he’s protective). I told the boyfriend that Teddie and I are a 2 for 1 deal. I LOVE that dog more than anything in the world! He’s willing to compromise, but I still worry. I want everything to work out for myself, Teddie, and the boyfriend. Allergy Question: My boyfriend has allergies/breathing problems. Fortunately, he’s been ok with Teddie every time he is around him. We haven’t done an overnight sleepover with my dog yet. The one time we were going to do that, he found a flea and freaked out. Anyways, I’ve calmed him down since then, but I’m worried. He doesn’t shed at all, but this winter has been pretty harsh. He’s had a lot of dry skin. I asked the boyfriend if there was a problem, if he would be willing to get allergy shots at the doctor and he said yes, but didn’t believe they would work. Has anyone ever experienced having their dog around someone with allergies? Are there any remedies? Doggie Door Question: My boyfriend lives about 20 minutes away from the town I work in. Currently, I live 2 minutes from my workplace, so I go home every day at lunchtime to take Teddie out/walk him. When I move in with my boyfriend, I won’t be able to do that. Teddie is not the best potty trained dog in the world. He will pee outside, but he poops inside the house on a pee pad. Sometimes he will pee in the house, but that’s also on a pee pad. He decided that we are going to build a doggie door in his basement that goes through the window (it’s the only alternative with the way his house is setup). Teddie has never used one before, but loves being outside running around. Has anyone ever trained an older dog to use a doggie door? Am I setting myself up for failure here? Sleeping in Bed Question: My morkie sleeps in bed with me every night, ever since he was a puppy. It’s a comfort thing for me, as well as him. I told my boyfriend that I don’t think I could break him of it. He’s never been crate trained (and I kick myself for it all the time). Of course, I worry about my boyfriend’s allergies, but I don’t see Teddie being “cool” with sleeping somewhere else. Has anyone ever broken the habit of “sleeping in bed” with their dog? Especially an adult dog? |
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02-18-2015, 06:05 PM | #2 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker | Wow...I really hate to say this but you have ALOT to think about. You should realize that moving in with someone who doesn't care for indoor dogs, has allergies and freaks about a flea, is going to be challenging, especially since you have a dog with concerns. I would be careful and have a back up plan for the worst case scenario, such as the ultimatum of "It's the dog or me!" Also, many times anger about one thing can be redirected towards the dog. Personally, I would wait at least until you address the doggie issues so that you have the best chance possible for a peaceful coexistence. Good luck! |
02-18-2015, 07:56 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 4,285
| You and Teddy have been together for a while and your relationship is in a fairly set place. How long have you and your boyfriend been together. I ask because the b.f. Is clearly going to have to work his way into the estavlished relationship/way of living that you and Teddy have had. The chances of you and Teddy working into the b.f. life seems more problematic. Maybe more time before you move int together would answer many of your questions. The goal is success, so taking the time to get things set up right might help,with the success. Best of luck to the three of you!
__________________ . Cali , and Cali's keeper and staff, Jay No, not a "mini" Yorkie - She loves to motor in her Mini Cooper car |
02-18-2015, 08:13 PM | #4 | |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Michigan USA & Sheffield UK
Posts: 4,119
| Quote:
Allergies- it depends on the person and the dog. I'm allergic to cats and most dogs, but have never had an issue with either yorkie I've had. When i go to yorkie meetups though, I always have to take an allergy pill. I think some people don't bathe their dogs as often as I do, and that causes a problem for me. Doggie door - i would never use one with a yorkie. Personally, I think its too much of a risk for predators or theft. I would stick to the pad training and use a playpen or room to confine while you're gone. Sleeping - almost any dog can be retrained if sufficient time and effort is put in. But it sounds like Teddie likes sleeping with you, and you like him there. Personally, Id be hesitant to make such changes to mine & my dogs life for just a bf. If the relationship with the bf doesn't work out, will you be kicking yourself for disrupting Teddie's life?
__________________ Karan & ZoE (Chelsea ) | |
02-18-2015, 09:07 PM | #5 |
YT 2000 Club Member | dog I Would not move in with a boyfriend. Date him and let him treat you like a queen. Don't lower your standards. The wedding day will be so special if you wait. Your dog should continue to be with you and sleep with you. If boyfriend doesn't like it give him the boot. That dog was there long before him. Theres No love and faithfulness like that of a dog. Once you move boyfriend in it is hard to get him out. JUST enjoy dating and see if the dog wants him around. Last edited by sandy simpson; 02-18-2015 at 09:12 PM. Reason: spelling |
02-19-2015, 06:26 AM | #6 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Urbana
Posts: 13
| THANK YOU to all of you for your advice. I completely understand your concerns. I dated this man 10 years ago when I was 16 years old. We were young, but he was a really great boyfriend. I moved away for college and we disconnected after that. After I "grew up" and got out of my 8 year relationship, we started to reconnect. We've been dating ever since, and by the time I'll be moving in, I'll have been with him for 3 years. Things are serious, and I do foresee marriage in the near future. I will say, when I tell him that Teddie & I are a 2 for 1 deal, he tells me he's fine with that. He tells me he likes Teddie a lot, except for the barking. Teddie likes him a lot too. Teddie is selective in who he is friendly with, so I was happy to see the two of them connect. He's putting in a fenced in backyard just for Teddie when we move in. That means a lot to me because that's a huge expense. I am nervous about his claim of having allergies. I've told him that if he can't breathe around Teddie, and no allergy pills/injections work, then I have to move out. I would never give up my dog for a man. It's going to be a difficult situation, but I'm trying to remain positive. We won't know until we try! |
02-19-2015, 07:53 AM | #7 | |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Urbana
Posts: 13
| Quote:
Do you have any suggestions on how to start to retrain him on not sleeping in the bed? | |
02-19-2015, 12:42 PM | #8 | |
YT 1000 Club Member | Quote:
Last edited by ColesMommy01; 02-19-2015 at 12:43 PM. | |
02-19-2015, 06:15 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,931
| When I moved from the city to the country, the first thing I did was have an attractive dog run built right off my deck, Lattice and 4x4 used, 4 ft high 32 ft long 8 ft wide. Then I had a special screen door built with a doggie hatch. My oldest was 10 years old and would never walk through a door unless it was fully opened, I didn't think she would use the doggie hatch, my baby was 5 y/o, I knew she would have no problem with the hatch. I guided the 10 y/o through the hatch 4 or 5 times, she had no problem, both used the hatch that led to the deck then 3 steps down to the dog run. So yes, you can train an older dog to use a doggie hatch.
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog |
02-20-2015, 10:38 AM | #10 | |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | Quote:
I think that you are right to be nervous - in fact I would delay moving into together until you have had a least a few weekends with him staying with you and Teddy. There are shots and pills that are not totally effective for every-one. It will depend on a number of factors like how severly allergic he is - and if it is to the dander the saliva or both. My sister are her daughter are severly allegic to cats - and even though they dosed up prior to an outside bbq, the short time inside our house - after one hour they were both wheezing and weeping..... Why made such a serious decision, go through all the upset of a move without a better understanding of how he will re-act to Teddy over several days. I also think that there are a few more important concerns - such as an outside dog versus inside dog - pee pads and pooping in the house - creating friction for your relationship. It is almost impossible over the internet to judge *tone* and just how much you are concerned - but you did post here to seek advice so ..... And I don't know how your BF truly feels about being of secondary importance to you. I know that I would not want to be second fiddle all the time. All successful relationships yes are based on compromise/negotiation and pet owning philosophies between couples are best when you have a mutual set of beliefs or values. What about emergency medical care - expensive tests et al; will your boy friend be on board with that? Do you have pet insurance in place to help defray the costs? The marital bed needs or at least should be one where both folks feel at ease and comfortable in. And yes it is possible to train your dog to sleep in if not a crate at least a playpen - and you can start now. For me I would want my wishes honored here. Especially if I am building a huge fence, and will accept peepads in the house. I am not a particular clean nut (after all I own three dogs), but none of my dogs sleep in our bed. All my dogs have a cuddle with me on the bed prior to bedtime, then off the bed they go to sleep in their beds. What is important to me about canine ownership and my partners values and beliefs is that they are close to mine in terms of raising, training, exercising, medical care (the best), going on vacation with us, being fed high quality food and its associated expense. I would not put up with a dog that peed and poo[ed on the furniture, chewed everything in sight, growled, bit or nipped any-one. I am just giving some for instances. So while you brought up a few concerns there are more; and mayhap you already know you are compatible on the other questions on canine care and ownership, but if not I do suggest you find out.
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 | |
02-20-2015, 05:41 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alabama
Posts: 941
| I have kind of a crazy suggestion for your bed. My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's in September. Part of it (at least for him) is REM sleep disorder. He acts out his dreams. This involves lots of movement, kicking, and one time diving out of the bed. I've never been afraid for myself but we both are seriously concerned about our two Yorkies. They have slept with us their entire life. I bought a "co sleeper". It is basically a cradle at bed height that attaches to the side of the bed. It's used for newborn babies. We put soft pillows in it and agreed to make our bed somewhat uncomfortable for our two. We don't do anything mean, we just move around a bit when they cuddle against us. We've never tried to force them to stay in there. Over time they have started sleeping in it on their own. If you decide to do this, I would suggest getting one now and slowly working towards getting him to use it. For us it's been great. They cuddle with us and then go to their own spot to sleep - but they are really still with us. Just a thought for at least one of your issues.
__________________ Karen and the Kids Sadie and Beemer |
02-23-2015, 06:34 AM | #12 |
Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Urbana
Posts: 13
| This is all really good advice/suggestions! And Gemy, your post was great! I do believe there are many concerns that I have not thought about. I'm really glad that I can come to YorkieTalk and get solid advice on some things and even a different perspective. Thank you guys! Salazark, that is a great suggestion. I will definitely look into that! |
02-27-2015, 11:37 AM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Panama City Beach
Posts: 161
| AS for the doggy door, I would be terrified to leave my Yorkied unattended, even in a fenced yard. I just envision a wild animal coming into the yard. My Yorkied would fight, but probably lose... While BF is building that fence, look into building the covered run mentioned by Joan (Matese). It would certainly offer more protection and you could easily keep a small area free and clear of unwanted items (my yorkies tend to try and snack on random things. With all that being said, now I'm worried your poor boy might dig out of a run or a fenced yard....see, just the thought of an unattended yorkie outside....
__________________ Pam, mommy to Tyson and Rin, grandma to Ernie (Surely I'm not old enough to be a grandma) |
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