My yorkie is afraid of me and pees when I approach him. - YorkieTalk.com Forums

bellusfemina · 06-18-2010, 12:06 PM

Hey guys I am new to the forum, and I’m hoping to find some answers here. I have a 6 month old yorkie named Chaz. This is the first dog I’ve ever had, so I admit I have made mistakes with trying to train him.
The first few months that I had him, he was very hard to potty train. If I would catch him mid-stream, I would run over and swoop him up, and then give him a smack or flick him in the nose and yell “BAD DOG” and then I would take him outside. He has finally gotten the connection to use the potty outside, but now he acts scared of me. I try to approach him now- calmly and talk sweet to him, and when I reach down to pet him or pick him up, he pees a huge puddle!!! Of course at this point I’m not going to punish him for peeing, since it is just out of nervousness. But now, no matter what I do, he holds a grudge from when he was little and I disciplined him for peeing inside.
What can I do to regain his trust? I get so aggravated now because he won’t come when I call him, and when I approach him- he pees. Please everyone- don’t scold me for hitting my dog. Like I said, I am brand new at the whole puppy thing, and I didn’t realize that you weren’t supposed to hit them for peeing. I just need advise on how to fix the problem with the trust issue Chaz has with me now. Will he ever not be afraid of me? How long is this going to take to reverse this? What do I need to do?? Please help.

tjdmom · 06-18-2010, 12:11 PM

I think it's going to take awhile to regain his trust. I would first of all, be sure to be very calm from now on. Getting aggravated doesn't help anyone as you have learned, unfortunately, the hard way. But dogs are very forgiving and if you work hard at rebuilding this relationship, I do think you can have success. First try to remember that he doesn't intentionally disobey and use positive rewards for the things he does correctly and ignore the things he does wrong. Don't force yourself on him but let him learn to trust you again. Hopefully others will be able to give you good advice as well.....

megansmomma · 06-18-2010, 12:22 PM

I'm not going to bash you but just have to say that you have created quite the problem with your prior training techniques. My suggestion would be to go to the top of the training forum and read the Sticky called How to Train a puppy mill rescue. There are a lot of really good ideas that you can use to help overcome the trust issues that your little guy is having. Everything must be positive reinforcement for him ever to be able to trust again but it is possible with a LOT OF WORK on your part. I would also suggest that you purchase bellybands if he is still having accidents in the house they will help a lot too. Just remember treat, praise and never left your hand to your little guy every again.

Dogs are very forgiving and only show total love and devotion to their owners.

Nancy1999 · 06-18-2010, 12:31 PM

He's not holding a grudge he's scared of you. We are always teaching more than one thing when we are teaching something. You may have taught him potty training, but you also taught him fear. Submissive peeing and poop eating has been linked to overly aggressive punishment in potty training. It really important to understand the basics of potty training before you bring home the dog, and this is something a good breeder would have taught you. Aversive punishment does work in modifying behavior, but there is always some side effect and the side effect is usually fear, which can lead to aggression. I try to advise new pet owners that their first job is to teach the puppy a feeling of safety and comfort. Your hands should always be seen as something good not bad. Potty training takes consistency and patience reward the success and ignore the mistakes.

Some of the others might have suggestions on how to help your pup. The only thing I can think of is to try and teach your puppy that your hands are good. Have you thought about a puppy training class, it sounds like you need to learn lots of basics. I personally don't think yelling should ever be used, and when training as few words as possible should be used. You might try carrying around a small bag of cheerios, and go to another room and call the dog, when he comes reward him with a cheerio. I do a lot of training with Joey, he's not the type that loves to be held for hours, but he does like to play fetch and perform tricks, I think that the time we spend training is very good for him, and he seems to enjoy it, but if you find yourself getting frustrated, they will sense this, so you need to calm down. When grooming you dog, be gentle and reward for good behavior. It's more important that they learn to enjoy grooming than be perfectly groomed at first. I think it might help you if you read up on submissive urination. Behavior: Understanding and Modifying

DvlshAngel985 · 06-18-2010, 12:56 PM

You've already gotten a lot of good advice. He is definitely scared of you, and submissive/excited peeing is something that is extremely hard to get through. Don't think that it is something you can work through quickly. My biggest suggestion to you would be to get a belly band, or a few. Not so much for him but for you. It's harder to lose your temper with Chaz if you can't see a puddle. With lots of hard work you'll regain his trust. As long as you realize that it is a process you'll do great. Good luck.

gemy · 06-18-2010, 01:54 PM

Your wee one is still little - only six months old. Please remember that he is still just a puppy. The suggestions here are great ones.
I'm curious do you play games with your Chaz, inside and outside? Do you walk him regularly?
Does he come to you eagerly for his dinner/breakfast?

A very rough rule of thumb at this age - he is like a three year old child - treat him like a child you love. Also you should know that he is approaching the second fear stage of puppyhood, so that it is important to be protective of him when you are outside and inside too for that matter.

I'll share a story with you, I work downtown in a very busy section of town, Razz man had been coming with me into my work three or more times a week since I got him at 12 wks old. All of a sudden when he was about seven months old, I walked him from my car to my clinic, along a sidestreet first, then we turned to go onto the really busy mainstreet, he pulled back on his lead and sat down. He was scared of the noise and bustle! From my very brave and courageous boy - what a difference. So I praised him for a good sit and gave him a treat. I walked him the rest of the way into my clinic on the side away from the street. We went into clinic everything was fine, I immediately called my breeder and trainer and described the situation, she advised me on what to do, for the journey home. Also she said, don't take him into the clinic for about 2-3 wks, walk with him at home, with Magic (our big boy), and you will know by his attitude when he will be ready again for the noise and bustle of the big city. She was right on. About a month later we went back into the clinic, same route, same noise, and nary a care in the world did Razz man have. I'm not sure what goes on at this time in their puppy minds, but it is important that you recognize it when it starts to occur.

I do agree that your dog is scared of you, as of course you now know, but you can reverse this as others have said.

You could try getting on the floor - read the newspaper or a book, have some treats good smelly wonderfull treats handy, when your boy starts to come closer you could hold out a treat and say Yums .. Chaz you want this and hold out the treat.

Also try getting him interested in playing with you and a toy.

Let us know how you do with your wonderful boy.

megansmomma · 06-18-2010, 02:08 PM

Here is the link to the article that I recommend that you read. I understand that you do not have a puppy mill rescue but the advice given in this article is excellent .

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/tra...nt-advice.html

107barney · 06-18-2010, 02:15 PM

I'm not going to bash you either except I want to say that no one should ever hit a dog for any reason - this includes a flick in the nose. You now seem to know this and that is the first step at effectively (and lovingly) training your dog. I hope you will seek out a trainer for some help so you can regain your dog's trust and build a long lasting relationship that does not include fear.
Lots of luck.

susan lynn · 06-18-2010, 04:09 PM

I am sorry you are going through this, My Tessie was never hit by me but she is nervous and will not always come when I call her. She prefers I come to her and pick her up. She likes it better when I sit or lay on the floor so I am at her level. She will definitely come when I have a treat. She just needs a lot more love than my 2 boys. She was the first yorkie I have ever had, always had other dogs. I took her to Petsmart Puppy classes and we both learned a lot. Just be patient and very loving. Give lots of treats, My 3 also love the plain Cheerios. My vet told me they were ok.

Ringo1 · 06-18-2010, 05:36 PM

Aww. I hope you can rebuild your relationship with your pup. I won't reiterate what others have said.

Make sure he learns that your hands are kind hands - hands that pet; feed; play; and hold lots of yummy treats. Spend some time playing with him every day and I think walking builds a great bond.

Good Luck.

ziggy925 · 06-19-2010, 08:29 AM

The rule of thumb is to not do anything when your dog is bad, and reward him when he is good. My little guy is my first dog, too, and it can be very frustrating. I guess we all watch Lassie in the movies and assume our dog will be the same.

Here are some suggestions, but I'm not sure if everyone will agree with me. Let the little guy sleep with you. There are pros and cons to this, but it will help develop a bond. Also, get him into puppy school. It's good for the dog on a lot of levels, and he may get to see you in a different light.

The bottom line is that you are supposed to be the alpha, but through respect, not fear. Sometimes dogs will pee out of submission. This is a two sided coin. You want your dog to be submissive, but without the peeing. Realize that dogs can sense what you are feeling, and you can't fake it. They just know.

Dogs don't do things out of revenge, so I believe all this will work out. It will just take a little patience and it will be worth it.

06-18-2010, 12:06 PM	#1
bellusfemina YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Lawton, Oklahoma Posts: 3	My yorkie is afraid of me and pees when I approach him. Hey guys I am new to the forum, and I’m hoping to find some answers here. I have a 6 month old yorkie named Chaz. This is the first dog I’ve ever had, so I admit I have made mistakes with trying to train him. The first few months that I had him, he was very hard to potty train. If I would catch him mid-stream, I would run over and swoop him up, and then give him a smack or flick him in the nose and yell “BAD DOG” and then I would take him outside. He has finally gotten the connection to use the potty outside, but now he acts scared of me. I try to approach him now- calmly and talk sweet to him, and when I reach down to pet him or pick him up, he pees a huge puddle!!! Of course at this point I’m not going to punish him for peeing, since it is just out of nervousness. But now, no matter what I do, he holds a grudge from when he was little and I disciplined him for peeing inside. What can I do to regain his trust? I get so aggravated now because he won’t come when I call him, and when I approach him- he pees. Please everyone- don’t scold me for hitting my dog. Like I said, I am brand new at the whole puppy thing, and I didn’t realize that you weren’t supposed to hit them for peeing. I just need advise on how to fix the problem with the trust issue Chaz has with me now. Will he ever not be afraid of me? How long is this going to take to reverse this? What do I need to do?? Please help.

06-18-2010, 12:22 PM	#3
megansmomma Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL Posts: 12,235	I'm not going to bash you but just have to say that you have created quite the problem with your prior training techniques. My suggestion would be to go to the top of the training forum and read the Sticky called How to Train a puppy mill rescue. There are a lot of really good ideas that you can use to help overcome the trust issues that your little guy is having. Everything must be positive reinforcement for him ever to be able to trust again but it is possible with a LOT OF WORK on your part. I would also suggest that you purchase bellybands if he is still having accidents in the house they will help a lot too. Just remember treat, praise and never left your hand to your little guy every again. Dogs are very forgiving and only show total love and devotion to their owners. __________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain

06-18-2010, 12:31 PM	#4
Nancy1999 I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 25,396 Blog Entries: 2	He's not holding a grudge he's scared of you. We are always teaching more than one thing when we are teaching something. You may have taught him potty training, but you also taught him fear. Submissive peeing and poop eating has been linked to overly aggressive punishment in potty training. It really important to understand the basics of potty training before you bring home the dog, and this is something a good breeder would have taught you. Aversive punishment does work in modifying behavior, but there is always some side effect and the side effect is usually fear, which can lead to aggression. I try to advise new pet owners that their first job is to teach the puppy a feeling of safety and comfort. Your hands should always be seen as something good not bad. Potty training takes consistency and patience reward the success and ignore the mistakes. Some of the others might have suggestions on how to help your pup. The only thing I can think of is to try and teach your puppy that your hands are good. Have you thought about a puppy training class, it sounds like you need to learn lots of basics. I personally don't think yelling should ever be used, and when training as few words as possible should be used. You might try carrying around a small bag of cheerios, and go to another room and call the dog, when he comes reward him with a cheerio. I do a lot of training with Joey, he's not the type that loves to be held for hours, but he does like to play fetch and perform tricks, I think that the time we spend training is very good for him, and he seems to enjoy it, but if you find yourself getting frustrated, they will sense this, so you need to calm down. When grooming you dog, be gentle and reward for good behavior. It's more important that they learn to enjoy grooming than be perfectly groomed at first. I think it might help you if you read up on submissive urination. Behavior: Understanding and Modifying __________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals

06-18-2010, 12:56 PM	#5
DvlshAngel985 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California, USA Posts: 12,693	You've already gotten a lot of good advice. He is definitely scared of you, and submissive/excited peeing is something that is extremely hard to get through. Don't think that it is something you can work through quickly. My biggest suggestion to you would be to get a belly band, or a few. Not so much for him but for you. It's harder to lose your temper with Chaz if you can't see a puddle. With lots of hard work you'll regain his trust. As long as you realize that it is a process you'll do great. Good luck. __________________ Littlest JakJak We miss you Kaji

06-18-2010, 01:54 PM	#6
gemy YT 2000 Club Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Huntsville,Ont,Canaada Posts: 12,335 Blog Entries: 2	Your wee one is still little - only six months old. Please remember that he is still just a puppy. The suggestions here are great ones. I'm curious do you play games with your Chaz, inside and outside? Do you walk him regularly? Does he come to you eagerly for his dinner/breakfast? A very rough rule of thumb at this age - he is like a three year old child - treat him like a child you love. Also you should know that he is approaching the second fear stage of puppyhood, so that it is important to be protective of him when you are outside and inside too for that matter. I'll share a story with you, I work downtown in a very busy section of town, Razz man had been coming with me into my work three or more times a week since I got him at 12 wks old. All of a sudden when he was about seven months old, I walked him from my car to my clinic, along a sidestreet first, then we turned to go onto the really busy mainstreet, he pulled back on his lead and sat down. He was scared of the noise and bustle! From my very brave and courageous boy - what a difference. So I praised him for a good sit and gave him a treat. I walked him the rest of the way into my clinic on the side away from the street. We went into clinic everything was fine, I immediately called my breeder and trainer and described the situation, she advised me on what to do, for the journey home. Also she said, don't take him into the clinic for about 2-3 wks, walk with him at home, with Magic (our big boy), and you will know by his attitude when he will be ready again for the noise and bustle of the big city. She was right on. About a month later we went back into the clinic, same route, same noise, and nary a care in the world did Razz man have. I'm not sure what goes on at this time in their puppy minds, but it is important that you recognize it when it starts to occur. I do agree that your dog is scared of you, as of course you now know, but you can reverse this as others have said. You could try getting on the floor - read the newspaper or a book, have some treats good smelly wonderfull treats handy, when your boy starts to come closer you could hold out a treat and say Yums .. Chaz you want this and hold out the treat. Also try getting him interested in playing with you and a toy. Let us know how you do with your wonderful boy. __________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018

06-18-2010, 12:11 PM	#2
tjdmom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny Posts: 5,847	I think it's going to take awhile to regain his trust. I would first of all, be sure to be very calm from now on. Getting aggravated doesn't help anyone as you have learned, unfortunately, the hard way. But dogs are very forgiving and if you work hard at rebuilding this relationship, I do think you can have success. First try to remember that he doesn't intentionally disobey and use positive rewards for the things he does correctly and ignore the things he does wrong. Don't force yourself on him but let him learn to trust you again. Hopefully others will be able to give you good advice as well.....

06-18-2010, 02:08 PM	#7
megansmomma Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL Posts: 12,235	Here is the link to the article that I recommend that you read. I understand that you do not have a puppy mill rescue but the advice given in this article is excellent . http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/tra...nt-advice.html __________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain

06-18-2010, 02:15 PM	#8
107barney T. Bumpkins & Co. Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New England Posts: 9,816	I'm not going to bash you either except I want to say that no one should ever hit a dog for any reason - this includes a flick in the nose. You now seem to know this and that is the first step at effectively (and lovingly) training your dog. I hope you will seek out a trainer for some help so you can regain your dog's trust and build a long lasting relationship that does not include fear. Lots of luck. __________________ T. Bumpkins & Co. Washable Doggie Pee Pads (Save 10% Enter YTSAVE10 at checkout) Cathy, Teddy, Winston and Baby Clyde...RIP angels Barney and Daisy

06-18-2010, 04:09 PM	#9
susan lynn Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Georgia Posts: 3,262	I am sorry you are going through this, My Tessie was never hit by me but she is nervous and will not always come when I call her. She prefers I come to her and pick her up. She likes it better when I sit or lay on the floor so I am at her level. She will definitely come when I have a treat. She just needs a lot more love than my 2 boys. She was the first yorkie I have ever had, always had other dogs. I took her to Petsmart Puppy classes and we both learned a lot. Just be patient and very loving. Give lots of treats, My 3 also love the plain Cheerios. My vet told me they were ok. __________________ SUSAN : TESSIE : HOBBES :CALVIN :SASSY There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face! ~ Ben Williams

06-18-2010, 05:36 PM	#10
Ringo1 Ringo (1) and Lucy too! Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: On the Edge of Glory Posts: 3,447	Aww. I hope you can rebuild your relationship with your pup. I won't reiterate what others have said. Make sure he learns that your hands are kind hands - hands that pet; feed; play; and hold lots of yummy treats. Spend some time playing with him every day and I think walking builds a great bond. Good Luck.

06-19-2010, 08:29 AM	#11
ziggy925 YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aspen, CO, US Posts: 544	The rule of thumb is to not do anything when your dog is bad, and reward him when he is good. My little guy is my first dog, too, and it can be very frustrating. I guess we all watch Lassie in the movies and assume our dog will be the same. Here are some suggestions, but I'm not sure if everyone will agree with me. Let the little guy sleep with you. There are pros and cons to this, but it will help develop a bond. Also, get him into puppy school. It's good for the dog on a lot of levels, and he may get to see you in a different light. The bottom line is that you are supposed to be the alpha, but through respect, not fear. Sometimes dogs will pee out of submission. This is a two sided coin. You want your dog to be submissive, but without the peeing. Realize that dogs can sense what you are feeling, and you can't fake it. They just know. Dogs don't do things out of revenge, so I believe all this will work out. It will just take a little patience and it will be worth it.