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Old 04-10-2010, 07:26 AM   #1
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Default What Not to Say to Your Breeder

It was suggested the other day to have a thread to post all the silly inquiries that breeders get and generally "what not to say to your breeder when looking for a pup". There are probably some great stories that everyone has and this should be a really fun thread.

So to start it off I had a phone call a couple of days ago from a sweet young thing and this is how it went.


"Hello, I got your name from someone else. Have you got puppies?"
"Not right now?"
"Well, that's ok, I don't want one until July 15 anyways because that is the day I go back to work after my holidays. And I want a female, will you have one for me on July 15?"
"No, I don't think I'll have one for you July 15 or ever. Bye."

Audrey
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:40 AM   #2
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I had a interesting one the other day.

First question out of her mouth was "do you give a discount if I want 3-4 of your dogs?" My mouth almost hit the floor Then she said/asked "my vet told me that if a male has only 1 teste he will be good at making babies, is this true?" Short conversation. I was very polite and had to inform her she was not ready for a puppy, or breeding if that is her intent. but she may call me at anytime if she would like to know more about yorkies I also refered her here.
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:54 AM   #3
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I had a call from someone once who wanted to know "how much for the whole litter". Broker alert!!!!! I would never sell more than one pup to anyone unless I knew them really well.

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Old 04-10-2010, 08:00 AM   #4
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Oh I'm glad you started this thread, lol, that cracked me up that she wanted a puppy for after her vacation. I always think it's good if people can take a vacation after they get their puppy, to get them acclimated to their new home, and she doesn't want a puppy until after, tells you where her head was.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:05 AM   #5
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Question! is the is a training thread as not what to say to a breeder?
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:10 AM   #6
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I was little worried about people reading it and getting hints as to what not to say, but I really don't think that will happen, so let's just have a little fun with it. LOL

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Old 04-10-2010, 08:12 AM   #7
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There is a woman in my area who breeds miniature schnauzers, she has written some stories that have been published, she calls herself the "schnauzer breeder from hell", her stories are too funny. Here is one of them:

"Studding My Dog"
**RING**
I look up from my dinner. Who would call the Schnauzer Breeder From Hell at suppertime? I check the caller id. It's a local call. No mercy. Had they called from different time zone, I might have considered commuting their sentence...
"Yes." Hello is too good for this loser. This should be the first hint.
"Yeah, is this the lady who has Schnauzers? Someone gave me your number... I'm calling about a stud." Uh huh. This loser doesn't know my name, but wants to use one of my studs? I'm just about to pick up the whistle I keep on hand for obscene callers, when I hear words I hadn't expected.
"I have a stud. I thought you might want to use him."
But of course! Whatever was I thinking? I put down my plate. Time to trade in my salad for some fresh meat.
"You do? Please! Tell me more about him."
"He's got papers. We're charging $75 but we might take a pup if there's a good one in there.
If my plan is going to succeed, I must first win his friendship. "Oh my goodness, I could never sleep at night having paid you so little. I wouldn't dream of paying less than $125."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Actually, some people charge $150 for studding their Schnauzers." I hear the skin on his cheeks snap into an idiot grin.
"Ok. But for you I'll charge $125, though, ok? When do you want to use him? Got anything ready now? We'd really like to get some pups outa him."
"You mean he's never been used before?" I let a long moment of silence pass before continuing, my voice grave.
"I hope you've checked him for T.E.S.S."
"What tests? He's got his shots."
"No, I said TESS T - E - S - S."
There's a little hesitation in his voice now. "Tess?"
"Testicular Ecstatic Seizure Syndrome." I whisper it into the receiver.
"Huh? What's that?"
"Breeding fits. Kind of like a seizure, except it hits them in the rear first. They sort of lose control. It's an awful thing to see. Awful thing... You mean nobody told you?"
"er....no?"
*sigh* "They never do. You're lucky you talked to me then, eh? I may might have saved your dog from a convulsion or worse..." I let that sink in for a moment. First you herd them into the tunnel, then you turn on the light...
"But there's a couple of tests you can do to check for it... easy stuff."
"Yeah? tests?" (He's coming in like a bug to a zapper...)
"You can do them yourself. First you get a female that's ready for breeding, bring your stud in and watch what happens. You have to watch really close...but keep him on a leash so you can get him out of there if you have to."
"Ok"
"Watch your stud real close, and if he starts to chatter his teeth a little, well that's a danger sign. The first thing to start him off in a breeding fit is that teeth chattering thing... are you writing this down?"
"Ok"
"Next thing to do is watch how excited he gets. If he starts scrambling around and won't listen to you, then that's another danger sign. If he does that, get him outa there fast. Let him settle down for a few days. Maybe a week. Then try again. If he still does it, well, he's gonna need an operation."
"An operation?". I can hear the profit margin calculations being adjusted.
"Oh yeah, you can cure TESS real easy. Just get your dog in right away to the vet for an operation."
"You sure? I mean, operations can be kinda expensive..."
"Not as expensive as buying another dog, eh? Besides, if anybody gets even a hint that your dog has TESS, they won't use him. No way. Who wants to waste time on a dog that dies before the job gets done, eh?"
"I never thought about it that way. You got a good point there...."
"Yup. So, this is what you do. You go to your vet and tell him you want him to do a Vasek Tummy operation. Write that down...Va-sek-Tum-my
"Yup, got it. Ok, thanks."
"Wait, for crying out loud, that isn't all!"
"No?"
"If your vet gets any idea that you want to be studding your dog, he's not gonna do it. So, no matter what he says, tell him you don't ever want to stud that dog. NEVER."
"Huh?"
"And don't breathe a word about the TESS. For sure he won't do it then."
"Why not?"
"Vets are funny that way. If they find out you want to fix up a dog with TESS for breeding, they won't let you do it. So they won't do that Vasek Tummy operation."
"Oh. Ok. Now I get this."
"Good. Hey, and good luck, eh? Be sure to call me back and tell me how it went. I like to know about vets who do good Vasek Tummy surgeries. There's lots of people like you out there."
"Thanks. Thanks for your help. I'll be sure to do that."
"No need to thank me" I take out a steak knife and carve another notch in the idiot stick. "The opportunity to help others is the only thanks I need."
copyright 2000, Catherine McMillan
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:14 AM   #8
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OK...I've got one. A couple of months ago, I had this lady call me asking about a female pup. It started off as a great conversation. She goes on to tell me that she's got a Yorkie/Chi mix already and was looking for a Yorkie to be a companion for her. She mentions how she's been researching the breed for years and is finally ready to get a Yorkie...that she's talked to many breeders...didn't care for them...on and on. Tells me she paid a very high price for her mix because her breeder wanted to make sure she went to a good home (whatever ). Then says how she has a house on the bay...goes on to describe it (makes me jealous ), says her husband has his own business, is out of town a lot, she's home all the time....you get the picture.

I tell my wife that she 'sounds' like the ideal Yorkie parent, that I had sent pictures and that she had made an appointment to come on Sat. to see the pup. Saturday comes....no call...no show. I hear from her again a few days later. She explains how she had gotten so busy and couldn't make it, apologizes and makes another appointment. Same thing. At this point, I've already blown her off and have decided she's a flake and don't want her to have one of my pups.

I hear from her a couple of weeks later by e-mail....being all apologetic again. She goes on to say how she was already in love with my little girl and just had to have her. Now, price had never been mentioned until this point (which I liked) but she goes on to say that she had a budget and didn't want to spend more than $400 for her. I laughed out loud reading this and just deleted her e-mail. What a flake!!

The kicker is that I got a phone call last week from someone inquiring about a young female pup. I asked what she meant by young and she goes, "oh, seven or eight weeks". I said, well, you won't be getting a pup from me at that age and, by the way, how did you get my number? Yup, you guessed it...Ms Flake herself! She goes on to ask how much for a pup. I say they're too young for me say for sure (I evaluate and price individually) on but here's a ball park price... Oh, that's too much is her reply. OK, I say.....good luck in your search....
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:23 AM   #9
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LMAO....that Schnauzer story is too much!!
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:33 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinstonMom View Post
I was little worried about people reading it and getting hints as to what not to say, but I really don't think that will happen, so let's just have a little fun with it. LOL

Audrey
That was my thoughts exactly. I get my gut feelins on my first call. So, no training on how to talk the talk.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:36 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinstonMom View Post
There is a woman in my area who breeds miniature schnauzers, she has written some stories that have been published, she calls herself the "schnauzer breeder from hell", her stories are too funny. Here is one of them:

"Studding My Dog"
**RING**
I look up from my dinner. Who would call the Schnauzer Breeder From Hell at suppertime? I check the caller id. It's a local call. No mercy. Had they called from different time zone, I might have considered commuting their sentence...
"Yes." Hello is too good for this loser. This should be the first hint.
"Yeah, is this the lady who has Schnauzers? Someone gave me your number... I'm calling about a stud." Uh huh. This loser doesn't know my name, but wants to use one of my studs? I'm just about to pick up the whistle I keep on hand for obscene callers, when I hear words I hadn't expected.
"I have a stud. I thought you might want to use him."
But of course! Whatever was I thinking? I put down my plate. Time to trade in my salad for some fresh meat.
"You do? Please! Tell me more about him."
"He's got papers. We're charging $75 but we might take a pup if there's a good one in there.
If my plan is going to succeed, I must first win his friendship. "Oh my goodness, I could never sleep at night having paid you so little. I wouldn't dream of paying less than $125."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Actually, some people charge $150 for studding their Schnauzers." I hear the skin on his cheeks snap into an idiot grin.
"Ok. But for you I'll charge $125, though, ok? When do you want to use him? Got anything ready now? We'd really like to get some pups outa him."
"You mean he's never been used before?" I let a long moment of silence pass before continuing, my voice grave.
"I hope you've checked him for T.E.S.S."
"What tests? He's got his shots."
"No, I said TESS T - E - S - S."
There's a little hesitation in his voice now. "Tess?"
"Testicular Ecstatic Seizure Syndrome." I whisper it into the receiver.
"Huh? What's that?"
"Breeding fits. Kind of like a seizure, except it hits them in the rear first. They sort of lose control. It's an awful thing to see. Awful thing... You mean nobody told you?"
"er....no?"
*sigh* "They never do. You're lucky you talked to me then, eh? I may might have saved your dog from a convulsion or worse..." I let that sink in for a moment. First you herd them into the tunnel, then you turn on the light...
"But there's a couple of tests you can do to check for it... easy stuff."
"Yeah? tests?" (He's coming in like a bug to a zapper...)
"You can do them yourself. First you get a female that's ready for breeding, bring your stud in and watch what happens. You have to watch really close...but keep him on a leash so you can get him out of there if you have to."
"Ok"
"Watch your stud real close, and if he starts to chatter his teeth a little, well that's a danger sign. The first thing to start him off in a breeding fit is that teeth chattering thing... are you writing this down?"
"Ok"
"Next thing to do is watch how excited he gets. If he starts scrambling around and won't listen to you, then that's another danger sign. If he does that, get him outa there fast. Let him settle down for a few days. Maybe a week. Then try again. If he still does it, well, he's gonna need an operation."
"An operation?". I can hear the profit margin calculations being adjusted.
"Oh yeah, you can cure TESS real easy. Just get your dog in right away to the vet for an operation."
"You sure? I mean, operations can be kinda expensive..."
"Not as expensive as buying another dog, eh? Besides, if anybody gets even a hint that your dog has TESS, they won't use him. No way. Who wants to waste time on a dog that dies before the job gets done, eh?"
"I never thought about it that way. You got a good point there...."
"Yup. So, this is what you do. You go to your vet and tell him you want him to do a Vasek Tummy operation. Write that down...Va-sek-Tum-my
"Yup, got it. Ok, thanks."
"Wait, for crying out loud, that isn't all!"
"No?"
"If your vet gets any idea that you want to be studding your dog, he's not gonna do it. So, no matter what he says, tell him you don't ever want to stud that dog. NEVER."
"Huh?"
"And don't breathe a word about the TESS. For sure he won't do it then."
"Why not?"
"Vets are funny that way. If they find out you want to fix up a dog with TESS for breeding, they won't let you do it. So they won't do that Vasek Tummy operation."
"Oh. Ok. Now I get this."
"Good. Hey, and good luck, eh? Be sure to call me back and tell me how it went. I like to know about vets who do good Vasek Tummy surgeries. There's lots of people like you out there."
"Thanks. Thanks for your help. I'll be sure to do that."
"No need to thank me" I take out a steak knife and carve another notch in the idiot stick. "The opportunity to help others is the only thanks I need."
copyright 2000, Catherine McMillan

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Old 04-10-2010, 08:40 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinstonMom View Post
There is a woman in my area who breeds miniature schnauzers, she has written some stories that have been published, she calls herself the "schnauzer breeder from hell", her stories are too funny. Here is one of them:

"Studding My Dog"
**RING**
I look up from my dinner. Who would call the Schnauzer Breeder From Hell at suppertime? I check the caller id. It's a local call. No mercy. Had they called from different time zone, I might have considered commuting their sentence...
"Yes." Hello is too good for this loser. This should be the first hint.
"Yeah, is this the lady who has Schnauzers? Someone gave me your number... I'm calling about a stud." Uh huh. This loser doesn't know my name, but wants to use one of my studs? I'm just about to pick up the whistle I keep on hand for obscene callers, when I hear words I hadn't expected.
"I have a stud. I thought you might want to use him."
But of course! Whatever was I thinking? I put down my plate. Time to trade in my salad for some fresh meat.
"You do? Please! Tell me more about him."
"He's got papers. We're charging $75 but we might take a pup if there's a good one in there.
If my plan is going to succeed, I must first win his friendship. "Oh my goodness, I could never sleep at night having paid you so little. I wouldn't dream of paying less than $125."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. Actually, some people charge $150 for studding their Schnauzers." I hear the skin on his cheeks snap into an idiot grin.
"Ok. But for you I'll charge $125, though, ok? When do you want to use him? Got anything ready now? We'd really like to get some pups outa him."
"You mean he's never been used before?" I let a long moment of silence pass before continuing, my voice grave.
"I hope you've checked him for T.E.S.S."
"What tests? He's got his shots."
"No, I said TESS T - E - S - S."
There's a little hesitation in his voice now. "Tess?"
"Testicular Ecstatic Seizure Syndrome." I whisper it into the receiver.
"Huh? What's that?"
"Breeding fits. Kind of like a seizure, except it hits them in the rear first. They sort of lose control. It's an awful thing to see. Awful thing... You mean nobody told you?"
"er....no?"
*sigh* "They never do. You're lucky you talked to me then, eh? I may might have saved your dog from a convulsion or worse..." I let that sink in for a moment. First you herd them into the tunnel, then you turn on the light...
"But there's a couple of tests you can do to check for it... easy stuff."
"Yeah? tests?" (He's coming in like a bug to a zapper...)
"You can do them yourself. First you get a female that's ready for breeding, bring your stud in and watch what happens. You have to watch really close...but keep him on a leash so you can get him out of there if you have to."
"Ok"
"Watch your stud real close, and if he starts to chatter his teeth a little, well that's a danger sign. The first thing to start him off in a breeding fit is that teeth chattering thing... are you writing this down?"
"Ok"
"Next thing to do is watch how excited he gets. If he starts scrambling around and won't listen to you, then that's another danger sign. If he does that, get him outa there fast. Let him settle down for a few days. Maybe a week. Then try again. If he still does it, well, he's gonna need an operation."
"An operation?". I can hear the profit margin calculations being adjusted.
"Oh yeah, you can cure TESS real easy. Just get your dog in right away to the vet for an operation."
"You sure? I mean, operations can be kinda expensive..."
"Not as expensive as buying another dog, eh? Besides, if anybody gets even a hint that your dog has TESS, they won't use him. No way. Who wants to waste time on a dog that dies before the job gets done, eh?"
"I never thought about it that way. You got a good point there...."
"Yup. So, this is what you do. You go to your vet and tell him you want him to do a Vasek Tummy operation. Write that down...Va-sek-Tum-my
"Yup, got it. Ok, thanks."
"Wait, for crying out loud, that isn't all!"
"No?"
"If your vet gets any idea that you want to be studding your dog, he's not gonna do it. So, no matter what he says, tell him you don't ever want to stud that dog. NEVER."
"Huh?"
"And don't breathe a word about the TESS. For sure he won't do it then."
"Why not?"
"Vets are funny that way. If they find out you want to fix up a dog with TESS for breeding, they won't let you do it. So they won't do that Vasek Tummy operation."
"Oh. Ok. Now I get this."
"Good. Hey, and good luck, eh? Be sure to call me back and tell me how it went. I like to know about vets who do good Vasek Tummy surgeries. There's lots of people like you out there."
"Thanks. Thanks for your help. I'll be sure to do that."
"No need to thank me" I take out a steak knife and carve another notch in the idiot stick. "The opportunity to help others is the only thanks I need."
copyright 2000, Catherine McMillan
Now that is one way to get even.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:52 AM   #13
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How about..................

Do you have any TeaCup Yorkies? I really want one to carry in this cool purse I found at the mall. My girlfriend has a tiny little Chihuahua and she carries it everywhere. We thought it would be fun this summer to take them to the beach with us!

What happens if you go in swimming?...Oh, it will be ok they will be in the purse!


Or...we want to get one of those little tiny ones because my sister is pregnant and her two older twins willl be jealous so she is getting them a baby puppy for them to take care of.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:52 AM   #14
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Now I had a very refreshing call yesterday. A lady, who had shown Poms years ago. But, now looking to get into yorkies. She was not looking to buy a yorkie at this time....but, to learn all she could, before begining her journey. In her observation while attending dog shows, our breed was in serious trouble (very astute observation), since she was seeing so many dogs in the ring that were strictly pet quality. We spent along while on the phone and it was so refreshing to talk to this person. Someone whose heart was in the right place...
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:59 AM   #15
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Many years ago, I used to breed maltese and got a phone call from a woman who wanted to know "what color they were?" She wanted a maltese in the worst way but didn't want a white one as she thought they would get "too dirty".

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