How do you survive a dog's senior years?
Eddie is turning 10 next month. May 5th to be exact. He's energetic, healthy, happy.
And I'm a mess.
I don't want him to get any older. I'm paranoid that, healthwise, it's going to be all downhill from here. I don't know if I can take that. He's been a shining light his whole life. An overachiever. An obedience star. An agility star. A trick star. A therapy dog. He's taught me everything I know about dogs. He changed my life.
I need help. I need advice from Yorkie lovers who have been here before. How do you get through this stage of their lives? He could live to be 20! Certainly 16, 18. I don't want to waste any of his remaining years in the state of mind I'm in right now. I don't want to be lamenting his passing while he's still here. I want to appreciate every last minute of it.
But that's where I am. When I learned of Yoda's passing recently, I was in tears. He was only 12. I was so upset I couldn't even discuss Yoda with my wife without sobbing. The timing was all wrong. I expected Yoda to be here much longer than he was. Yoda was Eddie's peer, and here he was, gone.
I read and re-read every condolence for Yoda, and one of them had a quote that brought emotions I couldn't contain. It talked about 3 moments in a dog's life that the owner will never forget: The first time you see them, the moment you realize they're getting old, and the moment they leave you.
I never let quotes like that get to me, but this one hit home. Have I had that second moment with Eddie? He doesn't seem old to me. Well, yes, I have to pick him up sometimes when he can't walk up stairs. But he's had leg surgery. Totally understandable. And, yes, he doesn't sprint as often as he once did. But old? No! He was acting like a pup just today.
Still, I feel he's close. I feel like that second moment is coming. That's why I'm so paranoid. There was the picture last week (attached below) when I thought he looked old. I've never seen that before in his pictures, and I take thousands of them. In this one, he looked more gray. He's a black and tan Yorkie cut short, and the gray started to dominate. His face, always strikingly handsome and confident, looked a little more unsure. Like maybe he felt a little pain at the end of the day.
I was probably mistaken. I hope so.
But, surely, what I'm going through can't be new. YorkieTalk is home to Yorkie owners who have much more experience than I do. To you, I ask, how do you get through these middle to late years? How do you avoid lamenting their passing before they're gone?
I want nothing more than to cherish every second of the rest of his life.
Help.
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Comments
You are not alone in feeling this way. My little girl Porsche (my hairy daughter) just turned 10 years old in February. I can't stop worrying about how long I have left with her which I'm told I'm crazy and I need to focus on enjoying every minute with her. I still always have that dreaded day in the back of my mind | |
Posted 04-26-2014 at 12:10 AM by Porschee Updated 04-26-2014 at 01:48 PM by alaskayorkie |
Thanks for the commiseration. Someone told me it's called Anticipatory Grief. The person who told me about it said they actually went to a support group and learned to deal with it. They've had 2 wonderful years with their 12 year old dog and anticipate more. I've decided I have no choice but to do that. Grieving now will diminish the present, and I want to take full advantage of the time we have left. Plus, just like humans mature and often would not choose to repeat adolescence given the chance, there are some wonderful memories ahead to be made that a younger dog might be incapable of. At least that's the plan! | |
Posted 04-26-2014 at 01:49 PM by alaskayorkie Updated 05-23-2014 at 09:54 AM by alaskayorkie |
It's good to know there's a name for it. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to a support group. Where do you find a group like that locally? | |
Posted 04-26-2014 at 06:36 PM by Porschee |