[Lauri]

In a message dated 2/26/2005 4:44:07 PM Central Standard Time, Pritzie writes:
Today at 4:30 am we lost Spencer. He had only been with us for a week and a day, but in that short time he managed to capture my heart because his loneliness for his master, and his sadness at being abandoned by the person he loved more than anything else in the world chose to give him up and send him away. Spencer was a special needs little man and a request was submitted for him on his arrival and subsequent surgery 3 days later to become a forever ours pup. He had a host of problems and sadly none of them were minor. He was blind in his left eye due to neglect by his owner to put the meds in his eye as a 1 year old to prevent it. He had a bladder surgery some time back in which 20 stones were removed abdominally. But prior to that he had a stone pulled through his penis, which damaged it beyond repair and was then a candidate for a radical surgery, which would have essentially changed him from a proud boy to a little girl, at least physically.

When the vet did the surgery it was also discovered that his bladder was so enlarged and distended that it no longer had the ability to contract on it's own to hold or expel urine, creating a situation where it would just fill up and then overflow which was the cause of Spencers incontinence. But I made him belly bands and that solved that problem, but since I didn't have carpet, I didn't even stress out about it since a simple mop every evening, took up all the messes through out the day. She also found an enlarged prostate, which was from what she told me, painful, and causing some of his internal problems as well. Sometime in his life he had been treated for mange, and apparently it must have been recurrent. He was also labeled a "biter" because when the masters son bit the 2 year old child, without leaving a mark, or drawing blood his mistress demanded him gone and Spencer was locked up during the day into isolation so that he could not bite the child again. According to his master this went on for some time, since he was attempting to keep Spencer, since he professed how much he loved him to me. Spencer interacted twice a day regularly with human companionship. In the morning before his master left for work when he took him out to potty, and then again in the evening when he returned when once again he took him out to potty. He learned to bite because he found safe haven under the bed.

Unfortunately, he found out that it was not a safe haven either since the broom and mop handles made perfect prodding devices to push him out from under the bed when he did something wrong so he could be punished. He never actually told me how he punished, or what his crimes were, but explained to me that Spencer knew if his master got him out from under the bed he was in big trouble.

Still, he loved his master, and from the moment I picked him up, before he jumped into my truck the day I got him, he turned around with his good eye, and looked for his master, I believe hoping that he would magically appear and save him from this fate that he was so unsure of. He never stopped looking for his master. Whenever I took him out to potty he would stand for as long as I would stand out there with him, just watching the street. Not moving, and steadily listening and watching, but more than anything else just waiting. And he waited for his master to come for him all the way up to the moment he took his last breath. But he never came. Spencer didn't know it, but he never intended to come, but he never gave up hope. He had been taken from his mother at about 8 weeks to be given as a wedding present to his master and then when he became a problem was given away by that same master to UYR amidst a swirl of half truths, and left out information, since after all, we have a reputation for taking those that are neglected, rejected and abused and making them all brand new again for their new forever homes.

But guess what? Spencer didn't want a new forever home, he wanted his own home back, hell he probably even wanted the 2 year old that terrorized him back so he could undo the damage he had done when he warning bit him. And after his surgery Monday to neuter him for an undecended testicle, he just decided that it wasn't worth it. He stopped eating, he finally stopped drinking water, he refused everything including wonderful treats that should have enticed any dog out of his self - imposed isolation if for no other reason than what dog can refuse a pork chop or piece of steak medium rare and just dripping with tasty juices made especially for him.

We’ve had so much rain here; I can’t remember when it has rained so many days in a row in 25 years. But the sun was shining, and the day was so warm that I decided to take the furkids out so they could run and play in the sunshine. I made sure to put some throw rugs out in the yard because the grass was still damp from continuous rain, in case they didn’t want their little feetsies to be wet. As it turned out it was a wonderful day for Spencer. He laid out in the sunshine and looked like he was so happy to be outside even though he was so weak that he just laid there soaking up the rays. I just raked leaves and threw a ball around for them in between on my breaks. I love to watch them try and figure out how to get out of the yard. I could literally sit for hours and watch them investigate every nook and cranny thinking, Ahhaaaa! I found it, the way out. Of course, it never is and they go back to investigating with their quizzical natures. Spencer didn’t join in the “get out hunt,” but instead just lay there and quietly said goodbye to the sun and the grass and everything he had grown to love in his short lifetime.

We came in and I made him comfortable on the bed to try and make him more comfortable, and something told me that he needed to be close so I could keep a watchful eye on him. I had tried to get him in to the vet that day but she was off, and my calls to her cell were not returned. Thankfully, she and I had already talked throughout the week about Spencer, and I knew that it was possible that a decision to euthanize was something that I was told would be in her letter to the board. Even still, you never think it will happen to the one that “you have.”

My story ends here. I made my calls around midnight when his breathing became labored, and for many reasons the decision was made to sit up with him, and give him sips of water and wait for 7am when my vet would be in the office. Spencer quietly slipped away 2 ½ hours before the office opened. He never got to say his goodbyes to his master or even the 2 year old that he bit. But I know in my heart, that his heart never loved them more than when he gave up and let go and went to the rainbow bridge to wait for a time when he would see them again.

Goodbye Spencer, I pray for you a better place where you will no longer grieve or suffer in pain..

Your loving foster Mom, Laura