[SoCalyorkiLvr]

I first posted this about 6 weeks ago when there was a thread that became very controversial and ugly with a lot of name calling and attacks. I feel it is still important today as a reminder as we grow as a forum and move forward .

All in all, this yorkie world of ours is very small and I think if any of you are, or have been, members of other forums you know that you tend to see some of the same names and people over and over. You hear the names of certain breeders over and over, etc., etc. Heck, I've only been a yorkie owner since December and have only been a member of forums since mid February, but I already know the breeders with bad reputations, the breeders on the biggest forums and the basic history of the most recent forums. They may have different screen or usernames but once you have been there a while to get the real names and recognize their dogs, etc. You become "friends".

In that short period of time I have noticed the effects of those who have strong personalities and strong opinions as well as some areas of control. In certain cases I have felt like I was back in high school where the "mob mentality" or "cliques" sort of rule the school. It reminds me of the recent movie, "Mean Girls" where a tight group can destroy someone's reputation with one rumor.

As an attorney, my training is to defend someone who is wrongly attacked, and to teach people to avoid breaking the law or subjecting themselves to a potential legal problem by making untrue and/or libelous statements. I have also been trained to see both sides of a story and to play devils advocate in the search for truth and justice. The truth is that these forums are mostly public, and the expectation is that anyone can join and read the posts now or in the future. With that in mind we must be conscious of what we post. We are not having a private conversation with someone that will never be published to anyone else. You are creating a permanent written document when you post on here and you should expect that "anyone and everyone" will read it. Even on a so-called "private forum" where you have to be invited to join, you are not free to say anything you want or to impugn another's reputation nonchalantly. You are not free to say things about people that aren't true or that you can't prove for instance. It is a written document that any member can print out and distribute freely and the consequences could be substantial.

This is not to say that anyone should be afraid to post their opinion. You should of course do so. You should however, phrase your post in a respectful and courteous way giving the subject of your post every benefit of the doubt and respect along the way. This is the moral, ethical and tactful way to behave. To go off on name calling tangents and making wild assumptions about people because you hear someone else say that is irresponsible and could lead to good, decent people getting hurt. I have seen it happen.

This is why I have posted several times recently about "tolerance" and working hard to keep YT free of the Mean Girl mentality. It is possible to have healthy discourse and debate without hurting people's feelings and making anyone feel badly about themselves. We have done that on here over and over again with great success and much better than any other forum I have witnessed. Sure, we will have our problems but if the majority refuse to get drawn into the "negative vibe" and decide not to post, the thread dies. It is so hard sometimes not to "take the bait" so to speak, but you get stronger each time you refuse to be a part of the negativity, whatever it may be.

We have a large number of members and a very diverse group. I think it is the largest and most diverse of any yorkie forum out there. We get many new members every day and our number of "regulars" grows every day. It is not possible to expect "everyone to behave civilly" all the time, but we are lucky to have an admin, who, with the help of his moderators, keeps this place pretty clean while allowing lots of leniency. Mean, vicious behavior is not tolerated and when threads get out of hand they are closed or later deleted to prevent any further bad feelings or damage being done. I respect this.

My point is that I want YT to remain friendly and open and positive. We can do this without sugar coating our posts or being afraid to express our opinions. It is done when we come from a positive place and surround ourselves with positive energy instead of negative, when we assume the good in people instead of the bad. We are all so passionate about these yorkie babies and we want only the best for them. Let's direct our energies to helping the "policing" agencies (the Puppymill busters,etc) do their jobs by reporting potential problems and letting them take care of it in a legal manner.

Thanks for your support and now

Let's Talk Yorkie!!! __________________